Should I feel bad about this?

Mmk. TL;DR version
My boyfriend loves to wear skirts. I didn't know this when we got involved, but it's fine. We made a bet along the lines of "You'll never get me in a skirt" "$10 says I will" "Deal"
Needless to say because I'm posting here, I lost. And ended up enjoying it for all I owed him $10.

Um. Should I feel bad that wearing blatantly female clothes is simply a fetish?
I look it up, and see constant "it's not just a fetish", and I do get that for a LOT of people it's not. Its something they enjoy, or expressing gender identity, or something besides sexual.
But for me.. it's just beyond hot.
(so says the gay guy...)

Is that wrong?
I'm probably over thinking this but it's been bothering me for awhile.
(I also feel weird asking on other lgbt forums because I'm not a transwoman by any stretch of the imagination)

So your boyfriend likes to wear skirts and you think it is hot. I don't see a problem. As with any other decision that efects both of you, just talk and be sure you are in agreement. Again, if he like to dress up and you like to see him dressed up, go have fun.

More "Its the hottest thing I've ever done", he dressed me up on the bet.

Again I might be overthinking this, but I'm kind of afraid it's insulting to others who've pushed so hard to be seen as more than a sexual deviant.

I'm kind of with Casey - just where is the problem here?

Life is too damned short to spend it miserable. If something makes you happy and hurts no one, then why worry about it?

If you read through the different threads on this site, you will find people from all across the spectrum. You will also find that they are all equally respected and validated. the common thread here is that we like to dress. The reasons why do not really matter. I love coming here because I can chat with others in the same place as me and learn from others and get support from others that may or may not be. Bottom line, it is not insulting to anyone and there is nothiong wrong with it. go and enjoy.

It is beyond hot to me to see my boyfriend in womens clothes. It is beyond hot for me to think of any man in womens clothes, but super especially my boyfriend. Super duper especially... but I dont feel a lot of guilt about it though. :) I am wondering what part makes you feel guilty? Does it make you worry that you are secretly not gay, :) and that your image of yourself is not correct? Guilt will do the opposite of helping you find answers. Don't feel guilty, there is nothing to feel guilty about unless you are hurting him? I dont know the situation, but this alone is nothing to feel guilty for. Lots of differrent things turn people on, should they feel guilty for them too? ;) be happy and enjoy each other....

Add: being with my SO all dressed up and me all dressed up is so far past 'hot' that hot isn't even the right word. It is.... I don't even think there is a word. And there certainly isn't a polite way yup put it on a public forum... ;) I don't know if that makes you feel any better but I hope so. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by anonymous?

More "Its the hottest thing I've ever done", he dressed me up on the bet.

Again I might be overthinking this, but I'm kind of afraid it's insulting to others who've pushed so hard to be seen as more than a sexual deviant.

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Oh, even among identity dressers, there's a degree of hotness in wearing the clothes. :D This dissipates over time for many members, but still you're in good company. And besides ... there are reasons why it's hot, and you may discover what they are a few years down the line.

Edit
So excuse my age (perhaps), but about your abbreviations:

mmmk = Mmmm. Ok. ?

What's TL;RD? Time line;double rainbow (meaning this is what happened and it's fantastic?)

As for the premise of your post, A, think Brer Rabbit! "Oh PLEASE Mr. Brer Fox! Kill me! Eat me! Boil me! Skin me! ANYTHING but PLEASE don't throw me into that brier patch full of ladies clothes!"

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Originally Posted by CloserthanthisGG

It is beyond hot to me to see my boyfriend in womens clothes. It is beyond hot for me to think of any man in womens clothes, but super especially my boyfriend. Super duper especially... but I dont feel a lot of guilt about it though. :) I am wondering what part makes you feel guilty? Does it make you worry that you are secretly not gay, :) and that your image of yourself is not correct? Guilt will do the opposite of helping you find answers. Don't feel guilty, there is nothing to feel guilty about unless you are hurting him? I dont know the situation, but this alone is nothing to feel guilty for. Lots of differrent things turn people on, should they feel guilty for them too? ;) be happy and enjoy each other....

