How do you cope?

Following a conversation earlier on in the week a question has occured to me. How do you cope with your disphoria?

I cope with my disphoria usually by trying to see the funny side of things, yet I do also take it very seriously. I feel this coping mechanism stops me from cracking up totally. I take the p*** out of myself also. Sometimes this gets up other peoples noses and I feel I have to explain that I am not putting the disphoria down or indeed their disphoria down, I just choose to find a lighter side to it. Am I making sense? I cant say this method is perfect and I never let things get to me, I do get angry and sad about things especially when my depression takes me over.

I was wondering how others cope with this and how you feel about someone such as myself who uses their sense of humour to deal with this?

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Originally Posted by Punkster

I was wondering how others cope with this and how you feel about someone such as myself who uses their sense of humour to deal with this?

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Laughter is the best medicine, right? I have to use humor a lot to cope with lots of things, not just my dysphoria. I say, whatever works for you - if it helps, keep doing it, if it doesn't, try something else.

As for me, I use all kinds of different things to help me cope 'cause what works one day, may not work the next day. And some days nothing works at all - that's when I withdraw and pull up the covers. :sad:

I think you should keep doing whatever helps you, dude. :thumbsup:

i use humour to cope i also take the piss out of myself sometimes to cope.

When it gets real bad i can have a few days of just staying in my room.

i find for me if im down i can go for a drive music loud and it helps me think things thu

It depends on how bad it really is on what works. For mild cases, a nice face shave with cologne and some of my nicer clothes can really do wonders. Other days, loading up Titan's Quest (my kill stuff game I play) and taking it out on monsters helps. And yet other times it's just hiding in bed and waiting for the moment to pass. My moods, for better or worse though, tend to be like a light switch. I can easily go one way or another in or out of a mood.

Sometimes, just getting dressed in my guy clothes is enough.

I can often track my level of dysphoria by how far I need to take everything. Some days, I wear a sports bra even to go out to the store, some days I need my binder just to sit in my room. Whether or not I'm packing that day also sorta shows me how dysphoric I'm feeling. So doing those things does help me cope, to some extent.

I try to celebrate the small things - passing even for a short time, not getting carded and having to out myself, etc.

I find that if the dysphoria is only mild-ish, if I take more care over My appearance (like Tristan, a shave, and I will make sure I look good, you know, clean and neat clothes, tidy hair, that sort of thing) that tends to help a little bit. If it's a bit worse than that, I tend to avoid putting Myself in situations that I know will trigger it (speaking to people that I know are not trans-friendly for example, or being in environments where there is a lot of focus on bodies). Regardless of how my dysphoria is on any given day, I NEVER leave the house without binding and packing because I just CAN'T.

But if it's REALLY bad (which it seems to be more frequently now that I am on T), all I can do is basically curl up in a ball, pretty much avoid EVERYTHING because I know that the tiniest little thing will trigger it worse, and wait till it settles down a bit (it never goes away).

Humour often works for Me with other things, but not with My dysphoria because its something that is right at the core of who I am and no matter what happens I just can't ever see a funny side to it. Like Cai I tend to also focus on the little things to try to find a positive (like being called "mate" or noticing My sideburns or something that others might find silly and insignificant, but to Me those things are SO utterly important because they ARE outward, visible indicators of My masculinity and when you are a guy stuck in a girl's body, you tend to grab whatever small thing you can get and run with it because you sure as hell don't get much when you are dysphoric!)

I can certainly relate to the magic feeling of a shave, even when you only have two whiskers that have been affectionately named Fred and George lol.

I also will not leave the house if I am at not at the very least binding, I just cant do it. Partly because its like I think these huge things that protude from my chest are hideous and scarey looking and partly because I feel more like myself.

In saying that I have days where I cant set foot outside the door regardless of binding and packing. Im not entirely convinced this is due to my disphoria alone but down to other mental problems I have. also

I have to admit that there is nothing quite like my "mango" for feeling like I fit in with the other men. Its very satisfactory to stand facing the urinals although the smell in some gents toilets are horrendous lol.

I think though that laughter is indeed the best medicine and I will continue to use it as my coping mechanism. *Flexes small but not too insignifacant muscles in an exaggerated manner*.

OK this is really bothering me what do you guys mean by dysphoria, I really thought it meant something else so now I'm confused :(

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Originally Posted by metalguy639

OK this is really bothering me what do you guys mean by dysphoria

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Gender Dysphoria...not at peace mentally with the body you have, to whats in the mind

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Originally Posted by metalguy639

OK this is really bothering me what do you guys mean by dysphoria, I really thought it meant something else so now I'm confused :(

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Damien,

My therapist defines dysphoria as the opposite of euphoria. And gender dysphoria is as Kieron described.

For me I have always used humour to deal with the toughest situations in my life. I learned to laugh at myself from a young age cos I realized that if I couldn't do that I had no chance of gettin on in the world and the many different types of peeps out there and the many digfferent situations I would face.So thats how I deal with my gender issues and my disphoria. It doesn't always work but 95% of the time it does :) xx Felix :hugs:

I have spent so long trying to fit in by being a wife/mother/woman none of which I did well. (Maybe an ok parent though :heehee: )
Managing to cope now that I finally have started the transition is just a matter of gritting my teeth, standing tall (even though I want to sink into a hole in the floor) and a good pair of sunglasses! (so no one can see the fear in my eyes!) and bottling it up. Maybe one day I will be able to laugh about this - and find someone to laugh about it with.