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Although it is always good to hear of a GG who is accepting of our way of life i have to agree with the rest , it is one thing to be friendly with the married couple but something totally different when you want a relationship with the husband , you have to let him sort out his marriage with his wife and not give him a very good reason to turn to you in the way that you would like .
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Evan's state
It sounds like Evan is unhappy but is it his unhappiness or your perception of his state? We all see what we would like to exist after all.
It does sound as though he could use a good friend and you sound like a good person the question is how able are the two of you able to keep the situation in a state which would not destabilize his marriage before "it's time has come"? Are you attracted to him in a "get married" sort of way or just sexually? Is moving the relationship into something sexual worth the chance of him ending up alone (sans you, his SO and his kids)?
I left an unhappy marriage under somewhat similar circumstances, not exactly the same but having met someone after separating that really helped me through the transition to singledom and then back into a happier marriage. It has to be something Evan does though. I'm not one who believes all marriages are sacrosanct nor do I think that a "broken" marriage means broken children- often it can be just the opposite. The transition period though will be turmoil that was as tough on me and everyone else involved as it gets and in the end you may or may not prove compatible, his kids may or may not accept you. Definitely though if his SO decides to divorce him then you will get dragged into court- that's just the way it goes.
Just thoughts to ponder based on one person's experiences.
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( regarding temptation )Married guys very rarely leave their wives.
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Hi Gracie,
Please listen to the majority here.
You are only hearing Evan's side. He / she / THEY got those beautiful children somehow.
It's wrong, you know it's wrong.
He's Married.
springtime GG
Welcome to the forum.
Get your 10 posts in and join the FAB. :)
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Hi Gracie,
i agree with others here.
any how there are 100's of single cd out there...
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Gracie, very well put! The best thing you can do for your friend is to be a good friend for him/her. But tread very cautious as if his wife finds out there will be hell to pay for everyone.
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Plenty of unattached CDs
...if it's the CDing that appeals to you.
Staying married is important, and apparently hard to do, according to the statistics.
Plenty of fish in the "C"
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He's snared dear,
Cut you fishing line on that one
Go out trollin' and get one that ain't hooked yet.
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Gosh Gracie! There are a ton of single CDers here. Sounds like this guy is on the rocks. I know you like him and all that, but there's lots of guys to like. And you'll inherit his "baggage", i.e., ex-wife, kid visitation, etc., etc. You don't want to be responsible for that sort of thing, do you?
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Welcome to our site. But, as others have said in so many words...move on with your life. If down the road his marriage fails you can then try to pick things up if there is still an interest. But, DO NOT BE THE CAUSE. That will lead to certain failure.
Sometimes because something is not available it makes your urges stronger, but for the wrong reasons. I wish you well. :hugs:
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Gracie fill out your profile and I am sure that there is a CD here who would love to get to know you. I think all of the advice about Evan was spot on and please think about the greater picture even when he can not. The pink fog can cloud the best of us. Good luck.
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Space
I'm thankful that you are moving on, and you've joined here, cause there are plenty of single "gals" here that would love to have someone like you!!!:)
People in a relationship that start providing intimate greviences, hurts, and wishes outside the relationship with another are tossing red flags up as to their ability to actually work on a relationship with their partner. The first focus is to resolve the relationship's issues, then move on from there. That's what Evan needs to do. The only help you can provide is to tell him to fix what he's got first, then let him have the space to do so.
:sad:Affairs always turn out to be very nasty and painful. They always carry an unbelievable amount of emotional hurt. Acute emotional hurt. It's the kind you could never even wish on your worst enemy. The outcome is almost always more devastation then happiness.