Jealous

I'm retired and didn't have a lot on my agenda for yesterday other than to to reorganize parts of my wardrobe that had to be moved while family visited recently. I got up early and put on a cute new knee length dress and sandals. It was the perfect outfit for the day.

But, after going through the stuff that needed to be rehung in my closet, I decided I needed to make a Walmart run for more hangers with slots to hold the tops. I wear a beard and had my long gray hair back in a bun. I was, and always am, a man-in-a-dress. I'm one who feels cute, feels comfortable and somewhat indulged in women's things, but I still feel totally all man, even in a dress. That's where the jealousy comes in. I'd have loved to have just grabbed a bag and made the errand in the dress, without worrying that my photo might end up in a 'people of walmart' meme somewhere on the internet. I feel just as masculine in a dress as any woman should feel feminine in jeans. But, I am totally aware that that's not it would look from the outside.

I'm old enough to remember when blue jeans were "men's clothes" but never thought anything about it when women started wearing them. More power to them. For while in the mid-seventies, my wife and I could share our Levis 'big bells'. More and more 'women's cut jeans came in after that and now there are women's jeans and men's jeans.

It's beating an old dead horse I know. I'm not really even blaming anyone. Just venting.

Oh, and I did get a little satisfaction by putting on some 'girl' jeans, a pink t, and a woman's hoodie with my white chuck taylors. Not quite the same, but still nice.

A man..ugh... woman must do what they must.

I totally get the "feel just as masculine in a dress as any woman should feel feminine in jeans". Not that I ever really felt masculine anyways, but I feel like the same person regardless. Just happier I am wearing what I want to wear.

Bea,
I'm a little older but I would never resign myself to that situation , why not just shave the facial hair off and give it a go ? I haven't had a single problem I just enjoy being out in the RW as Teresa and being accepted as such . I wear what I feel is suitable for the weather conditions , OK I never thought I would wear jeans but love my slim cut and boot cut just as much .

Teresa,
There is some resignation about the whole thing for me but, in the whole scheme of things, I've got a pretty good life.

The beard is not an issue for me. The truth is, I look much better with a beard than without because of a very weak chin structure. I was once referred to as 'chipmunk cheeks' because of of it.

I don't care to pass and I think my whole world would have to change to make venturing out in whatever I please an option. It's kind of a cost/benefit thing for me and I've been slowly getting bolder over the last 10 years. I never even considered women's clothes and accessories as an option before my mid-fifties. Now my closet and drawers are probably 60/40 female/male. With retirement, I'm in something femme 80-90% of the time at home and am content for the most part. I really don't feel "femme" so much as I feel that a whole part of my masculinity spectrum is restricted by the accepted norms. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else.

My rant was more wishful thinking than anything serious.

Bea,
You wrote:Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else. Of course it does. What you're describing are typical MIAD activities. I feel like that all the time.

I'm going to go out on a limb and no disrespect intended, but have you ever shaved your beard and gone all out on makeup , forms etc, to see if you get that feeling that's opposite of "man in a dress" ?

When I dressed without going all out, it never felt right, but then again I'm one of those that would fully trans if it were possible.

But I have to agree with you , It would be nice to be able to go out without being judged. I get funny looks from time to time just because of earrings.

Kelly,
I don't see any disrespect in your reply. But, I really just not interested in shaving the beard. I wanted to grow a beard when I was in my twenties to cover up just how young I looked but I had huge bare spots that just made me look awkward. I worked many years in a field where the OSHA required me to be clean shaven, except for a mustache. Testosterone supplements made a full beard kick in about the time I changed to a non-clean-shaven job. As mentioned earlier, my facial structure makes my unshaven face not so attractive male or female. I'll keep the beard.

I'm curious about makeup but not so much to look like a woman. I'm just curious about the possibilities.

Forms... I'm not saying never, but I kinda like my natural a/aa cup manboobs as they are and since it's not really on my radar, I'm not gonna push what I'm sure would be well into my wife's no-fly zone. Cost/benefit...

