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After getting home I have been fourtionet my wife has been away I love her but we are in a D. A. D. T. I have been in femme to the stores which is huge for me but today when shopping I realized I need to talk to her she knows I like to dress I need to explain somehow that I am more Sara than I am Steve I feel bad cause this ain't what she signed up for but this conversation has to happen wish me luck
Best wishes, Sara! Communication can make or break a relationship! Wishing for a great outcome! Hugs Lana Mae
Best of luck. Perhaps a bit of good news might be the fact that she does know but wants DADT. However bad that sounds, it's still better than "If I ever catch you...." and "I'd rather see you dead than in a dress".
I know because I've been there myself. My wife's opinion was "better dead than dressed" for a long time", but I persisted. I did my best to show her that her concerns, whatever they were, were unfounded, that I wasn't gay, that I wasn't going for GRS, and her husband hadn't disappeared. Now she'll even tell me when she likes my outfit.
So if I have anything helpful to offer you, it's this. Be patient and persistent with your dressing, but be sure not to let it change your personality too much. If she has an open mind, she may discover that you are a better person when dressed, making you a better partner for her.
Sara, Please before you have the talk just think things through and how you want to approach it. Only you know your wife, and beleive me they are all different just like us, but I would not hit her over the head per se but go about it gradually and back off some if it is going downhill fast. On the other hand if she seems somewhat receptive keep the conversation going. Good luck!
I commend you for realizing that you need to talk. Since I have no idea what you are about to say or if the DADT situation is her idea or yours, communication is probably a good thing.
Just remember to be honest, listen to her concerns also, and don't make promises that you can't or won't keep.
Agree with everything Char has said and want to add find a time you can talk without interruption.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
Sara, I hope all goes well for you.
I wish you the best and want to reiterate what Crissy, Char, and Di said. Perhaps the most important thing is not making your cases but listening to what she says and her concerns. Keep it simple and definitely do not fire hose her with what amount to demands. And remember taking baby steps is often the best approach. Initially, be willing to set clear boundaries that allow you some flexibility while letting her adjust to the new view.