Interesting trip to the ladies room

While out shopping this past weekend I had the urge and made the trek to the restrooms. Of course there is always a line as I waited my turn and finally made it to the front a stall door opened and a lady walked out holding her clothes up on her chest. She was wearing a one piece romper that zipped up the back. When she went to get dressed after taking care of business her zipper stuck. She couldn't get it up or down. She walked up to me and asked me to help with it. Surprisingly I didn't freak out but when she turned around I discovered the issue and resolved it. She thanked me and I went to the vacated stall. That's when I freaked out. Not sure why but my heart was racing and I was a bundle of nerves. I finished up after washing and drying my hands I went back to shopping. Saw her again as I was leaving and she waved and smiled. Good day shopping and another new experience.

That a GG would see you as not just nonthreatening but as someone who could help them when they are in a vulnerable position is kinda the ultimate compliment isn't it?

Here's my story.

I had been going out about 6 months but had never used the ladies room, because everywhere I had been had unisex/family restrooms with a lockable door.

I was at a Nordstrom and needed to use the restroom, and no unisex option. Screwed up my courage and went in. Nobody in. So far, so good.

Take care of business. Walk out of stall. A woman walks out of the stall to my right. Ok, just wash your hands and act normal.

Except the woman says, "that's a beautiful dress" (true).

Not what I was expecting to hear. I told her thanks and that I bought it at Nordstrom.

Since then, I always look for unisex loos but I'm ok with using the ladies with all of the other ladies.

I have to laugh when I read about politicians who oppose gender neutral bathrooms. Now I think that I do a relatively good job of passing; however I still feel nervous using the ladies room. I'm assuming most of us have that same feeling.

Why would you laugh? They are doing what they think their constituents want. A large segment of the public believes men and women should have separate restrooms and that women should expect to find only other women in the women's restrooms. That's not an opinion, it's reality.

I would like to see a requirement for individual, unisex restrooms in all renovations and new construction. That would solve the issue without hurting anyone's feelings.

I totally agree with Krisi. I would guess that most women (as in more than half) would be at least a bit uncomfortable if they knew the person who just walked in the next stall was a man in a dress. They have a right to their comfort and privacy just like we do. After being taught all their lives that ladies rooms are for ladies it is natural for them to be uncomfortable when a man invades their space. Additionally, and unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps in the world. I once worked with a guy that got fired for being caught while peeking under the partitions in the ladies room in the factory. That being said, if I am if I am dressed and in urgent need, I would use the ladies room if there were no others options. The men's room is just too risky for a MIAD

The woman saw what you were presenting as. That is as it should be You passed Congratulations. She had other things on her mind and was not concerned about who was helping her.

I would certainly consider that the ultimate compliment.

And ladies, do be careful, this thread could very easily turn into a political rant. Let's stick to supporting Rachel in her moment.

OMG, I sound like a moderator... LOL

I had a similar incident. I was going into the dressing room to try on some clothes and one of the doors was unlocked but when I pushed it to go into the changing room there was a lady half naked still in there... we exchanged uncomfortable glances and I immediately backed out. Later when we saw each other in the store we shared a little laugh... No harm no foul

I must apologize. I did not mean my comment to seen as a political rant. I clearly did not articulate my position. Of course I respect differing opinions on this issue. My point, badly stated, was that people do not understand how nervous many of us get when we use the ladies room. When I dress fully I have to use the women's restroom.

Yes, if we are presenting as a female and there are no other practical choices, we must use the woman's restroom. For those who clearly don't "pass", this presents a real problem.

The entire issue could be easily settled by single user, unisex restrooms.

Every trip to the restroom is an adventure for me. So far, no experiences like yours. I go in, go, wash my hands and leave...while I?m tempted, no primping or conversations. I do admit to a slight sense of excitement.

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Originally Posted by BethanyCross

I totally agree with Krisi. I would guess that most women (as in more than half) would be at least a bit uncomfortable if they knew the person who just walked in the next stall was a man in a dress. They have a right to their comfort and privacy just like we do. After being taught all their lives that ladies rooms are for ladies it is natural for them to be uncomfortable when a man invades their space. Additionally, and unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps in the world.