I'm more about women's clothes and fashion like the early adopter women were of men's jeans, before the brands realized that the market was there. I like jeans on women. I like to choose items I like from the other side of the aisle for myself. I'd like to feel the freedom to wear what I want outside of the house without the hassle. But, I don't see myself as ever getting that "more than a man-in-a-dress" feeling.

A very interesting article entitled "Why Most Men Still Don't Casually Wear Dresses" appeared on the former "Racked" website last year, which explores in great depth why society deems it to be quite acceptable for women to wear men's - or men's style - clothing, whereas for a man to wear overtly female-identified clothing is still considered to be a societal taboo in the Western world, and a bridge too far for most men to even consider...as in "Ewwww! :phbbt:

Basically, it comes down to women aspiring to partake in the world of alleged male privilege by "moving up" in doing so (you know, as in the beloved 1970's sitcom "The Jeffersons" ;) ) whereas for men there is no social capital in doing the opposite.

https://www.racked.com/2018/4/23/172...ng-men-dresses

Yes, as stated countless times here in this Forum - "No fair!", but there is a form of twisted logic attached to this stigma, and whoever said that life was fair, right?

If nothing else, we crossdressers can pat ourselves on the back for having the cojones to not only defy these societal norms, but in most cases also being able to do it without feeling the slightest guilt or shame. Then again, numerous studies have also shown that we as a group rank above average in intelligence and therefore have an innate ability to apply critical thinking to things that we find to be illogical or just plain B.S. such as this contrived, and, let's face it...fundamentally homophobic - double standard

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

Then again, numerous studies have also shown that we as a group rank above average in intelligence and therefore have an innate ability to apply critical thinking to things that we find to be illogical or just plain B.S. such as this contrived, and, let's face it...fundamentally homophobic - double standard

---

How does one find these studies? Did a quick google but not much luck

Leslie,
I have read the article you linked before. I agree with it to a degree, but it's not enough of an answer to me. And I totally agree that the 'women in pants is no different than a man in a dress' issue is a dead and mutilated horse, even if it totally legitimate.

I also totally agree with your last paragraph about the typical CD having somehow recognized something that has been missed by the general populous (IQ?). But, I think I'm somewhat unique here on the forum in that I'm not emulating femininity, but rather expanding my idea of masculinity. I don't see women becoming masculine because they've worn pants over the last three quarters of a century. They've just expanded femininity to include things that were not available to them before.

Thanks Leslie for refreshing our memories with this excellent article which was posted here some time ago (by you?). As long as the society thinks like that we will be stuck in the rut.

Leslie;

I understand what you are saying. I have a face that's to be blunt well suited for radio. I had always thought my attempts at makeup were mediocre at best, but I started looking into lessons and found out there were makeup artists who would do the whole male to female transformation process.

I'm going to propose a challenge for you. Take a chance , find a local makeup artist and let them for one day do a complete make over. At least for one day you won't feel like a man in a Dress (no offense anyone) and you will get a pleasant surprise at what make up can do. Your beard will grow back LOL.

Jeannie even goes with me from time to time. Jeannie has her make up done as well. We found Amanda at True Colors Makeup Artistry.

Kelly,
You addressed your response to Leslie, but I'm assuming the challenge was meant for me. I appreciate the challenge, but MIAD is really a cool gig for me. I wouldn't mind playing around with makeup, just to see what would come out. My wife has actually done wonders doing special occasion makeup for others over the years. I'd love to have her do it, but haven't broached the subject with her yet. But, even she would have to contend with the beard and the unibrow (that I hadn't mentioned before). They're staying, by mutual choice, by me and my wife. I'm not trying to be or look like a woman.

I understand that I'm probably in a minority here, but i like many aspects of my manhood that others try to hide when they dress. The clothes are an intentional addition to my persona, not a replacement.

