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to be or not be a cd
if you could re-live your life with everything being the same but with ONLY 1 change - to be or not be a cd, how would you choose?
I've always been a cd, and I know the thrill, excitement and comfort. But, I think life would be better if I wasn't a cd.
Shame + guilt = lower self esteem, and not feeling normal have all contributed to my shyness. I know I've missed out on life.
If there was a pill to stop being this way, I'd try it.
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I'm fine, had a fun life and just want it to continue (white water rafting next week, seen some black water I wouldn't mind trying and there's a really cool parachute jump now available a few hours drive away).
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I probably would not change, although I wonder sometimes what it would have been like not leading a dual life.
To Rachael black water rafting is good, see all the glow worms in the caves, with absolutely no light at all.
Good fun really, just get used to claustrophobia.
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Closets,
To be truthful I don't really know another life other than a CDing one , back to the same old question , " What is normal ?" I don't feel I've missed out on life perhaps it might have been a different one but in what way ?
My wife and I agree CDing has kept me faithful to her she knows fine I would have had affairs , so my marriage may have been over anyway . No regrets about having kids and now grandchildren . No matter what we feel inside life is what we make it , as long as we can find ways to enjoy it to the full does it really matter what clothes we choose to wear ?
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Since I can´t dress when I want and never have made a full transformation because of my wife, I believe it would be better if I wasn´t a CD. :(
Kisses
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Closets,
No on refection I'd still CD. I've had many wonderful experiences, yes there have been moments of trepidation, heart in mouth experiences as I progressed along my journey but all in all I'd stay as I am.
I've never hated myself for beening what I am. Pondered the whys but never let not knowing overwhelm me. Perhaps it's because I've always had a little streak of rebellion in me that's made me my own person.
With that wonderful thing hindsight, one thing I'd do differently is come out to my SO in the very early days while we were both much younger. That I feel would have eased the path tremendously. Oh and if I could please have the internet and this site again from the very start, well icing on the cake springs to mind.
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I occasionally ask myself this question. I spend a LOT of money on my lovely clothes and there is no doubt that I would be very much better off if I was not CD. Against that is the pleasure I get from wearing these clothes - it is excellent fun so no, I would not take the pill.
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I would have never dated my ex-wife, is there a pill for that. Crossdressing is nowhere on my list of regrets.
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This is a really tough question for me, I love my feminine side and how it makes me feel but since my own situation has gone downhill with my wife I would have to at least consider it. Like Helen said I too would come out much earlier but of course back then there was no group like this to get support and insight into things. I really do not know the answer, it would take much more pondering.
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A gay friend of mine in his late 40s told me that he would gladly have taken any magic "gay antidote" pill in there was one, many times when he was growing up. But now he's glad there wasn't because "if I had, then I wouldn't be me any more". That's sort of how I feel about this. My life might have been easier, but I wouldn't be me any more. This is part of who I am, and I like this person.
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If I could go back and not be a CD, I probably would. However the butterfly effect would still change every aspect of your life. Just think about all the time and money we have spent. I still spend about 20% of my time thinking about CDing or shopping. You could not change one thing.
I have never felt guilt or shame about dressing. It has just been part of my. I do feel that CDing had impacted my ability to date. I never wanted a woman to have to deal with it.
Sara :2c:
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It's a good question but there's no way to truly answer it. Also, there's no way to re-live one's life so... What would take the place of CDing? Would it be something more positive or something negative?
Crossdressing is surely less harmful than than many other vices. Maybe a pill to stop feeling shame and guilt (regarding CDing) would be better.
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"Shame + guilt = lower self esteem, and not feeling normal"
I have had a great life, the above comment is the hardest for me. You think you get over it then it comes back hard.
I would add a question how much would your life choices would chance if you didn't have CD in your DNA??
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That is a very difficult choice.
On the one hand it would have made my early life so much easier to not CD. No shame, guilt, fear, hiding and questioning my sanity.
On the other it means that had things progressed the same way I would never have married my loving wife. We would never have had all these decades together. We would not have the family we do. We would not be living this wonderful life together.
So, I'd have to say NO. I would not want to go back and change. I'm happy with all I have and with who I am.
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I honestly don't know, I do think it would have been an easier path.
When we pull on the treads of our life the tapestry unravels in unexpected ways. I know corny, it is a line from Star Trek
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It's made my life way too complicated, I would have preferred to be without this.
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I wish i had not had this thing. I have been tortured emotionally and socially all my life, and a loner, who wanted to marry, but never had any chance. CDing has added to the isolation, shame and guilt, and loneliness, feeling so very different than other men, and more sensitive even, than women. I do hope for a next life and world, where most will be able to live life again, without all the evils and crazy makers of this cruel world.
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No. Only because something might have replaced it, that would be more detrimental to my life.
I never looked at the money aspect of it. If I had, then I might not have married. I wasted a ton more because of that. Money can be earned, but it's just a tool for buying the fun things in life. If I buy it, then I'll have fun with it.
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Whenever this question arises I am reminded of the Butterfly effect, and the law of unintended consequences. The world being what it is, there is no guarantee I would have been happier if I had not been a cross dresser. As much as I admire women, and wish to develop the feminine aspects of my personality in ways that mirror them in an honorable way, there is no way to really predict whether I would have been happier as a real woman, or a cisgendered male.
There is always going to be something to regret in life, I would rather go forward the best I can with what I've got.
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What a depressing thread.
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What a daft question. I would choose to be a CD of course. How boring life would be without such guity pleasures. Simples.:heehee:
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Is there a pill to do it more and start earlier? I’ll take that one.
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"Shame + guilt = lower self esteem, and not feeling normal" "You think you get over it then it comes back hard. " "It's made my life way too complicated, I would have preferred to be without this." "I wish i had not had this thing."
I share all of the above with the posters (see my post from last week about being discovered). If there was an antidode, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But that's just me, I know many would not. But I will not judge anyone either way for how they feel, or chastise them for raising the question....
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What a rabbit hole to go down.
Easy answer is "yes, of course". Then life would have been so much simpler. But I would be a different person since I would have experienced life differently, and our personalities are shaped by our experiences. (ahh, the butterfly effect; one change influences many, many other changes.) I really don't know if I would be happier with (or as) the person that I would have come to be.
This reminds me of the many times in my life that I would wish that I had been born as a GG. ONLY 1 change, trade that pesky Y-chromosome for an X-chromosome at birth. I'd be the same person, except that I'd be a woman! But it doesn't work like that. That one change would have changes so many more things. The schools that I went to, my acquaintances, who I married, children, grandchildren. Things deviate quickly and significantly. Who knows if the overall package would have been better or not.
I guess I'm better off looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty. (And recent research indicates that this outlook is healthier anyway). I'd better appreciate the good things that I have, not dwell on the things that I would like to have, and do what I can to satisfy my unfulfilled desires without seriously jeopardizing the good things that I already have.
(This rabbit hole just got too deep). :daydreaming:
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good question I really don't know. Some times I feel sorry for people who are not CD's They are missing a bunch of cheap thrills and fun. Well, maybe not so cheap