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I have purged twice in the past few years. I always purchase new stuff after I regret throwing things out. Anyone else ever have guilt feelings and tell themselves they are going to stop dressing fem only to find that it's something that you really can't fight?
Welcome to the Forum Kayla. There have been may threads re purging. I have never done it myself, and the majority of those who have seem to always regret it. I think you will also find this 'thing' of ours rarely goes away and purging is just wasting money.
I've purged about 3 times in my life. My suggestion is to stop purging. I think almost everyone will agree - it won't make things better. It won't solve problems. The feelings that draw you to dressing will come back. It's better to deal with those feelings in a constructive way so you feel comfortable with yourself and whatever it is you desire to express.
Hello, Kayla, and welcome.
I want you to read the next words very carefully, as they are EXTREMELY important.
DO. NOT. PURGE.
In case you missed that, I'm going to say it again.
DO. NOT. PURGE.
Many of us here on the forums have done exactly that, and each and every one has regretted it in some form or another. "Oh, I wish I hadn't gotten rid of those heels, or that dress, or that silky nightgown!", and so on. I know there are several things I greatly regretted getting rid of, and was so distraught that I went and bought them back from the thrift store I had donated them to in the first place. Several other of my items were long gone, so it was off to the boutiques for replacements. (I still miss those heels ...)
The feelings don't go away. They may lay dormant for a while, and then one day when you least expect it, bam! The pink fog rolls in like an avalanche, and you're back in the stores picking out pretty things again. It's like fighting the ocean tides with a teacup .... you aren't going to win.
Suggestion: put the "Kayla" stuff away for a while. Get a storage unit. Pack it all up in plastic totes and put it in the attic, or the garage. Keep out one favorite piece, like that cherished silk blouse or a beloved sweater that you would absolutely just die without. Then, when the urges to dress get too strong, take out that cherished blouse and touch it ... hold it ... feel it against your cheek and skin. Wear it if you have to, but DO NOT PURGE anymore !! It's expensive, and it feels like you are ripping away part of your soul every time.
Oh my...let me tell you, I’m in the process of buying new stuff right now! Although I didn’t purge my stuff (ex wife did during divorce) I wish I had every stitch of it still! It is nice getting new stuff, but it’s very expensive! Besides, I had some attachments to some of my other stuff...still wish it had it today.
Don’t purge...you’ll regret it
Just got thru posting my thoughts and about my purge on the other thread similar to this one. I'm hoping it was my last purge.
Kay took the words out of my mouth! DO NOT PURGE!!! Hugs Lana Mae
My problem is not getting rid of anything. Oh, on occasion I have worn something out and had to dispose of the garment, but, never purged. Yes, I have felt shame. I did go through self loathing. Even when I did not have the opportunity to dress for an extended period of time I still found myself buying femme garments. A counselor I see for reasons other than cross dressing (war related PTSD) calls it retail therapy. Right now I am going through the process of purging other things that I have collected. Anyone want to buy about 2,000 Hot Wheels MIB? And that's just the starter. Give up any of my 450+ full slips? Not a chance in Hades!
Never had a reason to purge.
I had a big purge about ten years ago. I would say do not purge.
You will regret purging. Guilt, most of us have felt it. We have lied to ourselves saying that we would stop. Only purging that I have done in my life was as a kid mom and I would bring clothes that didn't fit to the salvation army, Mom would buy me new clothes.
When my wife caught me I told her that I would purge. She told me that she would not let me. I now have a full wardrobe that would make many GG's jealous.
Do yourself a favor, don't ever purge.
I've purged four times in the last twenty years. Each time was a disastrous choice. I lost many beautiful and irreplace
able pieces of clothing that had sentimental value. Please, don't think about purging. It will only end in a feeling of loss and humiliation.
My wife has forbidden me from purging. I can’t say how many times I have wanted to. But I would have been miserable if I had.
In the past I purged twice. Not because I was trying to quit, but because I was trying to reinvent myself and where I thought I should be. Both times I got rid of things I wish I still have. I am now in my third purge because of an injury that alters what I can wear, based upon shoe selection. I can nor longer wear any form of a heel and it makes me feel less. I gave away everything I had based upon how I felt they would look in flats. Very vain on my behalf and somewhat stupid. Simply an emotional reaction. I am now trying to determine waht will make me feel good based upon my age. 75, but I do not want to look like an old lady and having trouble trying to reach a pretty look,as best I can. Several here have said - Do Not Purge. I agree because you will never be able to totally walk away from dressing. It is a part of who you are and always be so.
Yes! I have purged twice in the last five or six years and wish I had everything that's sitting in the bottom of a landfill back! All of my Scarlett stuff was cute, sexy, and classy which are the three attributes I try to pull off every single time I dress up!
I threw away some really expensive and nice things - skirts, boots, tops, panties, bras, makeup, etc. One time it was for religious reasons and the next time it was because I was busting by my then non accepting of cross dressing wife. She now accepts the fact that I will always continue to do it because I love to do it and I'm really good at it! She knows I can never give it up and now understands why I do it. I just can't get my girl on as Scarlett while she's around. I would actually feel very awkward being dressed as Scarlett around her. So I respect her feelings in regards to my cross dressing and only do it when she's not around.
Don't purge...You'll always regret it. I will say I need to get rid of about 5 skirts and a few pair of shoes and some tops that just didn't do it for me when I put them on! But that's not a purge, it's just getting rid of things that don't look right or don't fit!
I have never fully purged I have gotten rid of things mostly due to getting bigger and clothes staying the same size. I still miss some of it. I do still have a dress that doesn't fit but I can't bring myself to let it go, mostly because of how good I felt when I wore it.
My suggestion is that if you feel a need to purge just throw out the stuff that is no longer useful (doesn't fit, worn out, etc.) and keep the rest. Pack it in a tightly sealed storage box (keeps out the spiders) and stash it away somewhere. Your desire to dress probably does not come from the presence of the clothes and other things; it comes from within you. The clothes just express what you feel. If you don't feel that way for some period of time then there is no need to keep the clothes ready to use. If the desire never comes back then no problem and you might even forget they are stored away. But there is no sense of loss if they do come back and a need to spend more money. If the desire does come back later then you can dig out the storage box and have things right there to address it. As others have said, the feelings and desires do return for a vast majority of us. Most of us have had sometimes long periods where the feelings are totally absent. It is possible for it to disappear permanently. Probably can't induce it to disappear, but it can come to an end all on its own. I suspect it depends on the reasons why the feelings exist in the first place. Certain causes may be become permanent while others may be temporary and vanish at some point.
Yes, I have been there with you! I have purged twice, each time rebuilding my horde/stash at great expense. My suggestion is to get rid of what you don't wear, and keep the rest. Now if I can just follow my own advice:) Brenda
As many here have said, don't purge. Put your stuff in storage. And that's great advice. A better thing to do is make up your mind to be proud of who you are. Crisscrossing isn't something you should be ashamed of, it's something you should be proud of. It's not a weakness, it's a strength. If you can make yourself see that, you'll be a lot better off in the long run.
Gretchen, Very good post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaimeCD
+1
My wife says she has veto power over me wanting to purge.
The only guilt feelings I have about purging..... What a waste. :-)
My parents were the only ones that successfully purged for me.
They only got one chance.
Purging = waste. Don’t do it ! A $ waste too.
I purged once. Never again! I may have to add on another bedroom just to have more closet space.