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I?ve only ventured out in fancy dress (at a festival) and briefly late at night, but very keen for a proper day out! The big problem is our estate, where we know all the neighbours, makes it hard to get out the front door! My girlfriend is up for a weekend away in a hotel and dressing for the whole time...any tips about how to approach this? Small town? Big city? Kind of clothes for the first venture out?
The choices are all yours based on your interests, personal likes and age can be a factor as well. One might expect to go out dancing into the wee hours where another would prefer a road trip with stops at shops and antique stores. One of our favorite trips is a sleepy little Midwestern US river town Galena, Illinois, with a long row of shops on main street and the Mississippi River nearby offering some nice scenery. I am dadt but if I was able to make those kinds of trips en femme my interests would not change. The Norwegian museum in northeast Iowa has been another destination we enjoy. My likes would probably elicit eye rolls from those who like to drink and dance so it illustrates my point that it's an individual choice.
Make a list of five things that you think would be fun and discuss them with your SO. I'm sure you will be able to narrow it down and make a decision if you both consider exactly what kinds of things you enjoy and which one fits the allotted time and budget.
The choice is yours. Have fun.
Don’t pack any male clothing. That makes it impossible to chicken out. Bring the outfits you like the most, and make sure you have enough of everything for the whole trip. Bring lots of razor blades. You might need to shave more than once a day. Don’t forget your makeup. Buy a makeup kit if you don’t have one. Don’t forget your purse. Actually, the whole thing is pretty simple. Most of it is obvious.
I’ve been on many femme trips it’s fun.
I like the suggestion of traveling without any male clothes. Bring an assortment of casual attire and something a bit fancier for dinner and drinks in the evening, if that?s on the agenda. Given current circumstances you want to for us most of your activities in the outdoors and less crowded venues, like museums, parks, zoos and historical sites.
You might even consider a road trip from wherever you are towards a larger city...stopping at interesting locales along the way.
For that first outing, definitely go to blend, not to stand out. You will feel much more at ease.
I'd say Big City. People there are generally more involved in their own happenings and less likely to care.
Also, if you're concerned about being seen by someone you know then make it a city at least 50 miles away.
Wear what you like. Just make it appropriate for where you decide to go. Don't wear jeans and a tank top to the opera or a fancy gown to Walmart or you'll end up on Facebook.
Lily,
I see you're new here so i guess you've not yet read one of my many re-tellings about my time spent away from home enfemme. I'm sure it's at this point regulars are going, oh no, not again but anyway here goes.
I'm in the closet to all and a number of years ago I started having a week away on my own renting isolated cottages with a view to getting more dressing time and getting out and about. In the early days it was a tentative series of small steps that over the years became full on, get out there, look out shops here I come dressing. Being away from home, away from people who might know me made it easier but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't nervousness involved.
So my top tips. Hotel is a start but it might be worth Googling LGBT friendly hotels, guest houses as a way of reducing any pressure. Renting your own place, especially somewhere quiet, gives you total freedom. Start with driving dressed, it gives you time to let the nerves settle and definitely no Dutch courage. Drive throughs are a good way to experience that first one to one encounter, using an ATM is another quick way of gaining that little bit more confidence. Another is putting fuel in the car and paying in the shop but pay at pump can be a way to start.
As others have said, dress to blend. The right outfit, a wig, half decent makeup job, flat/sensible heeled shoes and you'll be surprised just how little folks look your way. It's the old adage, if it walks , quacks and looks like a duck, then it's a duck. The same applies to us. The more you resemble the other GG's around you, the less you get noticed. I'm sure others will agree, it can be scary but you'll soon realise it isn't but getting your foundation checked at a makeup counter will improve your look and it's hugely satisfying to do.
It's counter intuitive but busy is best. Think about it, there's you and 5 others in a big hall. You'll look at everyone. You and 300, there's 290 you'll not look at. If you can walk with confidence, not furtively like you're about to shoplift, you will disappear into the crowd. If you go shopping, pick something to shop for. It could be a piece of jewelry, a coat, skirt, whatever, having something to look for gives you a purpose, something to focus on, you're like everyone else, doing what they're doing, you blend. Should you buy something, talk to the SA, they're a person and perhaps bored from working a till all day. having someone talk to them in a friendly way helps you both.
