Funny things I can't say to my wife

My wife is DADT, so there's some things I can't tell her.


My wife was in the bathroom doing her makeup when I asked her a question.

She said, "I'm doing my eyes. I can't talk when I'm doing my eyes."

My unspoken response, "OK, I thought I was the only one who couldn't talk while doing my eyes."


My wife just had a knee replacement,, and has trouble getting into the car.

My unspoken statement is, "Pretend you're wearing a long dress. Sit on the seat with both feet on the ground, and then just swing your feet in."


Anyone have any others?

I don't have a wife, but similar experience I had at work with female coworkers or woman friends. Only a week ago it was about walking in heels. She wanted to use an elevator instead of using the stairs to go down 3 floors. I just wanted to say "I totally understand you. I wouldn't want to walk downstairs wearing almost 4 inch heels also", but I couldn't, otherwise she might start asking some awkward questions. A while ago a friend tripped while walking in platform shoes. I almost said "I know how hard it is to walk in them on the granite blocks", but I kept my mouth shut instead. But a few years ago I wasn't careful when talking about pantyhose and how easy it is to tear them if you're not careful and almost outed myself. An awkward questions started to appear, but I was saved by the phone bell.

Steffi,
The great thing is I can say what more or less anything to GGs when I'm out and about .

OK I have to watch my Ps & Qs with my wife on the phone but she just tells me straight ," I don't want to hear that !" It is hard even though I'm separated as it's a daily routine I'm living and I'm just chatting to her more as a friend .

Wife: Will you carry my phone and keys? These jeans don’t have any pockets. It sucks.

Me unspoken: Yeah, it sucks that women’s jeans don’t have pockets but they’re so much more comfortable than men’s jeans.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Julie1123

Wife: Will you carry my phone and keys? These jeans don’t have any pockets. It sucks.

Me unspoken: Yeah, it sucks that women’s jeans don’t have pockets but they’re so much more comfortable than men’s jeans.

---

Excellent!

I found myself saying the "wrong things" often in my early years of marriage, Steffi. Then, learned it was better not to say anything than the wrong thing!:doh:

That's one reason our marriage failed! U should be able to say pretty much ANYTHING to someone who loves and cares for u and vice versa!:hugs:

No secrets between my wife and I: she had carpal tunnel surgery 3 days ago and the day after the surgery she made a comment that I might have to help her hook her bra - I simply said "I can hook my bra behind my back; hooking yours should be no problem!" She simply laughed and said "smarty-pants!"

That's really funny!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

I found myself saying the "wrong things" often in my early years of marriage, Steffi. Then, learned it was better not to say anything than the wrong thing!:doh:

That's one reason our marriage failed! U should be able to say pretty much ANYTHING to someone who loves and cares for u and vice versa!

---

Yes, I should, but "should" is the operative word here.

My wife is accepting so I can sympathize with these kind of things but doesn't like suggestions since she has been doing this kind of stuff longer.

Hints with make up is a definite don't go there!