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A lot has been written about them, so I went to "Ask a GG" to learn more from those who have worked in ladies retail about any training given to them for dealing with/helping a male who is buying female clothes or lingerie. All replied, "none given" and opted that it was just common sense to be helpful. So there!
Just be open and honest with SA's and you will be fine.
At their best, good SAs are gold. It pays dividends to get to know at least one in each store so they get familiar with your tastes. It is my experience that female SAs not only tolerate crossdressers, they ENJOY helping us. I have been told that we are generally better customers than female customers, in part because we tend to be more amenable to trying their suggestions. As a professional, a good SA appreciates when her expert opinion is respected. And I have NEVER been refused service in a dress shop, whether dressed or drab, and have never been prohibited from using a fitting room.
I believe we are entering an era when Toxic Masculinity is beginning to be rejected, and a man in a skirt or dress is the clearest indication
he is not afflicted with TM. Smart women recognize that fact and are quick to offer compliments and start a conversation. Store personnel are under extreme pressure from online retailers and are foolish to turn away ANY customer regardless of their genitalia.
I worked at a large retail store. There was no training in dealing with certain group's of people. They only said we are to treat everyone equally regardless of any differences. I belive most large corporations have the same policies these days.
Jenny,
I asked a female SA in my builder's merchant if they had formal training and she said all the staff have online training . I have to say despite expecting problems all the staff have been polite and helpful .
Hi all. I have had very gracious assistance in all cases except for one which left me thoroughly embarrassed. I was wearing shorts and women?s tennis shoes with pantyhose on when I was shopping for more pantyhose at a Hanes outlet. The lady at the cash register called some kind of code on the intercom. Another woman walked out from the back of the store to ring me up. As she approached she said to the first women- don?t worry it will be alright in a soft voice. Apparently she was not going to wait on me. It had a really negative effect on me for a while, but I got over it. Overall, the benefits of telling them who you are shopping for outweighs the risks, but there are a small number unfriendly folks out there.
Sandi
hello Jenny,
only once has a male shop assistant refused to serve me and that was over twenty years ago when I was trying to buy fishnet tights for my daughter to wear at her dance class!
Most large organisations in the UK ensure that employees have done their Diversity training; I know that I have to renew mine online every three years.
Think about it - when you say "I want to pay for these items" why would a Shop Assistant refuse to take your money?
luv J
Back when I was in the retail business and anyone came in to buy articles of clothing no matter what I didn't voice any question other than needed info to fill their order. It wasn't any of my business what they wanted with the article. And I sure didn't want to alienate or run off any customers. I am the same way when I purchase fem attire if asked an off question I either just stare at the SA or say thanks anyway and walk out. I really don't care what they think but I don't have to answer, period.
Most SAs are very willing to help.
There are sales associates who do not appreciate diversity when it comes to sexuality or sexual identity. It's not limited to attire. For the most part they just do their jobs, and, if they think they are funny they'll make some asshole comment after he or she leaves. Over the years I have had some snide comments made. However, when I use to buy alot of lingerie for my wife the sales associates, especially older women (30's-50's) fell over backwards to help me. Of course, since I was six foot and 175 pounds and I was buying for a five foot two woman of 115 pounds there was no hint the lingerie was for me. However, once when I went into a Catherine's to buy some full slips two sales associates acted as if space aliens had landed to abduct them. I had not even got ten feet into the store before I saw their angst and apprehension, and, I was neatly attired.
The worse was actually an internet order filled by the Kohl's store in Tukwila, WA. Not one of the ordered panties was sent, but, five wrong panties....not even close to the style and colors. It was obvious to me someone, presumably a woman, did not appreciate the order was by a male name. I sent a blistering letter to the head of Kohl's with a copy sent to the store manager. Many apologies and a partial refund. Of course, since our PayPal account is under my name, anytime my wife orders anything using the quick Paypal logo, it will show I ordered it.
I do think there are some young women entering the job market who have not encountered cross dressers, and, many times will be come flustered. And, as Sandi (#6) posted, some people are just plain ignorant and discriminatory.
A lot of SAs work on commission, so being open to all is just good business.
Having been a CD for more than 60 years. Lots of different experiences. All kinds of things have happened. From SA telling me I should buy my sister rayon panties as nylon is too expensive. Others have known that the clothes were for me and participated in selecting things. I've had one SA let me try on a bra and the next time I came in she swore that the store never allowed men to try on their lingerie. She missed selling a very expensive bra. At another store one SA wouldn't let me try on a blouse, but another said sure. I ended up buying a lot of clothes from her. I did have one SA that couldn't believe me that the lingerie was for me. No matter what I said she refused to accept it. Oh well
My experiences have been 99% positive. I've had two mildly irritating experiences, one where the shop owner kept calling me "buddy", the second an SA in a petrol station who said a pointed " Thank you MATE".