If you go on a weekend remember Friday and Saturday can bring out the knuckle dragging drunks. A restaurant is probably better than a bar especially in a strange town. You can gauge the mood of a restaurant easier than a bar.
Heels; there's always the temptation to wear heels but if you've never walked any distance or spent time out the house wearing them they can soon become instruments of torture. Having a pair of flats or low kitten heels in your bag can be a life saver.
I hope you get to spend time away. Scary at times but pull up your big girl knickers, deep breath, head up, be confident and you'll do fine.
"Don't pack any male clothing."
I like that idea. One of my fantasy day dreams is getting totally en femme at work for Halloween; wig, makeup, the works. Then discovering at the end of the day the women in the office decided to throw my male attire out of the office window and the attire landed on the roof of the building next door. End result? Forced to commute home on public transportation totally en femme. You can achieve the same predicament by only taking the male clothes on your back and ditching them into the hotel's trash. Then you have two choices; en femme or naked. One will definitely get you a night in the "Grey Bar Hotel." The other?????? I only wear dresses. No pants. To me it is a greater challenge to don a dress, heels and hosiery, and all the proper undergarments rather than women's jeans and a feminine top.
I know I am probably projecting a fantasy here, but, hey what else is there to do in Coronaland on an otherwise boring Tuesday morning?
Stop over thinking it and just do it. Pack some comfortable clothes and be a "tourist" for a day. Don't bother making special plans that leaves you open for disappointment. My wife is like that, she has to have everything planned out. But even she agrees that when I am just "whinging it" she always has a good time.
Forget about living out some fantasy and just enjoy your self.
Thanks for all the advice! Think of a medium size town quite a drive away so no chance of bumping into anyone we know. Jeans, flats and top for the day...maybe some heels and a skirt for the evening. Feeling confident about it now but reckon the nerves will really hit when it comes to going out in daylight!
Going out in public dressed as a woman can be quite a thrill for a crossdresser. And if you do it well (wig, boobs and hips, etc.) there isn't a big chance of being recognized unless you have a unique vehicle or go to places where you often go as a guy.
It can get a little more risky if you're out with your wife or girlfriend, because she won't be "disguised". People may recognize her and then you by association. Or they may ask her to introduce you.
It's all a matter of risk vs. reward. If I could get my wife to go out with me (as Krisi) in public in a city a couple hours away by car, I would do it in a minute.
Lily,
I'm going to suggets you try and sneak out in the evening and take a few drives and possibly a safe walk somewhere just to get use to the first feelings . It's great your GF is on board but she may find it difficult if it's totally new to you .
The choice of clothes is difficult to answer , so much depends on where you choose to go and what the weather is doing , a CDer will stand out on a cold day wearing a mini skirt . I'm also assuming you wish to blend in maybe do a little more people watching to check out other GGs . I'm also assuming if it's in the near future you may have to wear a face mask anyway .
Not sure about the advice on not packing drab clothes , it might be advisable if your GF isn't totally on board and she gets cold feet . I also don't agree with Roberta about not overthinking it , planning ahead may save some real heartache if it goes pearshaped .
Bumping into people is an odd feeling , I have walked passed people I have known for years and the penny hasn't dropped , the point is they're not expecting to see you as a woman but you will have your GF with you . How often have some of us travelled halfway round the World only to bump into a near neighbour .
Also plan on forgetting something. It always seems to happen to me. Plan and believe I have everything I need but end up stopping at the drugstore for something!
Whatever you wear...have fun, relax and enjoy!
Joyce,
Not always easy to find spare boobs at a drugstore when I found I'd forgotten mine .
Lily, you said,"OUR estate. Does 'our' mean you are married?
If you are out with your wife or partner and run into an acquaintance, it's game over. They will recognize you instantly. If a close friend sees sme strange tall woman getting out of his buddy's SUV, it's game over. If you have a problem with any of these possibilities, don't go out to places near your home turf.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
Gonna be in Vegas this weekend alone and plan to try this myself. We'll see if I can make it the entire time or if I chicken out at some point (plan on leaving the boy bag in the rental car). I'm pretty much DADT as well. I wish it wasn't so hot there right now as I can't fully shave so my clothing choices are limited