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I've gone out some times. It's gotten to the point where I get bored with it. I've tried anything I can think of. I run errands, exercise, drive around... whatever, but it gets to the point that I've got nothing else to do unless I want to just go to a mall and walk around just to be seen. What do you guys do to be out?
Hi Laurie :hugs:, Sometimes you just have to step back and smell the Roses, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**
Lunch and dinners out, wine, beer or a harder drink at a bar of your choice, movies, theaters, museums, sports events, etc. Do whatever you do in male mode as a female and own it. It is a lot of fun and always changing. Just enjoy yourself and have fun.
I find what u do, not only boring but stressful, Laurie.:sad:
But, I've been having a great time the last few months going out dressed to both gay and vanilla bars and clubs! The women r very accepting and even straight men have been supportive! Dance, drink, chat! Have fun! Repeat!:heehee:
Of course, It helps to have T or vanilla pals to go out with!:hugs:
Listen to the lady! She has got it figured out!Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieSF
Allied hits the nail right on the head. I'd add use public transport, sitting next to people on trains and buses I've often struck up a conversation with someone. Even got chatting with a Dutch couple who were over visiting their daughter at university while waiting for a train on my way to explore a town I'd only ever been to once before.
I do try to get away from being cocooned in the car if I can. I do realise however that there's differences in scale in the US.
Going out solo grows old. Quickly. Find opportunities to interact with other humans. Attend community events, workshops, or meet people with similar interests online and then plan to meet with them in person. I have been to church services dressed, taken ceramic and glassblowing workshops, etc. Start out slow and work your way up towards the edge of your comfort level.
CD events? Wildside and Divas will be held in LV in October simultaneously.
It used to be that I'd look for things to do just to be out dressed doing Something.
For the last few years and especially with the last year and all the quarantine time I've come to feel that I don't need Something to do to be me. I'm always me anymore and whatever I'm doing is satisfying. I've come to be comfortable just being me all the time and not having to do anything in particular. I always wanted to just be the "average woman" and I guess I've reached that point in my mind.
Laurie,
It depends on what you are after. As with many of us, it may have begun as sexual, which wanes eventually. But, there are many other reasons we dress, and many other reasons we seek activities dressed. Some of mine are, Adrenaline, Dopamine, Serotonin, which I made a post on. The adrenaline is also waning, which is good, because I am less likely to take risks which may put me into harm. Also, I am now happier with the dopamine (pleasure) and serotonin (mood, well being) affects. As I accept more of myself, I feel less need to satisfy the A, and love the feeling of the D and S.
Julie
The point is to do things that youenjoy.
At the end of the day, it's what you experienced, and what you felt.
Think about somethings you'd like to do....sounds like you have the courage to do them as a woman too.
What a marvelous gift.
When I first realized I could actually do this thing, I thought I had to keep myself confined to the house. Being confined to the house began to feel as repressive as decades of denying the desire to dress. So, I timidly stepped out into my fenced backyard for a few minutes, then grew bold enough to enjoy a glass of wine on the patio. Sure enough, soon the backyard felt like confinement as well, and I discretely stepped out the front door after dark, strolled along the darkened street for a few minutes. These expeditions into the greater world were initially exhilarating, but soon felt as limiting as the closet, the house and the backyard.
I still remember the first step out into daylight, followed a few minutes later by getting into my car and driving to the mall. The point was not to shop, or be seen, as to be present in and a part of the real world. I soon was spending every day in female mode, whether at home or on errands?even a trip to the dry cleaners was made special by being out.
My aspiration has always been and remains not so much to be seen as to blend in among other women in everyday life. The destination is secondary.
For me personally, I am entering a totally and completely new chapter of my life, pretty much by myself and alone.
This new chapter is going to be centered around allowing my female side to be the dominant expression of who I am and who I will be from here on.
I'll allow a few close friends into my personal "bubble" and share openly with them my female side as we as my bi sexual side centering on my female self, if this makes and sense.
It's going to be an interesting journey and process for sure because I have no idea where I am going and what will come into my life as well.
