Followed by a Man on the Street During Outing

Hi, all.

Went on my usual errand run for the week and almost didn't feel like going out en femme, but I had a new long skirt I wanted to wear and this was the first chance to do it, so I put on all my padding (with B size boobs instead of the usual Cs, plus hip pads) and topped that with a nice outfit.

First stop, Target. Went there mostly for the pet food, but I found they have a nice clearance section. Unfortunately, there isn't much inventory rotation, so they always seem to have the same things. Most of what I saw was already there last week. And the week before.

Next, I went to Ross. There, I found a nice dress in my size for $7.49. It was too good a bargain to pass up. The cashier was a lady I had not seen before. She seemed more nervous than I was accustomed. I must admit I said at one point "If I did not know better, I'd say you're trying to get rid of me quickly". That seemed to make her adopt a more relaxed demeanor and by then my payment had gone through, my receipt was printed and I was heading out. Good buy, so-so experience. Then, I went to a different Ross and I found the $7.49 dress again. This time, I left it on the rack, as I didn't like it enough to have two.

Next, I made a trip to a Pharmacy to pick up a prescription. The staff there have seen me en femme before, but the male clerk who assisted me was new. We had a pleasant chat and I was out of there pretty quickly without feeling rushed. Then, I went to a Chinese restaurant down the street where I have been a customer for at least ten years (from pre-dressing days). Nowadays, they pretty much only see me en femme. I picked up lunch.

Finally I stopped by the Post Office. The first parking spot available was a half-block away, so I parked and walked. As I was going back to my car, A middle-aged, bald, shortish (compared to me) but fairly well dressed man walked in my direction. He wore glasses, so I couldn't quite make out where he was actually looking. I walked by him without giving him a second thought, but when I got to my car and turned around to open the door, there he was again, walking about ten feet behind me, looking somewhat sheepishly (if that's the word I want) in my direction, as if he had been caught.

I didn't feel threatened at any point, as I was a more than adequate physical match, but I was glad I was able to get into my car quickly. When you are in an outing, the last thing you want is to have to fumble for your keys in a purse while you are being followed by some [Insert derogatory but somewhat pot-kettle-ish epithet signifying "eccentric" here].

Thanks for reading.

Patience,

It's the case that we do have admirers, men who like to go out with CD'ers and that possibly he was one of those.

One thing that's often said here is just how our dressing makes us more aware of those things women have to face in their lives. Unwanted attention from predatory miscegenist males should we be fortunate enough to be taken as female as well as those who would seek to do us harm for being who we are. Thankfully the latter is rare.

Keep in mind that men in general just like to gaze at feminine females and it could be nothing more than that ... an innocent, harmless attraction.

How many times have you discretely and innocently walked behind a female as she was walking, enjoying the view?

Barbara Jo, if by discretely walking behind a female you mean intentionally following her for a while rather than going your own pace and way, then my answer is no, never. I would be a hypocrite to say that I never enjoyed a view, but going more or less out of my way to follow the person would seem a very different game to me. Is it just turning your head? Or maybe a step or two to keep her in sight? I'd rate this as innocent. More? It's a fine line there, a shift from passive to active, from spectator to something different, more preying. Not mentioning that if the woman senses it she will feel threatened. And honestly I would have felt threatened in Patience's case as well. Admirer or not.
I don't say that this is what you meant, but I was puzzled by the "discretely walking" term, since it seems to imply some deliberate action.

No, that is not what I meant. Depending on the situation in a somewhat crowded city street, the women and man might be going in the same direction to their destinations.

It is kind of hard to tell what he was doing in a case like that. He might have just wanted a better look at you for reasons unclear.

I have been followed 3 times just this year. One followed me off the hotel elevator. I knew he was following me because I had the last room on the hall and he was right behind me to the end of the corridor. Then he asks if he can come in my room - at 2 AM no less. So I did not pull my key out until I got him to leave. I am much better mentally prepared to deal with it than in the past. I can see how some would be rattled the first time it happens. I had another guy following me in a wheel chair until I turned around and told him to knock it off. Just be ready to stand your ground.

Sandi

OK ladies and germs, gonna lay out the real deal facts of life here, they will be ugly, and a lot of folks here will deny the facts, but here goes.

I hear a lot of folks, CD's mostly, claim that they "feel" like a woman when they dress up. And I have to ask, 'what, exactly, does that mean?' When a guy puts on his BVD's or boxers; his button-down Oxford shirt & tie; his wing-tip shoes, does that make him "feel like a man"? If I gave that same man a Tarzan leopard skin, would he then "feel like an ape-man?" When a woman gets up in the morning, showers, puts on her make up, panties, bra, blouse, hosiery, skirt and shoes, does she look in the mirror and exclaim "OH yeah! I FEEL like a woman!"

When a MAN walks down the street, he MAY be aware of his surroundings, noting anyone that he thinks might pose a threat or be dangerous. But a WOMAN, or those who appear to be women, MUST be aware and cognizant of their surroundings, at all times! Why? Because a woman is more likely to be the victim of violence, or physical assault than most men.

And if YOU (general pronoun) are walking around, dressed as a woman, it behooves you to try to think like a woman would. I don't give a damn if you are 6' 3" and a Black Belt in Karate, ever had a street fight in a skirt and high heels?

Recently I suffered an encounter with a transphobic jerk at work. I was on a break and this pitiful specimen of humanity approached me and started asking very, very. inappropriate questions. And then tried to physical assault me by trying to grab my hair to see if I was wearing a wig!

