To be a woman you got to have Junk in the Trunk.
Every so often hanging out at a Cross-dressing message board you are bound to hear stories of those who seemingly wake up one morning and feel their life was a lie, they have been repressing the woman inside, and decide to either cross-dress 24/7 or start to transition. These stories can be surprising and can appear as if this decision is just coming out of the blue. Every closeted cross-dresser is keeping a part of their life a secret and most will never make such dramatic life altering changes. But these stories do tend to make the rest of us pause or at least it does me.
Sometimes I find myself doing a mental and emotional inventory. I go back into that metaphorical closet, go way in the back, reach up to that top shelf and pull down that locked trunk marked cross-dressing. I open it up to look to see if I locked some woman in there. My mother always told me never to lock a woman in a trunk unless you are a magician then you can stick swords in it or cut it in half if you want. :D
I find only clothes in there, just clothes. Clothes are too superficial to make up anything of real substance. So is the real problem not hiding cross-dressing but something more? My guess is that there has to be more junk in their trunks then just clothes. Reading many post here it seems that there are those here that cut off any iota of what could be construed as female behavior, mannerisms, tastes, interests, emotions, etc... And they lock those away in the trunks too. These to me are the real things about a person to repress that can cause danger in the future, not clothing. But I suspect that they get tied in with the clothing so it becomes a package deal. There lock away in the metaphorical trunk is the spirit of a woman complete with wardrobe, growing and festering until the trunk can hold her no more. And just like one of those horror movies where a driver hits a person and hides the body only to be haunted by the ghost some years later. Their spirit torments the driver then possesses the driver taking over his life. I think there are a few dozen stories with that theme on Fictionmania.
I consider myself fortunate; throughout my struggles with cross-dressing I have been able to keep my yin and yang in balance. I try not to think of having a male side or a female side I keep them well blended like yogurt with fruit. But this also could be a problem. When I would dress I didn't feel any different in how I wanted to express myself. I didn't feel girly. Rather than the clothes expressing a part of me they just made me feel weird and not like myself. Perhaps separating the girl part allows for a much fuller experience when dressing. Perhaps if you are a cross-dresser referring to your feminine side in the third person or by {insert female name here} is they way to enjoy cross-dressing.
I may be reading more into this referencing one's female self in the third person or by {insert female name here}. I have no doubt it is a very convenient way of organizing what one does in drab and what one does in drag. But what if there is more to it? What if all of this "I am going to have a {insert female name here} day this weekend", or "Going introduce the SO to {insert female name here} tonight" is a sign of a fracture. Now this is just a hypothesis and a question. Male time seems like dull work, responsibility time, slugs, snails, and puppy dog tails. While {insert female name here} time is fun, relaxing, sugar, spice, and everything nice. Could such associations skew the balance to favor {insert female name here} time more and more over time to make one want to never have male time?
I'll stick with the balanced life, Yin and Yang in harmony. I think it the best way to prevent some future drama. And that would be my advice to young closeted Cross-dressers out there; you can lock clothes in a trunk but you can't lock a woman in a trunk its not healthy and its illegal :heehee: . You may find that you can't or don't want to dress in public which is fine but don't hide any other feminine aspect of yourself. Sing that Beyoncé song when it come up on the jute box, order that fuzzy naval in front of the guys from work, let that tear fall at the end or the Notebook.
Lastly three questions for you all.
1. What do you think. Is it repressing the clothes or a female side that will cause a cross-dressers mid-life crisis. or is it both or neither, or something else.
2. Separating ones male and female sides, harmless, harmful, or helpful?
3. Who thought this post was going to be about some butt padding technique, or about feminine derrières?
Que Sir Myx-A-lot
