Sex and crossdressing urges

I do not know if it is only me, or if it happens to some of you too.
I realized that in my personal case, when I have a period of regular sex activity with my wife, my urges to crossdress diminish dramatically. On the other hand, when there are periods of abstinence, I cannot stop thinking about wearing Tamara’s outfits.

I believe that crossdressing is somehow helping me not only to make me feel myself as Tamara, but also to channel my sexual urges and frustrations

Penny for your thoughts

Tamara

I've seen that mentioned here many times on this site. Seems quite common.

Hate to keep beating this drum, but check out www.crossdreamers.com for some insight into this.

You're not alone, after sexual activities, CD urge drops.

I with you 100%. My SO has lost all interest in sex (menopause...ugh!). With a very decreased sex life, my urges to dress are stronger than ever. Sometimes I think I'm trying to be my own idea of the perfect woman. I have no desire at all to be with a man, but I would love some bedroom playtime fully dressed as a woman...my ultimate fantasy is to have a beautiful woman dress me up, do a makeover on me, paint my toes, and then roll around on the floor for a while...alas it will never happen in my lifetime.

Its called the refractory period. Its due i think to a rush of hormones following orgasm. The urge to dress will return once hormonal balance returns.

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Originally Posted by prettytoes

...my ultimate fantasy is to have a beautiful woman dress me up, do a makeover on me, paint my toes, and then roll around on the floor for a while...alas it will never happen in my lifetime.

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Pretty toes,
I have actually been able to fulfill that fantasy. It was the most amazing 3 months I have ever had. She was fantastic and made me look the sexiest I ever have. Those women are out there. Maybe one day for you!!

I don't know if you read one of my past threads, but my wife is very curious and interested with my dressing. She tried to increase our sex and wanted to see how I would react to this.
She did it for two weeks and when she told me what she was doing the results were that my dressing did cut down. I was going for at least one to two drives every week, and in that period I did not go even once.
Some opportunity did come for me to dress during that period and I didn't and I wasn't as moody or frustrating as usual. But her biggest finding was that I did underdress wearing panties and pantyhose everyday during that period.
She believes the more horny I am the more I want to dress and go for drives and even take more chances and be more aggressive with it.
Well you can take my wife's study and try to figure it out or you can ask your wife for more sex and do your own study. Sounds like a win, win situation to me.Lol

I know even at my old age the more physical sex that takes place the less I want to dress. I do though love having sex when my wife is dressed to the top with her makeup and skirts as short and sexy as I enjoy wearing. Even better when we both are dressed. After one of those type of episodes I feel like I don't need to dress as often.
I've always thought that dressing somehow is tied to the male levels of testosterone.
I know my levels have dropped with my age and the dressing has been increasing so guess my theory has a flaw somewhere...

What? No one wants to address the elephant in the room?:eek:

The question is: Do u satisfy yourself when u dress?:D
If not, how does dressing reduce your horneyness?

I often do that after a shoot. When it's just me and Sherry with no distractions!:o

Tamara,
I guess my drive has always been on the excessive side , so no real correlation between the two, maybe it's the AGP issue that's the problem. Accepting the change of life in my wife has made the issue more of a problem and at times an annoying distraction but if you are still a fully functioning male there isn't a choice .

Just the opposite for me, but then dressing is more of a fetish so sexual gratification is usually included. My wife and I often dress in some naughty bits and spend some quality time together!

Prettytoes- 100% understand. Zero sex life with my wife for 7 years now. My dressing urges are stronger now than before. And taking trips to San Francisco have taken those urges higher since I have been able to dress while I am out there. My checked luggage is typically all crossdressing clothes. Plus giving me room to bring back more clothes from my shopping. So glad to have this forum to talk with others.

The urge to CD for me has always ebbed and flowed according to some kind of monthly cycle. Within that cycle I have times of intense desire to dress and at other times little desire. Sex related activity with the wife does affect this cycle also. One thing I have noticed about myself is that the more sex I have, the more I want, it's like it gets ramped up more with increased activity. With an increase in age foreplay time increased, it is similar with dressing, I can dress for two to three days before something busts loose, which suits me fine. I agree with most of the comments so far, how others have felt and reacted to their particular situations.

In the early days, almost all of the clothes had strong sexual feelings to them, and over the years many of the items with those feelings have changed, mostly through personal decisions and choices. A couple of thoughts come to mind. 1. as a young person after the deed was done, I couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough, now I usually stay dressed in most if not all of the clothes when it does happen. This was actually a bigger test for me, than some may realise. 2. Because I underdress all of the time now, those items have mostly lost much of there sexual appeal interest, which suits me fine. That was the biggest reason why I started to underdress, it was to remove the sex feelings from my mind regarding panties. I enjoyed wearing them and didn't want anything to interfere with that side of the enjoyment. Has it totally worked, no, but 90% success is better than nothing.

Cd'ing and sex were intertwined from the start for me, and I have been working at unraveling the two for many years. Will I ever be able to totally separate the two? I don't know, but it has gotten easier as I have worked on it and gotten older. I want to be in control of my dressing, not it in control of me!

My personal, non-scientific theory is that some folks require the impetus of sexual energy to push them over the self-imposed barrier to crossdressing. (Gosh knows that guys do some pretty strange stuff, when the little head is doing the thinking.) So, yeah, it would make total sense to me that if you were in a period of sexual gratification you wouldn't be able to summon the energy to cross that barrier and dress. Early on, I thought my dressing was sexually motivated but over time I found out that the two weren't linked which is why I came up with the idea that maybe I was using that energy to push past my denial. I tested it by "forcing" myself to dress with sex not being an option and found that it quickly became its own reward. I'm not saying that what's true for me is true for you, but just saying that what you say makes sense to me.

I think u make great points, Pat. I don't have an SO to consider when dressing. Which changes EVERYTHING!:D

When I first began, as a closet dresser for 10 years, I had sex every time I dressed.:o

But then, I came out here and began meeting other dressers at T events across the country and locally. And, while prepping for these events and when at them I can honestly say sex never enters my mind!:eek:
And, some of these events r a week long!

Oh! And, I really like your new avatar!:battingeyelashes:

I am glad I found this thread. I too have ebb and flow desires to dress and there are times when the urge is much stronger than other times, almost a cycle thing. Nice to know others have the same feelings. Currently I am a closet crossdresser with guilt feelings about these urges to dress and explore my sexual urges more fully.

Posted on wrong thread

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

What? No one wants to address the elephant in the room?:eek:

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My, that's a big one! haha

I found that sex didn't make me not want to put my skirt back on but did make me feel more guilty about wanting to or putting it back on anyways afterwards. The sexual component has faded over time although I am not sure if it's due to being more a regular part of my life, the fact that my testosterone level is super low on it's own or a combination of them.

I am a no vote on this one.. there is absolutely no correlation between my sex life and my need to dress. Both can be active at the same time or not.