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Stop. Just stop it - perpetuating the fear-mongering stereotype that transgender people are some kind of threat. They're not. Never have been. No... never, as in there has never been a single successful prosecution of any transgender person in some "bathroom crime".
And FWIW, in my experience, most women by far don't react negatively to my presence in the ladies' room. That's because I am not "a man in the ladies' room".

The last few months of work before I retired I started to go to work as a female, management had no problem with it and most other employees didn't either, though if I saw someone that I had known for years but hadn't seen for a long time I would be very nervous but when they saw me they greeted me as if nothing had changed which I felt so good about and relieved. Since I hadn't made it official with management that I was now Transgender female I wasn't game to use the ladies restrooms as I know some of the ladies would have complained to management about it so I would just use the men's, then one day I get told that some of the male employees would feel threatened if they walked into the men's and found me in there. I'm damned if I know what they thought I was going to do to them.

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Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly

Stop. Just stop it - perpetuating the fear-mongering stereotype that transgender people are some kind of threat. They're not. Never have been. No... never, as in there has never been a single successful prosecution of any transgender person in some "bathroom crime".
And FWIW, in my experience, most women by far don't react negatively to my presence in the ladies' room. That's because I am not "a man in the ladies' room".

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Nobody is claiming that transgender people are a threat. Nobody is "fear mongering".

Normal, everyday women have been raised and conditioned to expect only other female in their restrooms, locker rooms and such. They don't know the difference between a "transsexual" and a pervert who may be going into the ladies restroom to spy on them or even harm them. They expect privacy. As for your experience, you don't really know what these women are thinking.

If you look, act and sound like a woman, that's fine. Most of us don't and should do our best to accommodate them and use single occupancy or "family" restrooms if at all possible.

Women are much less concerned about Tgirls in the ladies room than politicians are. Yes, it has somehow become a wedge issue used to stir up fear and resentment in order to decide elections. But in the real world, a male does not dress in female clothes in order to gain access to the ladies room and commit sex offenses. Real women can sense when a person poses a real threat. Crossdressers are not a threat in that way.

I am a MIAD, not a transwomen, but my experience has been that I am generally accepted as one of the girls when I am wearing a dress. No, I don't use the ladies washroom, but I do use the dress shop fitting rooms and I am always included in the type of ladies-only conversations that men are never privy to, about clothes, shoes and even more intimate subjects like bikini waxing. Although I am unmistakably a man, and a large one at that, the vibe I give is evidently feminine and not one of toxic masculinity. I believe very strongly that this is the case for most of the members here that are able to get out into the world and interact with real women

Yes bathroom trips while dressed can be very nerve racking. I have only gone in once, and I think it was one of the fastest bathroom trips I ever had with how nervous I was. I feel I did a good job of hiding it though and none of the women I seen in there even seemed to notice me at all. You just have to take a deep breath and try not to look like you don't belong.

I also agree with everyone else here, the politicians in some areas try to use their famous scare tactics routine to try suppress anything that goes against 'the norm'. I have never read of a case of anyone going through all the effort to cross dress, just to try and sexually assault a woman in the bathroom. It's just made up political mumbo jumbo.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

They don't know the difference between a "transsexual" and a pervert...

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Actually, most of them do know the difference, as the OP's story bears out. This "threat" is one made up out of whole cloth, by those with an agenda entirely apart from "keeping our women safe".

Let's be clear, I don't "sound like a woman." We can debate how much I look like one, but I comport myself like a lady. In the ladies', I might get a sidelong glance now and then, but no one has ever recoiled in fear and run screaming from the room. No, not even when I've spoken. Through my behavior, I make it clear that I am there for the same reason they are.

In keeping with 2020's theme I have had an unusual year crossdressing. Strangers stopping to compliment my outfit, the lady I mentioned in my original post, sales clerks being really helpful. At a Lane Bryant I went in later in the evening and the place was deserted. They treated me great and suggested many beautiful dresses and outfits. I was there past closing time trying on everything they suggested. Got to be a competition who could pick out the cutest outfit and I was their model. Defiantly been a crazy year.

The anxiety makes a lot of sense. Glad it went well!