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When I self accepted I decided I'd opt for the whole 'ask for forgiveness not for permission' deal cause it felt so right.
If I had asked for permission I'd at best be a closeted crossdresser, maybe my clothes would be allowed to be hanging up somewhere rather than in a box hidden away.
And I'd have lost the chance I've had the last year or two where I've felt like an actual human being-having the underlying stress of dysphoria melt away, laughing aloud instead of just grunting, 'that's funny', talking to people instead of hiding in a corner, enjoying life instead of tolerating it.
Manging to live the lie was manageable, but the other side is so much better, the regrets I have is waiting so cussing long.
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It has been a challenge for me to find the balance between my wishes and the wishes of my wife, but it has been perfectly possible
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43 years happily married and keep living together.
I'm transwoman and she's straight.
Does this answer your question?
Now, is not a common marriage now. Our relationship is the same, we enjoys each other's presence and company, we have different preferences in many things but adaptation for love is a basic.
I think she has adapted to me and I did it to her too.
I wait several years to start my transition and I keep on it.
I don't any relationship would last these amount of years without the honesty to express your feelings,.desires and fulfil the needs of both, or hiding something big as being trans.
You don't mention your age, hers, and how long married...
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I came out to my wife 3 years ago. We had been married for 42 years and survived the suicide of our younger son, so we have been through a lot. There was a very bad weekend where we worked through the issues. She would have left me if she found out early in our marriage, but it?s too late now. I am regretful that I didn?t come out earlier but I?m grateful that she accepts me for what I am now.