Has anyone else here never dressed secretly?

I never started crossdressing until after age 40. I have always been interested in feminine things, but somehow it never included women's clothes. I used to frequently wear sexy men's underwear, like the stuff you can get at places like Undergear. Some of that gets pretty close to being panties.

When I first started wearing panties, I never hid it from my wife. But, my first panties were similar enough to the men's underwear I had, that she did not immediately realize that they were women's.

When I first tried a bra, I bought a cheap one for less than $5. When I put it on, I immediately showed my wife. She was not that happy about it, but she could see how it made me feel.

The first time I put on makeup, I did lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara, put on a cheap costume wig (all that I had at the time), a nice skirt and blouse, and showed my wife. She said "Oh my god! ... Hey, you look pretty good."

I believe that honesty in a relationship is more important than anything. Maybe I even share too much, but I think that total honesty can never hurt as much as dishonesty.

I am very lucky to have started crossdressing after I got married, and to have the courage to be open about it. It has not been free of problems, but keeping secrets would have been far worse. Of course, my wife wants me to keep it secret from most of our friends, family, and work. I want to tell everyone, because it makes no sense to me to feel shame about being myself. So, I try to be discreet for her sake.

I am wondering if anyone else here has never dressed in secret. I know that I am unusual, but surely there must be others out there that never felt shamed into hiding their desires.

I'm pretty sure everyone here has dressed secretly, aside from a select few such as yourself. Many of us started as kids, so hiding was the first form of dressing. Many of us are still in the closet, some are out to a friend or two, but mainly still in the shadows. You are very lucky to have such an accepting wife, where most of us don't have someone so open in our lives. So the answer to your question is, a few of us have never dressed secretly, but many of us still do.

Well, I can make it two of us Juno. My dressing evolved with my wife at my side the whole way. Every step was with her help and approval. Although the large majority just don't have this option, it does make it easier.

Hiding in secret, at least in the beginning, was the only option for me. My first thoughts of wanting to crossdress start all the way back at age 4, although it wasn't until I was 10 years old I that I started actively CDing. With a very Christian upbringing, I was taught from a very young age that boys are boys, girls are girls, and a man marries a woman, and there is no deviation from that. So of course, I dressed in secret from my parents and family for almost 20 years. I started coming out to my friends and dressing in public as early as 18, and now I don't dress in secret at all. I'm practically full-time, seeking transition and since I now consider myself female, I no longer consider it crossdressing.

Yes, and I lied to my (now ex) wife about it and I said I would stop but I started again in secret.

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Originally Posted by juno

I never started crossdressing until after age 40. I have always been interested in feminine things, but somehow it never included women's clothes. I used to frequently wear sexy men's underwear...

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I went though this stage myself when I was in college and long before I was married. Jockey Elance bikinis (they made these for men long before they entered the womens' underwear market and applied the same name to panties) were my regulars for a few months. At that time I had little understanding of my own CDing.

I can't say that I've *never* dressed secretly, but after I figured out that CDing was a undeniable part of me I started dressing more completely and it has been with the knowledge of my wife. I much prefer it that way.

Well then you two don't know what kind of excitement you missed out on then do you? Lol. If it wasn't "illegal" I don't think I'd be doing it right now!

I dressed "secretly" from nine until 30 yrs. of age. I used to go through the love/hate of cross-dressing urges. Then I told my wife, as I learned to trust her more, I enjoyed dressing more. I moved beyond lingerie and heels and slowly progressed to completely dressing with makeup and wigs too. My wife prefers I dress totally when we play together. Dressing becomes way more meaningful and satisfying when one can share it.

I got married, then divorced, then began SERIOUS CDing!

It just seems to make more sense in THAT ORDER!

My daddy would have killed me if I hadn't hid it. I started dressing at around 6 years old, back in the early 50's, being open about it could have lead to Shock therapy, and years of psychiatric "cures", But I did come out to the wife, but I didn't do it until I needed to start dressing again, after a long absents from it. And yes, telling makes life better, at least it did for me.
Tina B.

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Originally Posted by juno

I used to frequently wear sexy men's underwear, like the stuff you can get at places like Undergear. Some of that gets pretty close to being panties.

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That's how this all started for me. I used to love undergear underwear. That led me to stat shopping at bodyaware, which are marketed as men's underwear, but are mostly panties. I used to steal my wife's panties and wear them. I was surprised at how turned on I got. One day she was going through her underwear drawer and getting rid of some panties that she didn't like the cut of. I "jokingly" told her that I bet I could wear them. She tossed them at me and told me to keep them if I wanted. I was surprised how easily she warmed up to the idea. Now I order most of my stuff form Victoria's Secret and X-dress.com. She said the idea of me in panties doesn't necessarily turn her on, but she loves how turned on I get by it. As she eloquently put it, "The wrapping paper doesn't change how much you want the gift inside."

I recently told her my ambition to dress completely. She told me that she needed some time with the idea. Until then, I'll just have to use my time at home alone to my advantage, getting by on what little I have to wear. Hopefully, she'll warm up to the idea.

I think almost all of us did at first. Like you I started late in life. For me in my 60's and your story line is similar to mine and like many here Halloween was my first open exposure. Haveing the courage to be open and honest with your wife shows strength in yourself and commitment to your marriage and also shows her acceptance of you. Give her the time she needs and it will get better and better.