Makeup is going to be my main base of activity and from that point, everything thing else will flow forward.
It's going to be an intense and interesting experience and one that will help get me back on track.
Laurie, I go to dinner, clubs and meetings.
I stay in the house when I dress and completely relax and unwind----"Taking a vacation from myself" Where I separate from both my own worries and responsibilities and those of simply being a male. Its a sexual turn on also and feels FUN to 'Look pretty". My other activity is to take pictures of myself in different poses and looks.---The more "Impossibly" DIFFERENT I can make myself from my male self, the MORE fun and rewarding the photography is.----Its why I have no qualms against posting my dressed photos. not only am I proud, I also deem myself totally unrecognizable. ---------------- I find it interesting that many CDers claim to dress "To be the real ME While I dress to NOT be ME. There are others like myself here too, but we are not heard from as much on this forum.----There are just different kinds of CDing. We look the same on the surface, but have a different psyche driving us.
it depends a lot on where you are at personally. Are you new to going out in public and just want to be seen and accepted or or you pushing boundaries to try to interact with people or making a political or social statement.
1. If you dress occasionally, try to dress up for longer periods. Try a full day, or a full week or longer and dont just hide at home. Do your normal routine but as a woman.
2. Get a full manicure with nails extensions and color, keep them for a week or longer even if you don’t fully dress as a female. How long can you wear them, my record is seventeen days. Go to work with pretty nails, hang out with your neighbors.
3. If you don’t consider yourself TG but a crossdresser, try dressing in women’s clothes but still present as male. There is no reason men can’t wear a skirt or dress or heels. Help normalize removing gender from clothing.
4. If you want to interact with people get dressed, go to a park with a table and chairs and put up a sign saying I’m a crossdresser, ask me anything, and talk to people.
I addition to other things like routine shopping and just waking around town....
I also go to the other end of town and go to a laundromat ....and often do my grocery shopping... as a female
BTW, i live in apt complex
In my case, just going out to be seen got old quickly. It gets boring, not to mention that it's very unlikely to see women wandering around public areas alone. For whatever reason, they usually travel with company. When there is one riding solo, she usually is on a specific mission or task.
You can find friends to hang out with while dressed, and that can range from other CDs or women all the way to male admirers.
You can also find community based activities where you get to interact within a group setting. For example, I have done the paint and vino thing a few times, took a pottery class,
volunteered for an event organized by a community nonprofit, attended church services, things like that.
I wrote about what I've done here--plus a boatload of shopping, which I do enjoy.
https://www.kandis-land.com/bucket-l...ked-%e2%9c%94/
If you want an experience, go to the feed store in a skirt and then let the hulking 20 year old carry the bags out to your truck.
So don't dress. Leave the pretty clothes alone until you want them back. You never signed a contract obligating you to dress a certain amount of time. None of us are holding a knife to your throat. If you don't feel like dressing, don't. Only dress when you feel it will lift you up. Leaving it alone will probably refresh the way you feel.
Well, what do you WANT to do? There is a whole world of activities out there. People do them every day. There’s no hidden “crossdresser activities” you’re missing out on. I think a lot of girls here see dressing as an end instead of a means. For me crossdressing is just the way I express myself while I do things I enjoy. If you see the dressing as the activity itself, I can see how that would get boring.Quote:
Originally Posted by laurie103
@Mickki_Finn.
So well said! Tyvm for the Fresh perspective, as I am one of those girls you speak of fo sure!
I was there before. Yeah I day to dress must go out do things. After a doing things I'd look for something anything to do just to be out dressed. Now that I'm in transition it's just clothes and not a big deal. I just do life. I know it's different for a cross dresser but I hope it can change some day. I mean we have an open transgender miss USA contestant as Miss Nevada now.
I told my girls when they were young and complained of being bored, "Maybe you're bored because you're boring?":devil:
I'm 78 and can count the times I been bored on the fingers of my time in the Army! :doh:
I've having the time of my life now, out at clubs and bars with everything open up again!:)
And, partying as Sherry is 100X more fun than partying as a 78 y/o man!:tongueout
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!:heehee: