Starting the change

After my divorce four years ago, I finally began to really explore who I really am. I saw a shrink for about 6 months to help me through some of the depression that came with the divorce, too. Now, I have come to the point where I am considering transitioning.
I made an appt. to see my shrink this Saturday, and I want to seek a referral from her to see someone who can help me decide what I am, and whether I should transition. Can any of you girls help me know how to go about this? What are some of your experiences finding therapists to help girls like us? What kind of therapist should I ask to see? I don't want to spend six months in talk therapy with a therapist who doesn't specialize in this. Please help me know how to go about this... :confused:
Chrissy

You need to be involved with a therapist who specializes in transgender issues. This was something I did before starting HRT, jointly in fact with my wife. Transitioning is a serious step and not something to be entered into blindly. A transgender therapist can help provide you with all the pertinent info you will need as well as providing a professional analysis as to whether or not this is a viable option for you. If so, they can also recommend medical guidance and supervision to ensure that you are transitioning safely.

Hope this helps you out some with this issue.

Love,
Christine Renee

Julie put some very good book titles on a thread recently, and I ordered four of them, but they haven't come yet. What are the steps we take to with the therapist? I'm worried it's going to be like I'm going to be on trial or something. How does a girl prove herself to be sincere? I don't want to do anything I'll regret, but I don't want to be an old lady by the time I'm fully post op, either. How do I know if my therapist is a good one? I don't want to waste time bouncing from one to another. I wish we had a listing of good ones that we could recommend to one another. THAT would be so much help!

all feel those type of feelings. I too have always felt like I just wasn't quite right, like you said, being angry for no apparent reason, being depressed when my life has been anything but priviliged (sp?), and never, ever feeling comfortable in my own skin.
I used to go to the gym to work out, and I'd try to do all of the weights to bulk up and build a masculine physique, but I never succeeded. I never really wanted that, because I enjoyed the aerobics and yoga so much more. When I was in high school and college, I was always so appalled at the pathetically base mentality so many of the guys had toward sex and toward women. I was disgusted by it, and seemed to confuse my male friends by having a sense of class and compassion.
I've been in a rut lately, and last night I finally dressed en femme for the first time in three weeks. It was suuuch a wonderful feeling. It wasn't just putting on clothing to me. It was like putting on my Self. It made me feel whole and secure and HAPPY!
Thank you for all of your thoughtful insights. I did order the book you mention along with some others you recommended in another thread, so I know those will help me see things more clearly.
Do you think it makes sense for me to start with the therapist I saw last for depression, and to seek a referral from her for a gender specialist, or is that just taking a step I don't really need?
Chrissy

loud and clear, Julie.
Some of the most interesting things come out in conversations with the people we are closest to, once they know it's safe to talk about it with us. When I finally told my former wife (still probably my best friend, too), she was very sweet and supportive. She even helped me get up the nerve to go out for the first time en femme. But the thing that surprised me the most was that she actually told me she knew there was something that just wasn't "all male" about me, going back several years. When I asked her why she never told me that before, she simply said, "because you weren't ready to hear it". And she was right. I too, have been a loner, keeping to myself, fearful of getting too close in any friendships, out of fear for the most part, and I can already see that if I am just willing to be who I really am, I will suddenly flower into an attractive, fun, and enjoyable friend. All of these years, I have just wasted, hiding, when I could have been living and enjoying life.
Well, that is going to change, and it is going to be like being reborn. Thank you once again for your thoughts and insights. More to come!
:)
Chrissy

my general therapy appt. that I had scheduled this morning, and looked over the site listings you provided, Julie. I intend to do a little research into the four doctors listed in my area, and make a few calls before choosing one for a preliminary appt. My biggest concern beyond getting started in therapy though is how I will work this out on the job. I'm a teacher, and I'm afraid I will be pushed out the door one way or another when the parents and students begin to complain. It's something I'll handle when the time comes, but I'll do so as gracefully as possible. I've never felt that it was my true calling in life, anyway, and I'm already making plans for the career change that will inevitably come. I know it will all be worth it though. :)
Hugs,
Chrissy

I'd love to teach at the university level, but I would need to invest further in my education and I know jobs are tight in that market. I just don't know that it would be worth the effort. In some ways, it would be comforting to stay in education, but I've been frustrated for years with the lack of interest that our kids have in learning. The high school scene has just about fried any desire I have left in me for teaching.
Now, I would just love to take control of my life by running a small business. I know it'd be a ton of work, but it just seems like it would be so rewarding to do something I want to, rather than sapping my life's energy away feeling little reward in education. I know some who have left the profession for a year or two who have come back because they missed it so much. Perhaps that'll be me. I have little experience in the private sector but I am very capable if just shown the ropes.
This is going to be hard and I'm scared, but I think I need to do it. Getting back to transitioning, who knows, maybe I'll go through it while I am back in school prepping to a job transition too. Why not make both transitions coincide? Then, I won't have to go through the physical one on the job somewhere. It'd probably be much easier to transition as a student on a campus, and not an employee somewhere. If the timing is right, I'll finish both at the same time.
(Then, I'll only have to worry about paying the billion dollar bill...
:rolleyes:
Chrissy