forgive me.........

forgive me I am a very judgemental person - I look and observe evreyone, man, woman, and child and pass judgement on how they look and what they wear - not that I hold it against them, it's just a thing (bad habit) I do. Today I am at my usual morning coffee spot and I observe a very tall lady,natural hair dressed nicely in boots jeans sweater,nails done with thin but very manly features -- and immediately recognize a sister --now it's easy to judge someone by there appearence but as I mulled over her presentation my judgemental observations stopped - after all she looked nice and she was in no way outstanding other than being on the tall side and I have appeared in this same eatablishment enfemm my self :thinking: humm... I wonder er no not me I am beautiful and will not look in the mirror at my judgemental self - I have to back up and say as I sat at my observation post I did notice that no one else seemed to notice = and that was reassuring. --- Is this just a quirk (bad habit) in my personna -- do any others expierence the same ...............................Debra

Well, a couple weeks ago I saw in Walmart a "sister" where the only visible efforts were colored shoes and wig. I didn't look down on that, but I did note the constant harsh or severe look on her face. Thought to myself "Hon, don't let that be you." If I'm not enjoying it, or at least content, why do it?

No, never experienced anything like that. But then, I am lucky enough to live in Florida... where it is so very obvious 365 days of the year that GGs come in all sizes and shapes. Some even have "manly" voices.

You are simply one of the many CD busters here that WAY TOO EASILY jumps to conclusions.

..."and she was in no way outstanding other than being on the tall side". As far as I know, there are no laws or rules against GGs being tall. Or very tall?

I agree with you. It IS a bad habit, but you aren't hurting anyone and at least you realize you are doing it and being judgemental. There are far worse habits.

I think in some cases, busting other CDers is simply an unconscious desire and way to ensure oneself that "there are plenty of others of my kind" roaming the planet, so there is nothing wrong with what I am doing and I am not alone.

Bad habit or not... I love judging people! And you can judge me poorly for that... like I care... lol

I think that everyone looks at people and notices things, tall or short, well dressed or not, skinny or heavy, long or short hair or not, attractive or not, and so on. You can call it judging or just observing. I think judging sometimes and rightfully so has a negative connotation, but we are not always judging. As long as I keep my inner thoughts to myself, it hurts no one, except maybe me if I let it bother me, which thankfully, like Karren, I do not.

Hi Debra, I don't think of it as judging, I consider my "habit" to be people watching.
As far a s spotting CDers goes, that is much more difficult. My mother has a couple women friends that have very masculine appearances.

It's fun to quietly judge others based on a variety of criteria including (but not limited to) poor grammar.

To me that doesn't sound like judging,it's observing.Women observe other women all the time.Nothing wrong with that.The holier than thous that run us down for what we do,now that's judging.

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Originally Posted by gender_blender

It's fun to quietly judge others based on a variety of criteria including (but not limited to) poor grammar.

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I do that all the time - though I am not too QUIET when I pick on my Mother for saying "warsh" instead of "WASH".

As for the people watching, well, sometimes I cannot help but to feel bad for/judge people for (what I consider) inappropriate clothing for situations (dirty, wrinkled, ill fitting, etc.). I am sure someone has done the same to me, and I try not to hold it against them, but hey, I'm only human. 'sigh'

Absolutely I rate or judge people on their appearance...I believe if folks were more honest you'd find most of us do to some degree.

One of my big things is when I see a semi-attractive woman who has obviously put forth zero effort in her appearance. My mind starts spinning at the possibilities of being her and going through a full makeover. I find that a less-than-gorgeous woman who puts some effort in herself by dressing nicely and wearing the right amount of makeup is infinitely more attractive than a 'gorgeous' woman who slums it. And I'm not talking about 'natural beauties', just ones who don't care.

I'd venture to say that we all observe and judge as a matter of basic survival. Always ascertaining the threat level and being ready to react. We're not the biggest and baddest in the jungle and to some we're just prey. I just never considered judging a bad thing unless you're judging others harshly to elevate your self-esteem.

On another note, I love people, men, women and CDs too who present well. Hair done, nice clothes fitted well, appropriate makeup, good posture, and confident bearing. What's not to like!

This thread SHOULD be titled, "Honesty or deceit?".

Anyone that thinks they can watch other people and NOT judge them by their appearance must be Egyptians. Because you're living in De Nial! The only people that DON'T judge others by appearance r either young children, morons, blind, or live at Forest Lawn!

Ha... Makaila... love the PA remark! Bad grammar, "warshing," "sweepers," "gum bands," and "malk" makes me crazy too.

In respect to the thread, though, I have noticed a lot of pinch-faced, unhappy people. That crosses the gender line... misery is not pretty.

I've seen a lot of very tall women (I'm 6 even and there was a woman in the store in front of me tonight who beat me by at least five inches... and I was envious and cranky because my feet were still bigger!)

And if I had never met my mother-in-law before, I'd swear she had a bad wig and was not even close to passing. eek.

Yes, we all judge or classify. I feel there must be another element added to the judgement element, and that is recognizing a person's demeanor, etc. for the sole purpose of making one feel superior. I do not feel that merely recognizing a person and noting their demeanor is terrible. We all know the world can be looking at us, whether in male or femme, and we live with it, until someone takes an adverse action against us for their observation.

Barbara

Myself, I enjoy having coffee at the mall and watching people. ALL people. And often wonder where the hell are the "Fashion Police"? But, then, it's a good thing they don't show, as I would obviously be among those in the paddy wagon. Still, it is a good way to see what the GG's are wearing, or not wearing, and get ideas for the shopping that comes right after coffee.

Leah

I make it a point to stay out of Walmart, I am principally against everything the company stands for, on every level.

Outside of Walmart, you are all game for my judgement, mwuuaahahahaha! :devil:

I was out the other daynin your area and I was so happy to see several tall women during the day. It makes me feel like I don't stand out so much. It wasn't me though.
I was in 4 inch heels, nylons, black and white polka dot dress, and lacy light cover up. Next time say hi.

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Originally Posted by Makaila

I do that all the time - though I am not too QUIET when I pick on my Mother for saying "warsh" instead of "WASH"...

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Ooh! Like fingernails on a blackboard...

My personal favorites (NOT!) are "fill-um" for "film", "lugshury" for luxury, "boughten" for "purchased" and "back in the day..."

Can't say I don't observe we all do it.
Trashy acting people I do judge.Show some class please.
Bad grammar really gets me too.
I ain't got no,I needs me some tores for muh coor. Those two set me off!

I catch myself sometimes saying "What in the world where you thinking, when you put that on this morning. What mirror did you look into to think that that looked good?" Both women and men, and outside Walmart.

That's how we retain data and learn. We do organize all the information that enters our brain into classifications and sub-classifications that make sense to us, so that we can retrieve the info later though recall. Otherwise there would be no chronology to our memories, and what we know about every topic would be chaotic.

And, gender is one of the major people classifications. It's our reptilian brains telling us who we can have sex with or not. lol

So you did a normal thing. Judgment would come in if you had any negative thoughts about this person.

Debra,
Did you recognize a sister?

We are all judgemental when we have the time.

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Originally Posted by Beverley Sims

Debra,
Did you recognize a sister?

We are all judgemental when we have the time.

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No did not recognize her but I am at the same location and she came in again today - short skirt leggings leather jacket, boots , looked nice, age appropriate? no wait not going there... is she a member here ? not that I recognize but we all don't post pics -- will we meet ?- it's possible .........................Debra