Now, in my past, I've been a Law Enforcement Officer, a Construction worker, and a dozen other physically demanding jobs, but over the years, my strength has waned, but I still have my training! When creep tried to grab me, I reacted, grabbing his wrist and placing him in a "hold" position. HE had a choice; he could submit, or he could suffer a broken arm, or worse. BUT I was stuck... I couldn't just let him go, because he might become more aggressive; and I couldn't just keep holding him there, without escalating the situation. Luckily for me, two male co-workers appeared, one of whom is actually 6'4" tall! They asked if I was OK, and when I said "no", they intervened. "Jason" (not his real name!) grabbed the creep by his lapels and lifted him off the ground, forcing me to let go of the creep's arm. "John" (not his real name either!) stood there, cracking his knuckles. Between the two of them, they convinced the creep that it would be healthier to be somewhere else. And off he scurried, tail tucked firmly between his legs. I was very grateful for their intervention, because without them stepping in, I would have had no choice but to severely hurt or cripple my assailant.



IF, if, if, you are 'dressing up' in the privacy of your home or hotel room is as far as you ever go, then you have no worries. Other than "getting caught".

You wanna 'dress up' and wander about? Then DON'T go to an empty parking lot, park, or any other venue at "OH Dark Hundred"! Alone. NO actual woman would DO that, unless she is a "working girl".

You wanna 'dress up' and blend in with the genetic, AFAB girls? Then DON'T frigging wear an evening dress and a tiara to flipping Walmart! OR Target! DON'T wear a micro-mini skirt, fishnets, and hooker heels, when picking up your kids at school! LOOK around, SEE what other women are wearing, follow the fecking trend!

To the OP, you got followed by some pervy guy ogling your body? Tough titties girl, get used to it, because women have had to deal with this shyte for ages!

I'm not trying to be a separatist, or condescending, but, FFS, some of y'all have NO FECKING CLUE, about what it means to BE, or appear to BE. a female in society!

Agreed......

Personally, I rarely go out (as Barbara) at night. It' usually mid morning to late afternoon.
Also, I never park in a mostly deserted parking lot / area. A bit of common sense is always in order.

Wow, Jazzmin. Sorry you went through that experience. The way you tell it, it was clearly traumatic.

I definitely will not disagree that women need to be far more alert in public than men. I definitely am more choosy of the places I go to en femme. Generally, I prefer clean, well attended, well lit places. I understand the rationale behind why some CDers do their outings in weird, desolate places at night, but to me, that is madness. A crossdresser should not put themselves deliberately in a position a woman would not want to be in.

To clarify further, my incident occurred in broad daylight in the business section of an upscale neighborhood. There were people eating at restaurants and various other pedestrians, of which my follower was one. The whole event I described was over less than 30 seconds.

Scary! I have had creepy guys follow me around both on foot and in their cars. The time of day did not seem to matter. But I do carry mace in my purse just in case. Can not be too careful.

You never know what is on people's mind when they are following you. It could be nothing bad, but you never know until something happens. Since I go out mostly at night and streets are pretty empty, I always have an eerie feeling when I hear someone walking behind me. Because I live in a relatively safe country, it is not much chance of something bad happening and usually is just someone going in the same direction as I go, not even following me. But if steps are faster than mine and person is catching me, I still get scared and usually look back to see who it is and speed up my pace or try to go over the street or something, to see if he or they are really following me or not. I was bullied on the street before at night by a group of teenage thugs and was not fun. That is still in the back of my mind, even it happened years ago. I also wear pepper spray in my purse all the time.

Ten years ago when I was in gender therapy and going to a support group we were taught to be careful out in the wilds. Basically be aware of what women do to be safe and double it. Although trans people are a bit less of a target than they were back then we are still a target for the more extreme elements and especially if the person is driven by a very strong sexual desire or a challenge to "conquer a woman" which includes creatures that look a lot like a female. Jazzmin's account of a situation that could have turned very ugly is a great example of what we (and women) need to be prepared for. No need to be paranoid, but be alert and don't go places where being very vulnerable is possible. And the older we get the weaker we get and therefore the more vulnerable we get. Fortunately in this regard, the less attractive to the wackos we also get. You never know.

https://ctbythenumbers.news/ctnews/tag/walking#
There are mall walking programs in which malls will open their doors early for folks who want to get early morning exercise.

Glad you made it back safe, sounds like a good day out in general, thanks for sharing your story. hugs

I'm going to go a little off topic, but an example of what women have to deal with. My daughter was at a mall during the day, a guy was following her and making small comments to her. When she went to her car he was in the parking lot and my daughter was smart enough to run back in the mall and had security walk her to her car. From that day I noticed a difference in my daughter, the way she dressed and the way she acted and presented herself in public. She didn't want to draw attention to the wrong people.
On one of my outtings of course we all love attention and maybe tease a little. I was driving with my skirt hiked up and showing a lot of leg and stocking tops and caught the attention of a man driving a van. He followed beside me for miles even when I made it obvious I was a man he still followed me and till a while later he finally left. I got home and explained to my wife how uncomfortable and not sure of the situation or what his intention was. My wife told me that's what you get when someone teases, you draw in the wrong crowd and I deserved what I got. Just like my daughter I now drive not to draw the wrong attention and I could respect you saying that we could defend ourself but its still scary not knowing the intention a person has. I'm happy that you got home safe and nothing came out of it.