Add: being with my SO all dressed up and me all dressed up is so far past 'hot' that hot isn't even the right word. It is.... I don't even think there is a word. And there certainly isn't a polite way yup put it on a public forum... ;) I don't know if that makes you feel any better but I hope so. :)

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Say, would you mind having a little chat with MY wife and see if you can bring her around for me? <giggle>

You are getting good answers here. You just need to rethink one statement you made, where you equate your feelings to being a sexual deviant. Sorry, this in no way comes even close to sexual deviancy. You are two people who enjoy each other, be happy.

Barbara

ReineD

TLDR = too long didn't read, a common reply when a person wants you to know they didn't read your post.

Well as long as you smack him around a little when he's dressed I think all is A-OK.


Julia

For anonymous, well you have found a good site to discover all the flavours out there.

I am in a male body, but I am a female psyche. Additionally, I have a male psyche I time share with. Gets complicated. I want to wear female clothing as I am female in mind.

Now some of the cross dressers simply like doing it. It makes them feel good (nothing wrong with that reason).

But life is never simple. The world is full of nasty judgemental people pretending to be nice people who can't see their own intolerance.

Freak is a term I am sure a lot of us here worry about.

But the bottom line, is what makes your relationship work, is going to be ok to you and your partner eh. So don't sweat the reactions of others.

Leslie (my other half) likes a bit of bondage, problem is his wife is a total sub who only gets arroused after a fight. That makes for some difficulties :)

If his wearing girls clothes is mutually amusing, don't worry about how to label it.

As a new cross dresser I can say this, I enjoy wearing what I have because it makes me feel good and pretty. It also makes me get closer to my growing feminine side. So if you enjoy it and it makes you feel good/pretty as it makes me, then do it.

Although we're not at all in the same boat, I think I know what you mean, where you're coming from, and why you might be feeling a little bad. My two cents is that as long as you aren't doing it to mock or belittle anyone, you shouldn't feel bad. If your reason for donning certain garments differs from the reasons that many others do it, I don't see where it's at all wrong unless you're doing it with contempt for those other people (and you're not).

A lot of couples role play in the bedroom -- police, nurses, prostitutes, what have you -- and while I'm sure that it's typically over-the-top, caricature-like, and fetishistic, it's probably not mean-spirited, and is most likely intended to remain relatively private. Your activity is really no different.

not to be rude, just wondering are you a heterosexual genetic girl, can not tell from your post or personal information, just wondering before i post my response

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Originally Posted by CINDYO

not to be rude, just wondering are you a heterosexual genetic girl, can not tell from your post or personal information, just wondering before i post my response

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I believe he is in a male gay relationship.

You enjoy it your boyfriend enjoys it nether of you are ding any harm to anyone else so just carry on and enjoy it and don`t feel bad about it unless half of the enjoyment of doing it is thinking that is is bad :doh:

As long as you feel comfortable with what is happening, "sit back and enjoy the ride"! "Wrong" is a judgement and not a fact.

I have to agree with everyone else. As long as both of you are OK with it, enjoy it. Just understand, and it seems that you do, that your boyfriend's reasons for putting on a skirt and your reasons for putting on a skirt can be entirely different. But again, as long as both of you are OK with it, enjoy it. Might be one more thing that you have in common, "Can I borrow that lushious, blue boustier?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by anonymous?

More "Its the hottest thing I've ever done", he dressed me up on the bet.

Again I might be overthinking this, but I'm kind of afraid it's insulting to others who've pushed so hard to be seen as more than a sexual deviant.

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If you'd never tried anything kinky before and he tied you up you might also think that was the hottest thing ever.

The difference of course is that there are a lot of people for whom this is non-sexual -- people for whom having a penis and wanting to be respected as a woman is a struggle. But then there are also a lot of people on this forum for whom it is a fetish.

Odd, really, that this community exists. A forum to support paraplegics probably wouldn't welcome people who confined themselves to wheelchairs as a sexual fetish.

But it's because there is a bit of a blur between these sexual issues and gender issues. A lot of little boys who knew they wanted to be a girl when they were 5 years old (in a totally non-sexual way, of course) ended up beating off in panties when they hit puberty. Testosterone is a hell of a thing.

Fetishistic crossdressers can be quite demeaning to femininity, and some drag queens mock femininity, and that does offend me, but ironically the crossdressers and queens were some of my only support before I came out as transsexual.

It's cool that you're sensitive to the deeper issues, but I wouldn't worry about it.