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I can't for the life of me find my eyeliner, and yet I know if it had been left out, my wife would have either said something, or would have pocketed it herself.
I get on my hands and knees to look all over the floor in every room of the house when I put my things away, so I know it's extremely unlikely that I have left it out. Again, my wife would have said something, even a veiled comment.
It's totally bizzare.
Anybody else go through this?
Yah. My first wife found a stray lipstick on my dresser. Knew it wasn't hers. That did not end well. I'm much more careful about tracking my stuff now, but accidents happen.
Sure, a lost earring typically. Its amazing how things get where they end up.
I had a very pretty necklace. I know for a fact I put it in a safe place. But this 62yo brain can't find that safe place! As you stated, I know it wasn't left out, my wife would have mentioned something. I've been looking for it for almost 8 months.
Yep , small items are easily misplaced. Keep looking, you may come up with it. I like to put all of my small items in zip lock bags to keep them from getting away from me. I did lose a false eyelash one time and tore the place up to find it. Those are really tough to locate.
Sandi
For the life of me I cannot remember where I dug the hole and put the coffee can with $10,000 in it. And, the backyard is not all that big.
Yup it happens all the time to me. Always missplacing something.
When Danielle was still a secret to my wife I used to panic when I couldn't find a fake fingernail that had fallen off. Also always had to vacuum to make sure to get any sequins that had come off a dress and to make sure the tell tale signs of high heels were not left on the carpet.
I vacuum every bit of floor in the house for stray hairs from my wig. My wife once commented about finding a lot of dark hairs in the house, which were clearly not ours as we're both blonde.
Happen to me? Oh yes. How frustrating, for sure. Then, sometimes when you find it, it?s in the strangest place. Once, I found my favorite lipstick in the den. What? I have no recollection. I did chuckle and shake my head.
My wife knows (is not happy), but I still try not to leave any tell-tale signs behind when I get dolled up. Once in a while I will lose something (usually a nail or earring) and my wife will find it and set it on my side of the dresser without saying a word.
of all the things i've lost in life it's my mind i miss the most lol
I've lost a red lip stick a fex months ago... and she found it ! She only said she found it, smiling, and don't know what is it.
It's probably one of the tells that let her mostly know.
Sometimes I forget where I left something (sometimes at home, sometimes at work), but when I'm sure that the missing item was used for the last time at home, my SO throws it without any complaint... We are in a hard DADT.
It has happened that she has collected some things from the private area of my closet and she threw them away when she was upset with me for whatever reason. One night after work, I realized that something was not in the same state as usual, so I double-checked and missed some things. Since I wasn't sure if they were there in the morning, I went to the garbage dump and looked in the trash: I found a bag with more things than I thought, including my best wig (the only one that was not a cheap costume for parties), jeans, blouses, etc. I did not came back to home with them but to work. Later, I found out that a lot of other things were still missing, so I guess she was trashing my things for days, a little bit at a time.
TamT, that would be about the end of the Marriage!
I understand she didn't like you dressing, but to toss out your personal items is just nasty. DADT or not that is plain crappy! I wonder what she would think if she came home and a bunch her stuff was gone from the closet?
This reminds me of a joke I heard once.
2 men are in a men's locker at the golf course and 1 guy is getting dressed he puts on a girdle. The other man asked why and how long has he been wearing that?
"Ever since my wife found my girlfriends girdle in the glove compartment in my car".
I had a lovely seafoam nightgown that I had only worn a few times. It disappeared! I looked everywhere and never found it. Even asked my DADT wife. She said she hadn't seen it. Only two thoughts about what happened to it. Threw it out accidentally with some other feminine items I was getting rid of or I left it somewhere and the wife threw it out in anger and later regretted doing it so fibbed. Oh well! I have occasionally lost or left out other items like nail tis that brake off. I can't find them but wife always seems to find them.
TamT, that is NOT a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" relationship. That is outright hostility. I don't know what you define as "hard DADT." My wife has not said "boo" to me since the mid 1980's. On occasion she has found an article of clothing I forgot to put away. Or, has seen this forum open. She did not go ballistic. Only an advisory that she placed the articles away from the view of visitors. Or sign off less a visiting family member see the page open. I totally agree with Pumped. If your wife wants to engage in a conversation, then discuss, not act out.
Wow TamT, tell her to stop or you'll start throwing out her stuff too.
A lot of the excitement of dressing for me used to be the secrecy. Now I no longer have to cover my tracks there appears to be something missing.
The worst part about vacuuming to get rid of stray hairs or other telltale signs is that after vacuuming the carpet, you have to go back and mess it up so your wife doesn't wonder why you vacuumed it! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteCD
To answer the original post, at my age, I misplace a lot of things. Just last evening I found some of my plumbing tools that I had been looking for to do a minor plumbing job. Of course, I had already finished the job using makeshift tools.
