Caught by ex-wife

I was in the park near my house today, when I was approached -- as unexpectedly as can be -- by my ex-wife (ugly divorce last year after only a few months of marriage; had nothing to do with my dressing, as she only found out about this after our divorce (to her credit, she was quite understanding)) and her teenage son. Several weeks ago, after much bitter e-mailing, I shut down all further communication, and felt entirely done with her. She has been having a hard time letting go, though. Given the nastiness of our last communications, I had no desire to see her ever again. I hadn't seen her son since she left the house with him the night before I filed for divorce (she proceeded to clear out the checking account the next morning).

In the park, I was wearing black pull-on crepe pants -- not very noticeably feminine, and a matching tank and sheer blouse. These were, I thought, only slightly more noticeable. It is black and which with a Hawaiian flower design (which men wear), but the blouse is sheer (hence the need for the tank), and has 3/4 sleeves. As I have been venturing out a bit more bravely, I wasn't all that worried about what people might think. In the past year, I have not run into my ex one single time, so her seeing me was the last thing I expected. She is also the one person in this town (which I will soon be leaving) who I care about seeing me dressed (even demurely as I was). When she approached -- which she said was because her son wanted to say hello -- I immediately squirmed and said I was uncomfortable (true!) and was going to leave. Fortunately, they left fairly quickly and without incident. I then gathered my things and left after they'd walked away.

When I got home, I had received an e-mail from her assuring me that her son hadn't noticed that I was wearing a woman's blouse. BUSTED! I knew she'd notice, since she is very much a woman who notices what others are wearing (men and women are VERY different this way, in general).

I guess I just wanted to write this down. I'm feeling a bit badly about her seeing me for the first -- and almost certainly last -- time this way. On the other hand, I've pretty much accepted that we're entirely disconnected, so what do I care? Still, it was a bit weird.

Sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like your impending move might be a very good idea indeed.

Hugs,
Persephone.

Let me guess...you live in a small town...:heehee:

Well, aside from the embarrassing, "first time" jitters of being unexpectedly "exposed"...things seem to have gone pretty well (considering all of the possible negative scenarios). At least you have that challenge behind you now.

Fortunately, you do not seem to be faced with the "child factor" that often ties you to a vindictive ex for years. (and all of the devious games they play using the children as pawns).

:hugs:

:love:

I dress at home kinda quasi 100% of the time. My sons girlfriend is totally knowing of my situation but I still feel awkward around her. I build up speed and move around. The on set is always awkward to me. I always wait to get a call from her parents to say what the hell are you doing?

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Originally Posted by Anon18

I guess I just wanted to write this down. I'm feeling a bit badly about her seeing me for the first -- and almost certainly last -- time this way. On the other hand, I've pretty much accepted that we're entirely disconnected, so what do I care? Still, it was a bit weird.

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I think maybe you care a lot more than you are willing to admit and if there are things in your mind that need sorting out you need to do it before you leave otherwise they will never go away .

Dear Anon... first I want to say... there may be a chance with your ex wife... if there is go for it with all you've got... secondly, coincidentally, my first wife has been in touch... she needs to divorce her husband... and she knows that I am good at that (I did our own divorce... and some other friends as well)... she has only seen me in mens' clothes... now she will see me in Gloria Vanderbilt Jeans and a cashmere sweater from Ann Taylor... this will be an interesting meeting...

That is weird, I hate it when that happens.

Without knowing the whole situation with your ex, she seems pretty understanding and sounds like she wouldn't use it against you in some way.

Gotta give her points for that.

really you dont owe her anything,unless you do have feelings for her that wont go away.But at the same time fair play to her for the way she dealt with seeing you dressed

I say, let it go (unless you want to resume your relationship with your EX).

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Originally Posted by eluuzion

Fortunately, you do not seem to be faced with the "child factor" that often ties you to a vindictive ex for years. (and all of the devious games they play using the children as pawns).
:hugs:
:love:

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JUST what I was thinking, Eluusion! I normally would care LESS about what my ex thinks! However, because my daughter is with HER 3 or 4 days a week, it DOES MATTER!

i some times wonder if my ex would even know i is me, have not seen her in decades. and yes she brought up the cross dressing in court.

as for your ex do you want to do "things" with her?
if not then do not worry to much about her, as for the child, hopefully the ex has her head or right for her. the girls feelings and thoughts are first.

.

I have absolutely no interested in reconciling -- or even seeing -- my ex ever again. Just wanted to make that clear. I just wanted to relate that just the fourth or fifth time I've ventured out dressed (modestly, semi-stealthily), SHE happened to run across me. This was the first time in nearly a year our paths had crossed, so it just seemed very unlikely. Also, as I had said, she found out post-divorce about my dressing (she opened a drawer when she came to collect a few last things), and it felt weird to be seen en femme by her. I'm sure you can all understand that.

I told my ex-wife about "Genny" about 3 years ago , we have been divorced for over 12 years by then . Our son was living with me at the time and was snooping on the computer and saw pictures of me . Also i never hid anything since it was only him and I living here . Well , to make along story short , he wasnt liking the rules and cerfews i put on him , so I knew he would tell his mother just to if nothing else P_SS me off . the ex and i were at the childrens hospital in Columbus where my grandson was having surgery . We walked out to have a smoke and i told her there was something that I have kept from her and needed to come clean . I thought for sure it was gonna be a bad experience , but much to my surprise it wasnt ! She was VERY supportive and gave me a great feeling about it . I also told her that when i was dressed that I go by "Genny" which is her name . She said she was honored . Afew weekes later she called me and we talked more about it and she mentioned about going shopping . It was a FANTASTIC day , i didnt go dressed , because my grandaughter was with us , but she helped me shop , picked out some really sexy things for me . The next time we went shopping she brought a bag of panties , bras and some other things she didnt want anymore or didnt fit her . This is how our relationship is now , we stil go shopping , she stills gives me her hand me downs and she has even started to call me Genny . The bad part of this is she is re-married and i have a very supportive girlfriend , so its not like things are going to work out anytime soon .anyhow , i guess what im saying is , it wasnt bad at all for me having the ex-wife find out , in fact its been a blessing !

The problem with anyone who might ever want to harm you knowing about your dressing (unless you're out of the closet to the world), is the chance that person would use it against you. In a word, "extortion".

Even the accepting wife or SO can turn against you if things go sour.