Not your everyday Mother-Daughter tale
My oldest child is Stephanie.
A bit of background. A few months before we were to marry, my wife to be found herself with child. She decided she wanted an abortion as it would seriously screw up her wedding plans. I was against it and eventually I won. My wife never really "forgave" Stephanie for changing the wedding plans all around. It also did not help that they were two peas in a pod.
For the first few years of her life, Stephanie and I were almost inseparable. Though not always a good thing as she tended to get jealous of any attention paid to me by her siblings.
The divorce was very painful for her and by the time she was 11 I had decided to spend time in California after returning from a deployment overseas. It was a great time with all my kids as my ex did not mind at all if I took the kid(s) on a daily basis....as long as the child support came rolling in.
At the end of that two years I had to come back to Ohio, and when I told the family, Stephanie just assumed she was moving with me. Lol, she never asked me or her Mom, she just packed her things. This caused some problems as the ex did not want to give up child support and I ended up paying child support till STephanie was 18; even though I had legal custody of her.
I mentioned in another post that I came into my room one day and found Stephanie rummaging through my closet looking for a sweater because she knew my ex was the same size as she. When she looked at the sizes she looked at me and looked at all the tags and just smiled.
That Mothers Day, I got a card from her and some lipstick, because she said my lipstick was "not in style". She asked me to dress up for her and with very nervous stomach I did. Though not without going out and buying a whole new outfit. It went much better than I expected. The first words out of her mouth were "Oh, Mom, you look way better than I expected!". I guess the look on my face was such that she backpedaled and tried to apologize til I just started laughing. I did say though "Mom?".
Stephanie replied "Well, lets face it you have been more of a Mom to me than Renee (her Moms name) ever thought about being. Who took me to Brownies, Girl Scouts, parents day at school; trips to the parks and movies? It sure wasn't Renee!".
We had a long talk because I'm old fashioned an thought she should show her Mom some respect. IT was then that she told me that a few months before we moved out here, she and her Mom got in a big fight and Renee let out the nuke and told her that she wished she had gone ahead with the abortion........
Of course she had a zillion questions and was really surprised at how naturally I walked and held myself and did my make up...even if a bit dated. I gave her a very edited account of my 4 years living as a woman and being "married" to a man. And don't think that was not an easy moment. In fact it kind slipped out as I'm a stream of consciousness thinker. To my delight instead of being...disgusted...she told me that since I was her Mom, and a woman, it was only natural that I date guys...ok....I think she had a harder time with me dating men AND women than if I had just dated men.
She even wanted to meet her "step father", though there were good reasons that did not happen for years. She encouraged me to dress more at home and when she saw the change in my personality and how much more relaxed I was dressed she encouraged it even more. Eventually we did things together; like shopping and going to the movies and other mother/daughter things. Though always in a far distant city.
She had a best friend who she started spending weekends with as she got more into her teen years, and it was something I expected but still kind of felt sad about. I did take the opportunity to spend the whole weekend in femme, and sometimes entire weeks as I was semi retired at that point ( I made some good financial decisions and was able to mostly retire when I was 46).
One friday she and I were watching a romcom as we had hours before she was supposed to be picked up by Mia's Mom Liz; for the weekend. I had got up to get some popcorn and the doorbell rang as I was passing it and without thinking I opened it....and there were Liz and Mia......
Without missing a beat she grabbed my hand and. looking at Mia, said "Mia...Liz this is my Mom Michelle. Michelle; Mia and Liz!". Mia was actually very very confused and Liz was also confused and then the light went on and she looked at me and said "Oh really.......took my hand and said "So very nice to finally meet you, Steph has been talking about you forever and it had me confused....till now".
The four of us became quite good friends and we went on trips together, and shopping together, and when the girls got old enough to drive...and be trusted to drive...Liz and I started to do our trips together as bff's. Until she met her husband who completely hated me and forbid her from seeing me. Not because of being trans. He never figured that out. He just did not like that I told her the truth about him...anyway...
Back to Stephanie. The day came when she left for College and I became an empty nester. Not that we didn't see each other she was only an hour away. But between studies and BOYS, I saw less and less of her. One day she tells me to wear something extra nice as she was coming for dinner on Sunday. I do, and just as I suspect she has a man in tow. She introduces him to me as her Mom, and he accepts that with no problem. Of course I take her aside later and ask her what was going to happen when he meets her siblings....the look on her face was priceless..."Oh....Renee.....damn..well I'll just tell him it's THEIR Mom". To which I replied "Ummmm except that none of them knows about me but you" "Knows about....oh damn..I actually forgot about that! I mean I forgot that you were not actually Mom. I can't remember the last time I saw Dad..."
Well, we got that straightened out and now I have three grandchildren by her that all call me "Grandma". I actually got to be the mother of the bride and to help her out with the wedding.
The truly ironic part is that none of my other four children know anything about this part of my life. And why should they? They live 2400 miles away and have lives that keep them from traveling and seeing me here without a lot of advanced notice.
And that is Stephanie for those that asked.
