Pushing the envelope

Warning long post...Have just returned from another successful and (terf free) Sparkle weekend in Manchester with my dear friends.This year we decided that we would venture out in amongst the muggles.

Apart from our shopping trip which included a visit to a local wig salon (where we each got new hair) We thought this year let's push the envelope and just pop into local establishments,such as Starbucks for a coffee or somewhere for a bite to eat.We decided to visit a cpl of restaurants in the city centre far away from our comfort zone,and to be honest we ended up thinking why the hell had we never done this before,in every place we visited we were met with complete professionalism and a welcoming smile,the other diners barely glanced in our direction,we were just diners enjoying great food

After pushing the envelope so far I decided to rip it into a million pieces.I travelled home dressed and we stopped off at a very busy Service Station (brit gals may be aware of Tenbay services) And with the good nature and support of my friends I decided to hell with it,Im going in.Again I needn't have worried I recieved absolutely no negativity whatsoever,in fact I'll be damned if no one even noticed.We sat outside and had a bite to eat.

I've had cause to reflect on all this,and I've come to the conclusion that a lot of worry is in our heads,as long as we are sensible there's no reason we can't be out and visible in the community

At services
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I didn't get to go to Sparkle but I did spend an hour in Manchester city center dressed a few weeks ago. It passed entirely without incident, as far as I could tell no one batted an eyelid. Fortunately Manchester is a very good place for anyone under the LGBT(ect) umbrella,(if you go to the right places) as I'm sure are many other places in the UK.

T-girl you are so right as you said in your last sentence. Just dress to blend and everything will go fine. When out we are constantly looking at the people we pass buy to see their reaction, if they clocked us and even turn our heads after passing them to see if they are taking a second look. And to our surprise they aren't looking back but we are fearful they are, if so we are afraid and want to leave quickly. On the other hand as I have been going out fully dressed no one notices, I dress to look nice and blend and it feels so good to feel how nice the clothes feel on, walking as a girl and the satisfaction of being out dressed as a woman and going about in public.

Sophie,

Glad you are getting out and rocking it. It's not just the sense of getting out. It's the sense of liberation too; of letting Sophie run free in the world. Traveling en femme, either by land or air, is always enjoyable. I just made a long, long car trip (2000 miles), and also traveled by air fully dressed. It was affirming and fun.
You're correct that most of the world doesn't give a rip. It's a simple feat to go out en femme even if you blend and only marginally pass. Have no fear. Often our worst enemy is our own fear.
You look great, BTW. And congratulations for being able to drive on the opposite side of the road without signaling for a turn with your windshield wipers.

I love threads like this where members come to the realization that the world dosen't care how you dress.
Act normal and you will be treated just like anyone else.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by t-girlxsophie

I've had cause to reflect on all this,and I've come to the conclusion that a lot of worry is in our heads,as long as we are sensible there's no reason we can't be out and visible in the community

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I think these days that's correct. What's in the heads of (older) trans folk is echoes of the time when it really was much more dangerous to mix with the general public. They've been scared so long and so deeply that they don't know it's OK until they take a little trip out and are amazed to find that they weren't assaulted. Let's hope it keeps getting better. ;)

A good story and you are right Sophie, just about everyone takes no or very little notice of those around them.

I have never been to Sparkles but I have enjoyed the freedom and acceptance of the Canal Quarter in Manchester. One of the best places for LGBT folks. If any of the members of this site are going to the UK, I strongly recommend a visit to Manchester.

Exactly right Pat what a fantastic post !!!

Sophie,
Some driving offences in the UK are reported as , " Driving without due care and attention !" Well if we don't break the Cders code of , " Dressing without due care and attention ! " We should be fine , well at least that's what I'm finding is true .

You are so right the fears are mainly false ones that just go round in our heads , my problem and possibly that of others is the damage done from unaccepting partners , it's a form of brainwashing which takes time to if ever to fade away , it's still early days for me but I've not had a single problem . Just today I dressed and went into town to return some parcels at the Post Office, then onto Boots to buy a powder compact , called in at Specsavers to double check if they minded me attending the eye appontment dressed and also if their special deal can be used for a pair of male and a pair of female glasses. I then called in at Matalan amd bought a lovely dress in their sale , and finally did my supermarket shopping . I had some lunch at home and then tried Sainsbury's for some items I'd forgotten and popped into B&Q to buy some coat hooks . This is now a normal day out dressed , I'm not looking for double takes and don't appear to get them .

So now youv'e torn the envelope up , where to now ? I'm so glad you had a great time , I know it's not so easy on home turf , I've had a huge stack up with my wife over talking to mutual friends , so now she doesn't want to see me or talk to me , I felt it had to happen, it was inevitable because she was still trying to lay down rules .

Hi Sophie
Just own the space you are in, if you act like normal people will see you as a normal confident women.
In one of mine local Costa i've only have to walk up to the counter they know that i want a small latte,
but it does not matter which ever shop, supermarket or coffee shop no body is worry about you are
wearing they want your custom, but when i walk in Costa in drab :its what would you like sir:.

Carolyn

You are right in that very few care really about wether we dress or not. Most are only caught up in their own little worlds and care less about ant one else.

Going out in public for well-presented CDs is not really a problem anymore. I've been doing it for over15 years now. Yes, there are lots of incidents in certain locations and places, but overall, it most gals I know or have talked to have no problems. People really don't care. You can read some of the more interesting out and about stories here https://www.sisterhouse.net/memberssuite/

Sophie,

I've been to Manchester enfemme a number of times but never made it to Sparkle. I'd love to do that one day.

As for going into muggle land, I've spent an afternoon shopping at the Trafford centre and as you say, no-one bats an eyelid. The only downside was I wore 2" heels and at the end my feet were starting to ache!

I am planning to return to Manchester later in the year and part of my plans is a visit to a wig shop. Can I ask which one you visited?

Helen,My friends and I went to Trendco in Lloyd Street.Rachel the manageress who attended to us was very professional and spend time on each of us to find the style that suited, nothing was too much bother.Hope you can manage along it's a great experience
https://www.trendco.co.uk/salon-find...dco-manchester

Love this post, because I want to do the same thing!

Based on your pictures I can't imagine anyone questioning.

Hi Sophie :hugs:, You surely do push envelopes nicely, You look fantastic. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

Hi Sophie


Congratulations on having a great time. Its good to hear you enjoyed your time at sparkle.
The muggles of Manchester have seen it all.
No one really notices us anymore no mater where we go.

The genie is out of the bottle, go have fun :D

It's a wide world and there is much to enjoy being out and about. Enjoy!

There is nothing quite like pushing the envelope.
:)