Take my female friend out with SO to club?

Not long ago when I was talking to my SO she brought up my CD'ing. A friend of mine who is a best friend (female) of mine, befriended my SO. These two are like Bobsee Twins. They get along well, talk for hours, and hang out often. More than I get to hang with her. I'm not tripping at all. Anyhow, I had brought up the subject on my crossdressing and why she was so into me going out dressed in public. Well turns out, my bestie has been informed by my SO a while back that I crossdress. No big deal. I don't care if she knows. My SO and my bestie were talking the other day. My friend told my SO that she has the best of both worlds. A man who provides, and a CD'er who shops for clothes, does not complain, has a feminine side, loves you, and is not some lunatic. My SO told my friend that she wanted to come with us to a club. My SO told her it may not be a good idea because out of respect for me, it was just a me and my SO excursion.

Now I know my friend Angela would never do anything to make me feel uncomfortable and she has never judged me. So I'm thinking she should go with us. It's another female, and she is my best friend. Thoughts, ideas??

Nice predicament that you gotten yourself into this time! Was that from Laurel and Hardy? Anyway. I would defer to your SO and let her decide with no pressure from you. My sometimes working antennae tell me that maybe your best GG friend may have read something into her relationship with you and with your SO and using her feminine intuition thinks that it would better if she did not participate. I would respect her choice and not raise an issue. If your wife for whatever reason insists that she come, then she can convince your friend. I do not think it would be a good idea if you did. Good luck and let us know what transpires later. Thanks for sharing and asking.

If your SO is OK with it then why not? If she is not OK with it - don't

Remember the old saying, Phoebe? "Two's company, three's a crowd?"
In most social situations that be the case in my experience! Unless u r all 3 very mature, considerate, and NOT overly needy, I suggest, "No"!

I think it's terrific that you are having this discussion. I would tend, in general, to be very much influenced by my SO's thoughts. There may be some ideas in your SOs mind that she can't quite articulate, so unless you see some very negative problems, I'd give you SOs decision a try. It doesn't have to be repeated if you aren't comfortable the first time.

tina

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Remember the old saying, Phoebe? "Two's company, three's a crowd?"
In most social situations that be the case in my experience! Unless u r all 3 very mature, considerate, and NOT overly needy, I suggest, "No"!

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Works great for me, but I have a long history of multi-partnered (poly) relationships, and not all of those were sexual. In many we were just 3 or 4 people who were really close and comfortable around each other. Of course making that work takes a lot of understanding and compromise.

I think your decision depends upon how you interact with your SO when you go out with her dressed. When you are dressed is your relationship with her simply one of being a friend or is it deeper than that? If she's a friend then there is no reason that you two friends cannot invite a mutual friend along for the fun. If your relationship while dressed runs deeper then the "threes a crowd" rule might apply.

Ask your SO, if she really does believe that saying no to your bestie is out of respect for you and if she thinks that you want to keep the CDing private from your friends. If you don't mind your bestie knowing, then you should tell your SO this and also that you'd be OK with all three of you going to the club, IF and ONLY IF your SO is OK with this.

But, if your SO said no to the bestie because SHE is the one who wants to keep the dressing just between the two of you right now, then I'd follow Allie's advice and defer to your SO's wishes, but do ask her to share with you why she might prefer to keep the bestie out of it. This way, you can discuss any issues that your SO might have.

I just sounds like your SO thinks you are a bit shy with the whole thing and doesn't want you to feel conspicuous. The other thing to consider is your wife and friend have a thing going that works and you might change the dynamics. Maybe, if you want to join them, make it another 'event' so you are not intruding on their girl's night or make sure they understand it is just one night, not a regular thing. Sometimes you need space to vent with your friends.

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Originally Posted by CDPheobe

My SO told my friend that she wanted to come with us to a club. My SO told her it may not be a good idea because out of respect for me, it was just a me and my SO excursion.

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I got lost here with the OP.

Sounded like your So ask your friend to go, but then said it wasn't a good idea.

But if it was your friend who suggested she not go, then you'll need to talk to your friend. Maybe she's not ready to be seen with you enfemme.

If it was your wife who suggested your friend not come, then it simply means that she wants that time to be for you two only. If your friend hasn't seen you enfemme, maybe your wife isn't ready for her to. Knowing her (your) friend knows is a little different than knowing what her friend has seen.

If your friend hasn't seen you enfemme, maybe some time together at home with all three of you would be best before heading out somewhere together. Something to talk with your wife about.

I'd let your SO and friend work this out between the two of them. All you need to do is say that you're ok with it either way.

My bestie knows I CD. She knows all about me. It's just that I have never been out in public at all aside from my SO seeing me. My SO was thinking of my best interests and not having my bestie go with us. Ultimately, it's my choice if she comes along or not. To me, if i had 10 females coming with me I would not mind at all. Even if it is just my SO and me alone, that will work as well. Maybe that will clear up the air. But I am thinking it wouldn't hurt if my bestie came along. If my SO is at the point where it does not bother her who sees me dresses en fem, then why should I mind, right? I value and cherish all who gave their input. My bestie is someone who does not have a mouth that runs. I really have no worries. Just waiting for that magical day

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Originally Posted by Alice B

If your SO is OK with it then why not? If she is not OK with it - don't

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I agree with Alice 100%

You can inform her you don't mind if others come with you.

Sounds like a deep and meaningful discussion with your SO? Explore boundaries!