Just some sharing after my dad died. About dressing elderly.

For several years, my dad had slowly gone downhill. At age 89, was still driving, then fell, and had gone downhill, A once strong person now too frail to even feed his face. he died last night, at 95. I see myself in him, and i dod not think i will last that long. I see, that I had better enjoy life some now, and dress up, while i have the health to do so, also my bicycling, fishing, driving, shooting basketballs. How time flies by. I got here six years ago to help my dad, and it seems like just three yrs! And now he is gone! Time does seem to go faster as we age. I can see , that when i am in the shape he has been in the last four years, there would be no way i could dress myself, or walk. Very sobering, but i will be like him all too soon. Enjoy dressing much, and everything else, because we are soon elderly. Just sharing. Thanks.

I share your thoughts;
Some one once told me;
At 5 years old, time goes by at 5 MPH
At 60 years old, time goes by at 60 MPH.
Now that I an almost 70, Just how much faster can
time go by.
I saw my Dad, Uncle and Grand Father all get rather weak
in their last days. I can only hope I do not get to that point.
A long time ago, I was The Carpenter Foreman on a Nursing Home Project.
Every one working on the site all admitted that it was just a warehouse for
the elderly. I can only hope I do not end up in one.
Rader

Alice so sorry for your loss, I've read how you talked about your dad here and how he was not as wonderful a dad as we all hope for, but you being a good son knew you had to take care of him and that is true love that you had for him.
May your day be blessed.
Leigh

Trying to not ball, but thank you Rader, and Leigh. My family was full of pity, but little love. Rader, you are so right! My mom was in a nursing home three years, and you are so right! They are warehouses for the elderly, dying. I used to take my two cats in there, for some patients to pet and hold. It made some of them's day! My thread was to say how quick life is, even though painful moments seem to go on forever. I have seen my dad, and others in nursing homes, not as old, unable to dress themselves. Makes me realize, i better enjoy dressing, and whatever, because that time is coming for me, too. Bummer.

My condolences, I have just lost my mother not to long ago and she was in a care facility and her time finally came at the age of 93.Yes our time will come but now I feel that we should all enjoy our time while we can and if that means "dressing up" than so be it, kind of makes you wonder if you can find a facility(when and if you need one) that will accept this part of you and let you express it freely and help when need to dress.

Alice,
It's sad to say but I know you have been waiting for this time, he is was your flesh and blood but like you I didn't have a good relationship with my father, I'm afraid he wasn't missed for long.
All you can do is say you're not going to be the same person as him !
You are younger than me by a couple of years and I've just started to really enjoy my dressing so don't think it's all over yet , I hope I have a few more years , I know I can't catch up but it will be fun trying.

Alice can ride a bike, fish if she likes and do all the other things you enjoy , don't let the rest of the family hold you back now, you've done your bit for your dad so think of it as your life now and enjoy the freedom.

Please PM me if you want to chat more , if I could buy a drink I'd be happy to if it could cheer you up at this difficult time .

After reading what you have taken the time to write for so long, it is hard to convey condolences but I'll do so anyways. Loss is loss. I'm sure you are feeling bittersweet right now. Take the time to grieve and reflect as much, or as little as you need. Either way, it is OK. When you are ready to move on, take back your life and live it to the fullest. Are you truly able to move on as you have dreamed of doing?

One day at a time, is all we got. Yesterday morning, almost got involved in a severe crash. Someone pulled around to pass, on the two lane on a curve, and here comes a vehicle! The passers missed the other vehicle by less than 20 feet. May have been in the land of the dead before my dad was, yesterday!

My deepest condolences, Alice. Be well ...

It's incredible how fast life can come and go. I recently lost my uncle at 64, my grandma is 96 and she is falling downhill fast.
At only 20, it's something that really makes you think. I try to live my life how I want to live it, as I know it can be over rather quickly.
Sorry for you loss. <3

You've done your duty to your family, Alice. Don't let your brothers or your sister suck you into anything else. You deserve a chance to live the rest of your life without any interference from anyone. Move away from the toxic folks and enjoy what life you have left.

I'd just like to add my condolences, Alice.
Blessings
G

Sorry for your loss. Grieve, think about how and where you wish to spend the next 20+ years of your life, then MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Alice, I went though that with my parents. Life is short and we are aging. Take care of yourself and get to an area that you re more comfortable in. you have given enough to your family and it time for you to take care of yourself.

Hi, Alice
So sorry to hear about your loss. Just want to wish you all the best.

Alice, sorry for your loss. Marshalynn

Hi Alice,

Very sorry for your loss.

Hugs,
Diane

So sorry for your loss. May God comfort you during this time of grieving, and may He bless you always. You certainly fulfilled your duty as your father's child; my utmost respect to you for that.

Alice, so sorry for your loss. I lost my father suddenly 8 years ago, so you had time to say goodbye. Having read many posts involving your family, I know this will be tough time for you dealing with them, but soon Alice will have her time to finally be free.
Hugs, Ellen

Thanks for sharing your news Alice. A great many people care about you, though few (if any?) of us have met you, still we feel we know you and are glad to know you.

A milestone indeed, the passing of your father. You gave up much to come and help him in his final years: I hope that opportunities now open up for you to enjoy life more on your own terms.

Very best wishes,

Nikki

My thoughts are with you, Alice. Yes, you need to enjoy life every day. When my Father retired, all he wanted to do was be in his garden. He enjoyed that for nearly 30 years. Time did stand still for him.

Alice,

Yes, so sorry to read this. But you make a wonderful point -- there comes a time when we realize that we haven't got all that much time left, so we have to make the best of that time. Makes me think that for 50+ years I missed doing what girls and women did -- have to make up (pun untended...) for lost time....

Alice, Sorry to hear of your loss.
I understand how you felt about your dad and hope that your life will now start to improve, you have made many sacrifices for your family and now it is your time so put on your best frock and enjoy.
Best Wishes

Martina

I am sorry to hear of your fathers passing Alice.
Having read your words, about your family relations, for a long time, I am not sure if you consider it a loss or not, but regardless of that, it is a milestone in your life.

At such a time, it is worth thinking back on the good times of the past. No matter how negative the relations with your father might have seemed in later years, there is almost certainly at least a few good memories to cherish. Go look for those and make them what you hold on to.
Dont look at the years you spent helping your father as lost or wasted, think of them as paying your dues to your parent. You knew to do the right thing, looking after him, nomatter how ungrateful the task may have seemed, and you need to know that many look up to you for that.

And now: Go fishing! Spend time doing what you want and love. Dont waste time looking back, that is not where you are going!

I, for one, am looking forward to reading your posts in the future.

Hugs
Suzie

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nikkilovesdresses

A milestone indeed, the passing of your father. You gave up much to come and help him in his final years: I hope that opportunities now open up for you to enjoy life more on your own terms.

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I think Nikki said it for me... I'm sorry for you as you will surely feel sorrow at his passing, but I can't be hypocritical and not feel (as others here) that this is now an opportunity for you to be a little more as you need to be for yourself, rather than for others... :hugs:

Grasp what you can of life while it's within reach - it can be tenuous for some at the best of times...

Katey x