Transitioned at work

I have been living myself full time away from work for a few months, and have been making excuses for why I can not go ahead and transition at work. My direct supervisor (who also happens to be my roommate), as well as the department manager, one of the store managers, and several of my co-workers have known that I am Transgender and had plans to transition. I was finally to the point that I was working towards transitioning at work around the end of this month.

As fate would have it, they scheduled a mandatory department meeting this past Friday, which was my day off. I have a lunch time recovery group on Fridays, and I attend this meeting as me, as I am transitioned outside of work. This meeting is over at 1:30, and the work meeting was scheduled for 2:00. There was no way I was going to get home, take off my makeup, change clothes and make it back to work in 30 minutes. I told my department manager, and the store manager that I would be attending the meeting presenting as female, and that moving forward, my gender presentation at work would reflect my identity, and I would be using my preferred name (I have had a new name tag for a couple of weeks). They were in agreement and said they would do any thing they could to help me.

I went to the meeting, and of course there were some questions from other co-workers, but nothing negative was said. Everyone was very supportive, even the ones I was worried about based on their religious beliefs. Saturday and Sunday I went to work presenting as myself. Again, there were questions from other people that work in the store, as well as from my regular customers that I assist every weekend. And again, everyone was very supportive. I don't think that I am that passable, and it's obvious that I am Trans (and everyone I deal with pretty much knew me as 'male'), but I was treated with respect, and as the woman I know myself to be. One of my regular customers said that he did not know that 'E' (leaving out the full dead name) had a twin sister that worked in the store. As I said, it is quite obvious that I am a Trans Woman, but just that little act from this customer made my day.

I'm starting to ramble at this point, but let me finish with this. I am one that tends to really over complicate things as a result of my substance abuse issues, and other things, but I am proof that fears and anxiety can be overcome. I have found that as long as I am not acting in a way that is going to draw negative attention to myself, people are very accepting of me. I just carry my self in a way that shows that I am confident in who I am, and that I belong where I am. As long as I do that, it seems that people pay very little attention to me. When I am working directly with a customer, as long as I keep that confidence, and do my job to the best of my ability, they don't seem to care.

I guess the take away is be confident in yourself, don't rush things, but also don't over complicate things either. Just be you and you got this.

I'm sure that the store manager talked with her at some point. Whether that helped pave the way or not, I can't say. I do work for a large corporation, and they have very strict don-discrimination policies. There are several gay and lesbian employees at my location. Everyone had told me that I would not have any issues with transitioning in my current position, and there is a Trans Man that occasionally fills in at our store. But in my case, my mind told me that I would be a special case, and the worst was going to happen. My alcoholic mind likes to twist things to make me into a special case, or into a victim. I think some of my anxiety was warranted, but not to the extent that I had made it.

MiraM,
I totally agree with you .

Be comfortable in yourself the confidence then just flows , people do pick up on that .

I had a similar debate about meeting my painting group and eventually rejoining as Teresa , it's now expected of me to return in September . The great bonus for me is one of the group and her friend who I'd never met before asked for my contact details so I could join them for a day out shopping .

Great news! So glad it worked out so well for you! Hugs Lana Mae

Hi MiraM,

That is great news! May you have much less anxiety working as woman at work.

Marion

Mira, I really admire you for deciding to live life fully. I find all sorts of excuses to not fully transition. I think I need to focus on what I want and not what everybody else wants.

My wife is a therapist and frequently reminds me of a Mark Twain quote: "Some of the worst things in my life never even happened." It is so true! I have come out to a number of friends and have been supported so well. It certainly is a different world from the world I grew up in!

Hi Mira :hugs:, That sounds like the lonely caterpillar emerging as the beautiful Butterfly.

It is fantastic that you have received the respect that you deserve. >Orchid .oO:daydreaming:Oo.