She doesn’t even window shop!

I have been going out in public virtually from day one of my crossdressing. The majority of the outings were with other crossdressing friends from the local crossdressing social group. Due to my hopping on every opportunity to do something in the early years, I became the one to be always asked to go out. A few of those friends have been well seasoned in going out before I joined the group.

One of those seasoned friends had a website/blog where she described and displayed pictures of her outings. The majority of the outings were to the mall to “shop”. She would often mention how the people’s reaction was to her and not much about the activities. Well if you noticed earlier I put the word shop in quotations, the reason being that every time I joined her in an activity she didn’t really partake in the activity. I would be the one going thru the racks at the stores, reading the information plaques at museums, enjoying the art at the galleries while she is busy taking pictures (selfies and of me) or “stand and modelling”. Quite obvious that she takes great joys in being just out, reading people’s reaction and not really doing the activity.

I have come across several other crossdressing folks that tend to be similar. I have become quite selective in recent years and tend to just to accept invites from the folks that actually partake in the activities.

My question is do you want to be just in the public eye or do you actually do the activity?

Easy answer, both. I've seen your photos before and the historical stuff you're into looks so cool, I'd love to be part of that. Historical cosplay type stuff would even be fun for me in male mode, but I'd much prefer girl mode. We have a historical reenactment here every Fall. The soldiers marched by in all their splendor and I thought, wow that would be awesome, then there were so many women in amazing French colonial era dresses and I thought, that would be better.

Last night I swung by Goodwill on my way to an activity and found a cute dress and tossed in in the front seat of my car. In the parking lot I kept hoping someone would notice it and ask me about the dress. after finishing the ride the group all went to a restaurant, I so wanted to slip on the dress.

Chantal,

At first the excitement of simply being out was enough to satisfy my needs. As things normalised I realisied that just looking at rack after rack of clothes started to loose it's edge. Since then I do things that have a purpose. If I clothes shop it's with something in mind. A blouse or top to go with a skirt I already have. To go somewhere I haven't been before. Interactions with folks happen naturally and that's the way it should be. I'm certainly not looking for a reaction other that one they'd give with anyone else.

I guess I have a split T personality! I like to participate in whatever activity/event I attend. :daydreaming:

Then, I also like to take a few photos of Sherry there!:battingeyelashes:

I am a little of both. I don't go out just to be seen. But when I do, I like to take a picture or two because as they say "Pictures, or it didn't happen.".

I enjoy just going out but I also like to notice reactions to see how I am doing. Am I passing or just being ignored which is Ok. I do go through the racks and occasionally hit the changing room. Like you said interaction just happens. The truth seems to be nobody cares.
Just get out and enjoy yourself

Whether I'm dressed or not, I'm pretty much always focused more on the activity than on people watching.

Mark me down for activity! I seldom take pics anymore and just enjoy the activity! Acceptance is an added bonus but being ignored is OK too! Hugs Lana Mae

Some progress at a very slow rate or not at all.

Everyone is different, with different circumstances.

Sounds like you have moved on to a place where you are comfortable being out in public.

I understand wanting to be with others that have the same level of confidence/ experience.

Still as long as you treat them as outings that's how they will stay. Nothing wrong with it, and if you are in the closet it is a good way to treat them.

Because when it all becomes normal you can kiss that closet goodbye.

When I have the chance to go out, I prefer to go with a purpose. Shopping for groceries, or for clothing. If I'm going to be out, I want to get something accomplished, but it is so much more fun to do everyday errands dressed in something nice and blending, than to be in drab. I was out making the rounds of the grocery stores the other day (makeup, wig, capris and a cute t-shirt over my bra and forms). I was referred to as ma'am twice by women after verbally interacting with them. That really gives my spirits a lift.

The first time I ventured out I was so focused on watching others to see if they were watching me that I completely missed the shopping part of the trip.

Over time I relaxed and no longer care if people are watching me. I'm there and if that bothers some then that is something they must deal with. I shop because I want to or need something. I eat at a restaurant because I'm hungry and so on. I've always tried to blend in. I realize that most of the time I don't "pass" and that's just fine.

Chantal,
I just go out and live it . I've rarely if ever taken pictures while out shopping and doing my errands because I do it everyday .

Taking selfies or asking people to take pictures tends to give the game away if you just want to integrate in the RW . It's differnt if you are out for a more special event .

I’m not interested in being in the public eye. Its the life experience I enjoy. Not that I want to be totally alone...I like being in the real world and interacting with others.

Kim,
It is the life experience and socializing that I am interested in as well. The majority of those experiences just so happens to be out in the public!

Teresa,
Your mindset is what I expected from those folks that go about each and every day living as a full time crossdresser or transitioning/transitioned and those of us who “have been there and done that” numerous times. Most of my outings haven’t been documented with pictures or write ups as they weren’t all that particularly special to me or if it was a special outing I and friends just plain out forgot as we were all tied up enjoying the experience. There have been numerous fun experiences that my best friend Mutt and I question each other if we had taken any portrait pictures and came up empty with only the scenic/stage pictures Thankfully on some of the steam train outings there usually is atleast one friend that loves taking pics.

Cheryl,
I have the opinion that many folks here were like you with their focus on watching others and not really taking in the experience. From day one I was nearly oblivious to others reactions until a year or so later a trans friend (not the same friend as I had in the OP, as she didn’t care about passing but more for the acceptance) pointed out the reactions to me. Wish she wouldn’t have pointed it out and given me “passing” advice as it hampered the fun I had with my crossdressing and on my outings for nearly a year. The stress of dressing to succeed in “passing” and focusing on people’s reactions literally sucked the life out of the fun. Prior and after that “passing focused” time the negative reactions and confrontations were not so in my face as they were during that stressful time.

Gracie Rose and Helen
I too prefer to have a purpose especially when doing something like a shopping trip. My shopping mates now days tend to have a purpose to find something as well.

Jean,
You are absolutely right about the different progression rates and everyone being different. I don’t care about being with folks on the same “level” as me, I love socializing with all no matter if they have experience on going out or not. With friends like the one I described in the OP, I tend to be selective in the type of outings to invite her to or acceptance in her invitations for me to join her. I would go to see a play or coffee with her, just wouldn’t go shopping. My dressing up and going out are still outings to me as it isn’t all that normal, always something special about them! Btw, I have been out of the closet for years with all the folks within my social circle and family knowing about my crossdressing interests.

Lana Mae and Madi
Awesome, taking an interest in the activity that you are there for tends to be more satisfying.

Sallee,
I do respect folks that just enjoy going out, but personally if someone invites me to join them in a specific activity I at least expect them to do the activity! If they just want to people watch or be out, okay then lets grab a cup of coffee and walk around the park!

Roberta, Sherry, and Sarah
When going on planned outings I tend to enjoy having pictures taken especially when done up in my Victorian dresses. I tend to come across an event, activity, or place that I have an interest in and plan it. Then after the arrangements are made I may have a thought of “oh geez it would be great to dress up in Victorian dress or something for it” to sweeten the experience. Taking in the experience is the priority, the making it more fun with dressing up for it is secondary, and picture taken is just the cherry to add to the top! Some of the best and my most favourite pictures are the ones where a friend catches me unaware while I am in the middle of the experience.

PC...I agree. Perhaps I could have been more clear by saying that I’m not seeking public attention or notice, per se., but experiencing life with my friends involves being out in the world.

Kim,
Thanks for the clarification. Reading of your forum contributions over the years I took your original posting as something similar as you clarified