not liking drab photos

all my life i have always hated having my photo taken ,but i love dressing up and photographing myself as pernille .Its like 2 compleatly different sides of a coin as the other day i saw photos of myself and the first time in my life i really did not like what i saw i thought i looked silly,ugly and stupid in drab.but i never get that feeling when i see my pernille pictures .

My crossdressing has taken quite a hold of my life but i dont want to transition to a woman . or feel like i should be a woman i just enjoy the dressing up. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? does this mean subconciously i look at myself as being more woman than man as i dont think about it , or do i just look better dressed as a woman ,or is it leading to some thing .

does anyone else feel like this or has felt like this and does it lead anywhere as my crossdressing is expanding to involve more and more of my life , so where will it stop .

A lot of things going on in this post. Like you, I have never really cared to see myself in drab...but then, I don't really enjoy seeing pictures of myself en femme either. I still have some lingering demons and self doubts.

The latter part of your post asks What does this mean. Clearly, each of us is a unique individual and dressing means something a little different to each of us. I don't see cross dressing as a single line with people scattered along that line. I rather see it as a multi-dimensional spectrum of gender identity reflecting various factors, including genetic predisposition, inutero developmental influences, early child hood expereinces, learning, interpersonal relationships and maybe personal aethetics. So who we individually are may be represented by some point in this hypothetical universe that is different to some degree from anyone else.

We don't all have to need to be women. We may just enjoy looking the way we look, as you describe it. It could be an obssession or a hobby or both. As to where it will stop, who knows. So long as you're acting of your own free will, that is up to you.

I'm not a fan of being in front of the camera in drab but I do like taking pics when I'm dressed up. BUT... I end up pretty unhappy with 99% of Anna's pics anyway. So I am not sure why I like taking them...

I've never photographed myself en femme... the results would probably put an end to my crossdressing forever!!!!!
I don't particularly like seeing photos of myself in drab; somehow my self image is better looking than the reality

I can relate. I'm always the one behind the camera at family events, assignments, etc. Never a shot of me. Even when I dress, as I am at the moment, I fail to set up and take a shot of myself. I know my two looks are totally different, but chooseing between the two I would take my female look over my male one and for my age I know I'm not that bad looking either way.

Another here that likes fem pics but not drab. For me, it's because I'm so awkward as a man, or at least feel that way. It translates into photos. If I'm not posing then I stand a better chance. In female mode I'm me, happy and can pose no problem.

I have always disliked pictures of myself in drab. How much I like my girl pictures depends on the influence of the pink fog... Without the fog, I just see drab-me in a skirt. When the fog is present, though, I see a pretty girl. So I only look at my girl pictures when they look good to me!

As I'm practically full-time, opportunities in which I might be photographed in drab are rare. And even then, I still dress effeminately in women's pants, tops, shoes and light make-up, so its like a femme picture, just without breast forms. The only shots I can't stand being in or seeing anymore are family photos. Because although I am out to most of my family, its only been a few months since I dropped the bomb and its still too soon to really introduce myself as Anna. So I attend family functions as gender neutral as possible, while still appearing slightly male, which considering I now consider myself female, irks me to no end.

I would take a simple view on this Pernille.
Rather than worry too much I would just enjoy your girly side as I do.
Some see it as a problem but I see it as a gift. An extra side to our lives.


SUZY

Hi Pernille,

I always take a bad photo in drab. It is really hard work to get a good shot of me! So, whilst i would love to see a good photo of me in drab, it rarely happens, so it is not something I relish! I have also been the one behind the camera taking the shots of the family growing up... so again, never in the frame! I do a bit better in Kaz mode though and enjoy seeing this side of me. I don't want to transition either, although I have tremendous fantasies about 'being' a woman.

I live with my SO, who knows about my CDing but doesn't accept it as part of our life together, but soon all the chicks will be gone from the nest and I do wonder what I would do if I lived on my own... I suspect that Kaz might take over!

I look like a total dork when in drab, and HATE my photo to be taken. I prefer to be in pictures enfemme.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kaz

Hi Pernille,

I always take a bad photo in drab. It is really hard work to get a good shot of me! So, whilst i would love to see a good photo of me in drab, it rarely happens, so it is not something I relish! I have also been the one behind the camera taking the shots of the family growing up... so again, never in the frame! I do a bit better in Kaz mode though and enjoy seeing this side of me. I don't want to transition either, although I have tremendous fantasies about 'being' a woman.


I live with my SO, who knows about my CDing but doesn't accept it as part of our life together, but soon all the chicks will be gone from the nest and I do wonder what I would do if I lived on my own... I suspect that Kaz might take over!

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I can talk from experience here. Kaz will take over!
You have been warned.


SUZY.

Hi Pernille... without wanting to sound insincere about your worries, I find that those are, dare I say, nice problems...:daydreaming:

The only real problem I can read into your OP is a sense of "guilt"... perhaps towards your family... or indeed towards yourself?
Are you feeling guilty for not CDing even more, as it does so much good for you?

As regards photos, I take mostly a good picture in drab without having to worry about posing...
as a performer, I'm also quite used to it.
I tend to be much more aware while CDed... and therefore I've become extremely slow at taking pictures of myself.

The feel factor is dominating the appearance factor at the moment.
Especially when I'm logged on the forum and/or alone at home.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pernille d

... and does it lead anywhere as my crossdressing is expanding to involve more and more of my life , so where will it stop .

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CDing and how I and/or my environment reacts changes from day to day...
generally I can say that it takes up more of my time now than say a year ago.
And I feel happier for it.
This development has a "natural" feel to it.
I feel like I'm just doing something I should have been doing much more in the past.

At the moment I'm enjoying a phase where I speak about it to a number of GGs with whom I'm really close.
I find it's a great topic of conversation and it's leading to a new level of bonding.
That compliments being part of the forum which is very, very important for me.

I'm just taking CDing as it comes...
I wish the rest of "life" and "living" were as uncomplicated!!!

:hugs:and all the best to you.
I hope all the right answers to your questions will simply present themselves at the right time.
:love:Gaby

I don't care if someone takes my photo... After all its not for me to look at its for them to and remember what we were doing at the time and the good times we were having.... Especially after I'm gone.

I've always disliked my male pics! :sad:

When I began dressing at age 50+, I disliked my image in the mirror so much I almost quit dressing before I got seriously into it! :doh:
I have NO PICS of my, "old man in a dress", days!

Then, I tried on a mask! I liked what I saw!:) And, Sherry was born!

I must have a million pics of her by now!:D

Never had a problem with my male pics -- but I really like my femm pics, unless I glimps a little too much hulkyness leaking out :sad::doh::devil:

for me, pics in drab are OK, but it is way funnier posing like a girl. I think that i have 10 times more pics of the girl than the boy. And she has only been here for a couple of years :)

I too hate my pics as a guy, but when I am all dressed up, it is like I am in a fashion show. Totally erotic at that. I do get funny looks when shopping for lingerie or dresses (especially living in Idaho). But am getting used to it.

Look at the pictures in the Picture-Video Forum - Guy vs Girl Mode. Every female picture is a happier picture than the make picture. Just about every one. Happier pictures are usually always better than not happy pictures.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by heatherdress

Look at the pictures in the Picture-Vidoe Forum - Guy vs Girl Mode. Every female picture is a happier picture than the make picture. Just about every one. Happier pictures are usually always better than not happy pictures.

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I have often thought that, and that's whst I think as I think is that how I really look a sad person, I don't get that feeling when I see pernilles photos , I normally think it's a shame I am semi in the cosset and I can't share/show myself with the world ,