Update on Eye Appt as Michelle

Sometimes you prepare and prepare and end up missing a bunch of little details. Those details have since become a little bit of a pain.

A while back I decided to go to the eye doctor as Michelle. I needed a new perscription for contacts so I made an appointment at America Best Contacts because of their special club package for eye exams. Everything went perfectly but I had a few bumps from the beginning. When I arrived I had to fill out a new patient information card and then sign my name. First bump. I had prepared for everything but forgot about having to sign my name as Michelle. Before anyone jumps onto me, understand I don't have eye insurance and I paid cash. Paid for eye exam and then hit the second hurdle. I didn't bring enough cash to pay for contacts. Fact is that I had just enough money for the eye exam at the time. This is when I hit the second hurdle. I couldn't give them my male credit card so I had to drive back down there and give them cash at a later time. Then they ordered the contacts and I had to go back and pick the contacts up.

All of this had to be done while dressed and before 6PM or on Saturday. I realize now that while I succeeded at my goal of going to the eye appt as Michelle, I neglected to think about a lot of things which we take for granted. I guess this is how a lot of people feel after they begin their RLE. So many things happen that we never prepare for.

This reminds me of a story Zenith told on the TS forum about one such thing that happended well after she transitioned. She was on a date with a nice guy and he asked her an unexpected question about past boyfriends. She had prepared for just about everything but not that question and it caught her off guard. I think that is what happens to a lot of us when we start living on the other side.

It is more complicated than we think many times.

Complications are what happen when life gets in the way....!

Life's little lessons are everywhere. One thing that could have helped you avoid all that is to have gone as Michelle and used all of your correct male data. I do understand that it was specifically your choice and intent to do it all as Michelle. However, with so many of those unknown RLE experience to experience, I think that I would try to eliminate some (e.g. your experience here) until legally I could do it as a woman. Going dressed en femme and using your real data is fine in my opinion, avoids the issues mentioned and maybe if you would have requested that they address you as Michelle, they would have been happy to do so. I am grateful for your pioneering efforts, because I have learned some things from your experiences. Thanks for the update.

PS: Michelle, this was my post No. 3,700! No better place to have it than in my friends thread. Thanks.

It is a challenge to change your "base" attributes. For instance in martial arts much of the repetition has to do with "retraining" natural responses/reflex actions. When somebody takes a swing at your head from above, the normal reaction is to raise your arms over your head to protect yourself. It takes a long time to change that reflex action into a different response. Try moving a light switch or lamp in you house and observe how long it takes you to quit trying to reach for the switch in the old location.

The popular belief for a long time was that it takes approximately 21 days to "learn" a new habit. It is now believed to take longer.

Actions and behaviors are not isolated events. Each is a puzzle with many pieces. This is why it so difficult to lie and deceive people. Particularly those that are close to you and over extended periods of time. Not to mention all of the kinesic micro-expressions (non-verbal cues) that the body displays.

Some people are naturally quit learners more adept at absorbing and changing base behavior. Most are not very good at it because they do not “see“ or “feel“ all of the pieces that make up the puzzle. A few are natural “chameleons”. (like psychopaths for example, lol). The rest must learn from experience and lots of practice. Professional actors are a good example. Some are true artists and others are limited.

I think it has everything to do with the amount of natural curiosity a person has and how perceptive they are.

:love:

Those "little bumps" .... I guess we've all experienced them to one degree or another. It's how we deal with 'em that makes us a better person.

The "quicker thinkers" find some humor in them at times, and rapidly adjust to the situation.

Those who are not as adept at the mental gymnastics required, will either be completely embarrassed or "crack and fold" at the smallest of these "bumps"

The middle of the group will have their wits tested and will learn from the problems. Sometimes there will be success overcoming them other times .... well ... not so good.

All in all, each little "bump" is a teaching tool we should use to better ourself

Michelle,
Congrats on doing a normal, one-on-one interaction as Michelle. I did the same thing last fall in that I got my eyes examined and a new pair of glasses for Leann and my male self. The difference was that I went to an optomitrist. I called the office and asked if they had a problem with a transgendered person to which they replied "no problem". It was a great experience. I had to go back to get my new glasses and had to go back again to get them adjusted.

If your credit card allows it, I would suggest you do what I have done. I have a card with just my initials and my last name. My first name begins with an L so it works both ways.

Leann

PS. I may be out your way again soon.

You have to have a fast wit, cam nerves,and remain calm until the transition is complete. Do not worry, nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.....-.-... ! There is just no way to think of it all, but that helps keep the rush going.
Tina B.

you can also get a 2nd credit card name... i did that with my FIA Visa card and they just sent out another card with my "sisters" name..both cards came back to my original account..

I know Kaitlyn that you have many of these kind of moments since you are transitioning, but I had prepared but just not enough. I guess that is why I wrote this one up is because there are a 1000 things that we miss when we think of living as a woman. We glorify it but it isn't that glamorous once you live 24/7 as a woman. Only then do you see just how boring it is to live as a woman. You can only go shopping so many times before you run out of things to buy or the money to pay for the items. Eventually it all comes back to you have to work and that isn't sexy.