It's been almost 2 years.

Even though I have underdressed, had a pedi or 2, :daydreaming: even though I have been on here looking and reading I haven't dressed or had makeup on in almost 2 years. Has it been rough you may ask. Well the answer is no it has been excruciating!!! :eek: :sad: I miss the feel of shaved legs pantyhose and the rustle of a dress rubbing against my legs. I miss the feel and smell of foundation on my face and the smooth taste of lipstick. I miss the fit of a bra holding my chest together and the waist cincher pulling it all together to make a waist where there is none. I miss the look of my calves when I slide into a 4-4 inch heel. Seeing my polished toes peeking through the end of an open toe platform. I miss the wonderful smell of perfume on my neck and wrist. I miss the feel of earrings dangling as I walk and the brush of hair (even if it is a wig) on my back when my dress or blouse is open in the back. I miss the sound of the heels as I walk through a mall or across a parking lot to get to the next shopping experience. I miss all of it there is only one thing I don't miss and that is when it comes to an end and I have to remove it all and become Bill again. Thanks all for listening to my rant and letting me get a little of my depression out. Love to all and I hope to feel it all again soon.

I have missed the point.
Why?

Beverly, Many things are going on in my life. My mother in law has dementia and lives with us. Along with my brother in law which is slightly retarded and his companion. The only way I will be able to dress is after MIL is gone and brother in law isn't anywhere near. Needless to say an act of congress and knowing the way they work things out I may never be able to dress. For some it is much easier than others.

Staci, why don't you go to a hotel? There are events and get-togethers going on all the time all over. Hell, you are in Asheville. I hear that place is pretty liberal. Sounds like you need a getaway.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Staci G

The only way I will be able to dress is after MIL is gone and brother in law isn't anywhere near.

---

Aren't you allowed a couple of hours in a locked room, bedroom or worst-case a bathroom? Or couldn't you go to a nearby motel for an afternoon, or late at night after the others are asleep? I don't understand...

I can sympathise, Staci.

I have a totally disapproving wife who bins anything she happens to find that I inadvertently leave where she can find it. Also, We have a drug-dependent daughter resident, also her two daughters, our granddaughters, one of whom is 10 yrs old & into everything.

My only chance of CD-ing nowadays is to visit my workplace at a weekend where I keep a stash of femme things and no-one is going to disturb me. Not ideal !!

M.

It seems there should be some sort of respite care for CDrs. It's good that you're helping out family, but unreasonable to be a virtual hostage in your own home. Half in jest, I think maybe you should come out! The MIL won't notice and maybe the BIL would leave!

Amanda Yeah Asheville is very liberal however I am known by way too many here for that. I hope to get away for a week in the coming spring. I just wanted to get the things off my chest I have pent up and just get out the things I miss. Everyone's situation is different and I thought the wife was getting closer to accepting but is now grown colder. That's ok too I don't expect to change her and I wont try anymore. Staci will be a part of me and I will be Staci when I can.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GirlieAmanda

Staci, why don't you go to a hotel? There are events and get-togethers going on all the time all over. Hell, you are in Asheville. I hear that place is pretty liberal. Sounds like you need a getaway.

---

My father, who has quite severe dementia, was one of the last people I came out to. I was always concerned that he wouldn't understand, accept, or may even become violent.(he gets mad at things he does not understand)
With some help from my sister, and his private nurse, I finally did. It went very smoothly, and he became very lucid while we sat and discussed my transsexuality. Something deep in the mind of the dementia patient still understands the importance of family, and when the discussion has to become serious.
Since it had become impossible for me to present male any more, I either had to come out, or stop visiting him. He occasionally asks why I'm wearing what I am, and usually misgenders me, but at least we have a relationship.
I hope this even helps a bit about how to deal with Mother-in -law.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I came out to my wife a month ago, she has been very supportive, but we have not time for me to experience dressing. The last time that I really did was like 8 months ago when she was gone. Now that she is accepting it is like I have no time for just me. We need time to be ourselves and it is hard when everything is keeping us from that.