Beyond those all has been fine. Body language has suggested one or two SA's have been a little uncomfortable while serving me, buying bra's and knickers in M&S springs to mind, but even then they were polite and professional. On most occasions the SA and I have a little chat either about how their day is going, or "Oh it feels a bit cold in here today don't you think?", or that old staple of British conversation the weather.
Be natural, be polite and smile and all will be good.
I've had tremendous interactions with SAs (a/k/a sales angels).
I've found a store full of them here in Melbourne (written about it in the photos section and on Kandi's blog) plus a number in the US. I had one SA yesterday suggesting websites for lipstick and clip-on earrings. I've encountered several in the US I've become friends with and have gone out with.
It's called "retail hell" for a reason. If you are nice to them, and appreciate their advice, they are very likely to treat you well.
I went to Sephora to first buy, then return some items for my daughter around Christmas time. What was amazing was the SA?s assumed I was Transgender and the cosmetics were for me. They treated me with warmth and care. And I do believe they are trained or provided awareness of Trans customers. I didn?t make them aware until the end of the transaction but it was extremely satisfying for a trans/crossdresser with fear issues when buying female items to be treated so nicely.
Alice
My wife worked at a plus size women's store and they had a blurb about it in their training. My wife said she would see some of us maybe once a week (she only worked like 5 to 15 hours a week). Her coworkers were nothing but supportive of these customers (and one time a bunch of them went to see a drag show together). She didn't want me buying there but said I could shop one of the same stores in other towns or buy online. I picked up a few orders there and they started hinting they knew who they were for.
Once while shopping a large department store chain, I came across a clearance table of active wear, leotards and tights (my weakness). While rummaging through the selection, an elderly SA approached and discretely told me these were for women. I politely responded" Oh yes, I know, Thank you ", and continued to shuffle through the packages. She put her hand on the same package I was about to pick up and said, "But sir, these are not for men, there for women". I gently responded again, "Yes, thank you". She took a step back with a look of confusion and shook her head while muttering to herself, "but I don't understand" and walked away. I'm sure it was her first time encountering one of us.
Sephora is very accepting, they even run makeup for Transgender classes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice K
Honestly I tell them up front that it's for me and have not had a bad experience shopping for women's things DRAG or DRAB since the 90's.
I read those comments and was not surprised. My guess is that what training is provided is geared towards customer service and avoiding ?shrinkage?
I would agree, they are there to sell items, not judge you.Quote:
Originally Posted by JenniferMBlack
I don't think it's a big deal at all these days....especially for the younger sales assistants
I have never had any problems even the very first (nervous) time to buy a skirt I was treated nicely, later we became friends. Thankfully times are changing and gender differences are for more accepted than ever before.
Now it is nothing but pleasure to shop en femm as well
HollyCD, haven't had an SA give me that reaction but I have found in the more rural areas ( where I Love living) a man in a womans section looking is like blasphemy to all. Some are helpful to a point,but the men walking by stare and the ladies act like you aren't there. I do my looking and/ or buying anyway. I have been amazed a few time by younger SA's asking if it was for me or my wife. A few an tell by the sizes I'm looking at it definitely not for one or the other. I buy more clothes for my wife than for myself, as I get into cities more than she does and she likes my choices. So do the church ladies.
I've had mostly positive interactions with SA's. There is one store I shop at from time to time where the SA's just aren't very outgoing. They don't normally greet me when I walk in or offer to help. But I noticed that it isn't just with me. They tend to be that way to all. They are friendly enough when I check out, just not very interactive while I shop. I've shopped at the same chain in a couple of nearby towns and the reaction is totally different. I'm greeted when I walk in, offered help and suggestions for matching items.
I have been fortunate to have nothing but amazing experiences with SAs of all ages. I consider myself friendly and I'm never triggered by anyone else who might be bothered by how I present on a given day.
You're certainly entitled to feel whatever you want, but your response makes me feel bad for you...now I'm triggered. Most often, when a shipment is wrong, it's wrong because someone made a mistake, not because a warehouse clerk wanted to do double work by shipping the wrong thing and then have to re-ship the correct items a week later. Assuming someone you never met before is out to get you over a catalog order seems.... :sad:Quote:
The worse was actually an internet order filled by the Kohl's store in Tukwila, WA. Not one of the ordered panties was sent, but, five wrong panties....not even close to the style and colors. It was obvious to me someone, presumably a woman, did not appreciate the order was by a male name.
I recently ordered 3 bras from ThirdLove.com. One of the items was different than what I'd ordered - mistakes happen. One of the others was what I had ordered, but didn't fit the way I wanted. That's my mistake, if anyone's, yet they took the return, replaced the one that was wrong and gave me a full refund on the one I didn't like. I didn't see any need to lecture them on the importance of never making a shipping error.