Bea I sympathised with a lot of what you've posted here. I too like being a man but would like to try more full femme (only even tried once) . Switching between fake boobs and false beard seems a bit much though.
Also RL means I'm letting things slide at the moment.
I hope you find a level that makes you happy.

There are clothes and then there is "dressing". I have little interest in women's clothes by themselves, but a passion for feeling feminine. Whether they are jeans or a frilly dress doesn't matter so much to me as much as crossing over to the other side. I love bras, and it's often the first thing I put on. Bras are a women-only garmet, hooking the strap behind me brings magic that opens the door into a world I love to be in.

We should also not forget that at other times and places, men dressed differently.

Attachment 305444

Crissie,
I appreciate that there seems to be a majority here that want to feel feminine. I'm just not one of them. Even the few times I tried tucking, just to see what it would be like, I was mostly reminded that I'm not female. I was more aware of my junk than usual. I actually like having a little bit of bulge when I wear my leggings. I don't go out in them or I'd have to make sure my top would cover.

My wife is a very feminine woman and I'm not trying to emulate her or other GG's. But, I love the feel of hanging around the house in a nice comfortable dress, or short shorts and a camisole. I like my aa man boobs, but I'm leery of forms. I think I would probably like them but it would add more complications into a moderately accepting relationship. I have just a little bit of bust and my headlights are 'always on' and i like that they show in a fitted top. That's enough for now.

My original post was about having to change to get out for errands. I find myself procrastinating on a regular basis because i don't want to change out of my preferred wardrobe.

And yeah, I totally agree that clothes for men and women have changed over time. I'm from the era when women first started wearing jeans in the mid/late sixties. I remember my wife buying from the men's department before the brands caught on and started designing them specifically for women. Maybe in fifty years men will be buying dresses and skirts in the 'men's' department.

That reminds me I need to get at my closet thanks now I got to get off my can. :hugs:
Angie

Kelly in post #7 wrote: I'm going to go out on a limb and no disrespect intended, but have you ever shaved your beard and gone all out on makeup , forms etc, to see if you get that feeling that's opposite of "man in a dress" ?


I know it was meant for OP but I think that even though I haven't tried it It would be rather an unpleasant happening. I would feel that I'm impersonating somebody that I am not. I have no desire to have any feminine traits whatsoever. That's why I recently changed my user name as it looked too feminine for my liking. I'm happy to be a MIAD but wholeheartedly approve and support those who strive to be as feminine as they can master.

Bea it sounds like you are being to hard on yourself.
You want things like breast forms but for some reason you won't allow yourself things.
Just because you are retired doesn't mean life is over and you have to sit in a rocking chair on the porch every day.
I haven't worked since Feb of 2012 (medical situation) and retired officially in 2015.
I have plenty to do but I choose what I want to do and when to do it.
Some days I help friends in their businesses if they ask me.
One guy has a paint shop and I go there and help him paint military vehicles.
Find a hobby and do that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tracii G

Bea it sounds like you are being to hard on yourself.
You want things like breast forms but for some reason you won't allow yourself things.
Just because you are retired doesn't mean life is over and you have to sit in a rocking chair on the porch every day.
I haven't worked since Feb of 2012 (medical situation) and retired officially in 2015.
I have plenty to do but I choose what I want to do and when to do it.
Some days I help friends in their businesses if they ask me.
One guy has a paint shop and I go there and help him paint military vehicles.
Find a hobby and do that.

---

I never developed a taste for beer. I think I could. It might be nice to feel a little more sociable with other beer drinkers. But, the cost and the calories make the idea of developing that taste less desirable for me. I'll stick with an occasional glass of wine or a margarita.

It's the same with forms. I might 'get away with it' in my marriage, but it's just not something i desire enough to deal with the fallout. I just choose items that look ok to me with my double-a's. That still gives me plenty of choices. I'm totally ok with my man-bod. I'm not all that jealous of a woman's figure. Just the clothes.