Not entirely related, but my wife lost the diamond out of her engagement ring, many years ago. We worked out it was probably down our couch somewhere. I literally took the couch apart to look for it. Never found. So we took a 600 mile trip back to the jeweller we originally bought the ring from and choose a new diamond. Happily than one is still attached to the ring. She stopped wearing it doing the house work after that. Funnily enough I do the house work these days. :heehee:
On the vein of worrying about your wife finding things.
Years ago, before my wife knew about my CD'ing I rinsed out a pair of panties and hung them up to dry in a "safe" place. When I got home later the panties were lying on the ironing board. I have no clue how she found them. I did ask her after we had a long talk, but she wouldn't say. No idea why not, she just wouldn't go into it. I had hid them well, they were behind the furnace and water heater in our basement, just off the laundry room. She couldn't see them just walking through the room. She had to walk around behind the furnace, and piled in front of the furnace was a bunch of tools and stuff she would have had to climb over. Plus there was nothing back there for her, nothing stored, just the furnace and water heater.
Not really "losing something", but I have a funny one about my kids putting the laundry up... (wife and kids know and are very supportive, BTW)
My wife found that some of her panties were missing, and she was looking all over for them. She finally looked in my "girly undergarments" drawer, and there they were! She came up to me with this really serious "we've got to talk" vibe, telling me that it was OK for me to borrow clothes if I ask, but panties were off limits. It took FOREVER for me to convince her that it was my daughter getting the laundry mixed up and not me stealing her underwear! :)
I was like "uh, if I wanted to sneak around and take your panties, don't you think I would have put them back where I got them?!!" Hilarious...
~Sara
Touch?! "Hard DADT" = hostility. We had some couples theraphy sessions many years ago, and she told the therapist about my CDing in the 2nd or 3rd session. The therapist already worked with other CDers and was aware about DADT, so he suggested it. My wife didn't like that answer, she told him that it was my problem and she quit. I continued the theraphy by myself trying to find how to compose our relationship, but after some months, I realized that I was doing a lot of effort which it wouldn't be appreciated because she didn't trust me anymore. Few years later she told me that she didn't love me anymore, and that was not a surprise, but we are still together because of our children. In the meanwhile, when there are problems of any kind, she always says that it's because of my CDing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie47
My argument goes in the opposite way: "I don't touch your stuff... Why are you taking mine?"Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaM
Once, she needed a blouse for a special event. I offered her one of mine... bad idea: more hostility.
My wife knows I dress and is supportive. We have different coloring, so most of my makeup is safe, but eyeliner she will take.
Did you ever find it? Is your wife supportive? Did you ask her about it?
TamT, I know the feeling of couples therapy becoming single sessions. My and wife I tried couples therapy for combat related PTSD. When I tried to raise the issue of her PTSD for her own issues that effect my ability to handle my and her PTSD, she shut it down. "We're here for you, not me!" End of couples therapy. When I tried to raise the issues in the privacy of our home, she told me "If you ever bring it up again, I'll divorce you!" End of discussion. I think a wife should get educated about cross dressing. At least to rule out myths and lies. Learn how to handle it. Staying together for the sake of the children is an iffy issue. Kids observe. Kids can end up getting the wrong idea about what a loving relationship or marriage is all about.
No, I haven't found it. It's been missing for at least three weeks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameli
My wife isn't supportive. She supports me going to therapy and discussing both the dressing and my eating disorder, but she doesn't want to see it, see evidence of it or hear about it.
We nearly discussed it tonight, as she asked if I've been discussing dressing with my therapist, and I said I have. She looked confused and I questioned what was up, and apparently she had a question but then didn't follow up.
I couldn't bring myself to ask her what the question was, or if she had any other questions.
This is true for me also. I don't feel the need to dress like I used to now that my S.O knows. She said it was okay if I dress and that she would even help with my makeup. The only stipulation is not to dress around our 7 y.o daughter. Which I totally agree with as it would confuse her I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotte Haynes
Charlotte,
So you are discussing CD'ing with a therapist at your wife's behest? Or did you take the initiative? Sound like, per your description, she is hoping that you'll be cured. Hate to burst her bubble, but there is a standing joke about how many phycologist does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb needs to really want to change.
The last time I opened my makeup bag I saw that my Dermablend concealer was not there. It was not in any of the likely places for it to be. My wife is supportive and if she should find it, I imagine it'll end up on the top of my dresser without a word spoken beyond that she put something on my dresser.
Still I prefer not to be in that situation.