One Girl's Coming Out Story

My wife and two daughters know of my crossdressing. My wife has been part of this from the beginning, Mid-August 2019. There were lots of hints before that of this oddness inside me. And we still haven't figured out exactly what triggered Jessie Mae's full epiphany.
My wife and I both agreed that at some point it would be wise to let the girls in on it (both are in their 30's and married). Especially the youngest who lives in the same town. Couldn't have her stopping by unannounced some Saturday and NOT finding dad, but Jessie. But we weren't quite ready.

For some reason that escapes me now, it seemed like a good idea for Jessie to have her own Facebook account and to have a photo album. She only had two friends (boy me and wife), what could possibly go wrong? On October 8th I started uploading some photos my wife had taken of me. (Did I mention I'm 64 and hate Facebook and don't really understand how it works?). These popups kept appearing asking if I wanted to tag "boy-me" in the pictures. I thought I'd click no each time?..

Later that day, at exactly 4:14, a text arrives from my oldest "Saw your pictures on Facebook!" (:eek: pictures?, what pictures?)

"Oh? What'd you think?" was my sheepish reply.

"Interesting. Is this a new look?"

I tried to explain how this was another aspect of me, blah, blah blah.
She explained to me that I had tagged my boy-self! Panic!!! Frantically I started deleting pictures on FB. And after a few more texts we scheduled a phone call for later.

The first thing I said was "Do you have any questions?" She asked if I was still going to be dad or if Jessie was going to show up for Thanksgiving dinner. I assured her that this was only one side of me whose time had come to be expressed, but only in private. Then she mentioned that she had contacted her sister before texting me! Oh, s@#t.

My wife insisted that I talk to our youngest right away. She has her own business, so we scheduled a meeting for the next evening. That was a very long 24 hours. Every possible disaster scenario went through my head. Closing time finally comes, we sit down and I ask "So, what did your sister tell you?" "Oh, she sent me a picture, but we weren't sure who it was." She also asked if she now going to have two moms. Turned out, she was incredibly accepting and supportive.

Now the three most important women in my life know that I am also Jessie Mae. I don't have to worry about how or went to tell them. Facebook (or my ignorance of FB) took care of that.

I am bless with a great wife and two fantastic daughters. So far, so good.

BTW, I don't recommend this method for coming out!

What a wonderful story, JM. Do you have any idea at all as to why you felt the need to express your girl-self in August?

My wife and I were in the car for over an hour last weekend. We went through her calendar/diary book trying to piece the time-line together.
During the week of August 12th I bought my first pair of wedges.

We both remember going to Target to buy me some panties.

Of course looking back over my life, there are hints and clues that She has always been there.
20 years ago when I left the Presbyterian ministry to get a degree in counseling, I started to realize the need to acknowledge the Divine Feminine. Only having a God and no Goddess was not healthy. I think that was what freed me to accept and finally fully embrace the feminine within myself.

What triggered me at this point in my life to let her out into the real world, we still can't remember.
It really is strange. Hopefully, some memories will emerge.

But words cannot express the amazing feelings this coming out has produced.

I am happy your story had such a good ending.

I also have two Facebook accounts and in some ways I am worried about "bleed over", but yet I am not.

Here's a few things I have figured out:

1. You can't "like" the same things on both accounts
2. You can't have the same friends on both accounts
3. You SHOULD set the default privacy setting for all posts to "friends only" (it defaults to public)
4. In fact go through the privacy settings and set everything to "friends only"
5. Be careful with "check in's" and location tagging pictures, again check the privacy settings

So far I only have one friend in both accounts, but he is a gay man and none of my straight friends have him as a friend. But now I see how the bleed over works because now I am seeing his friends as "people you may know" in both accounts. This did not happen before

Also as you have found out pay close attention to the facial recognition algorithm when posting pictures, and make sure you are not tagging the wrong account.

Amen, sister, AMEN!

JessieMae, That could have been a real disaster but you have a fantastic family that have accepted this side of you. You really are a fortunate girl!

Oh dear lord

First off that is a crazy way to come out Jessie! Clearly not planned and it's a wonderful story that everything turned out for the good. Sounds like you have a lovely wife and daughters.

Second I must say....FB is evil. I would never post as Felicia on there for this reason amongst a host of others. The literally take every piece of data and sell it or store it to sell to anyone. No thx. Be careful with FB.

Well, they do call it SOCIAL media, not “Keep Stuff Private Media” lol. Glad everything worked out

It was a terrible way to come out. There was so much fear and panic leading up to my conversations with my daughters. I really feared they might disown me.
And there would have been no one to blame but myself. Thank Goddess (or God) it went as it did.

My ladies are much more wonderful than I deserve.

This social media SNAFU could have been a total disaster. It's exactly the reason Robin does not have a Facebook. I am so happy you have a wonderful accepting and supportive family.

Wow! I can just imagine how stressful this was but I'm glad it all worked out as it did. Perhaps this will become one of those "remember when..." moments you can all laugh about someday.

Much the same thing can happen with e- mails

JAS

So happy for you that your story had such a positive outcome. I can imagine the anxiety induced by your revelation. It would probably rate up there with being confronted with a pair of frilly panties that your cat freed from your secret hiding place upon returning home...

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Originally Posted by CayleeMarie

It would probably rate up there with being confronted with a pair of frilly panties that your cat freed from your secret hiding place upon returning home...

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Or that the cat brought out while the pastor was visiting!!

FB doesn't just use facial recognition, friends lists, and likes to link people. They also use IP address, browser info, email addresses, geographic location & time, click history, and more. When I started my FB account, before I started adding friends, they offered many of my lady's friends. She had used my computer to access her FB account a couple weeks before and, even though she explicitly logged out of it, they found a cookie on my computer, matched up browser info, and I suspect geo-location, and thought I was her. Another time I was at a concert with some friends who I hadn't added yet in FB. Two of them posted pictures of the stage from their phones - no audience pics - and when I signed in on my phone, without even posting anything, FB suggested adding them as friends. Last weekend my lady and I went to a wedding 3 hrs from home. We were both careful not to post anything for 2 days so we didn't reveal our location to someone who wasn't invited but, out of habit, she kept reading FB on her phone as we were driving. We stopped at a tourist destination along the way so I logged in on my phone to check up on a few people we were hoping to see. FB popped up a suggestion that I check in at the place and offered to tag my lady with me, even though neither of us had posted anything.

If you want to keep your femme side truly separate from your male side you'll need to keep them *completely* separate. At the very least, use separate emails, browsers, computer accounts, and preferably incognito browser windows.

That said, Jessie, I'm glad your reveal went so well. It's great that you have such an accepting family. Blessed be!

Blessed be, Jen.

people tell me i should open a Facebook account, this story is why i don't, i want to tell my son, wife does not want me to, personally i think he knows.

i have a business account, they made me add personal one or lose control of that one, made it with the wrong birth date, then they wanted my phone numbers, so zukerburg keeps moving the goal posts. last year all the privacy settings were open for like 24hrs, cant remember....but....i think some info bled out. even with incorrect info it tries to link me with neighbors, relatives.

NOT WORTH IT if you want privacy.

glad it all worked out for you....

Your experience really enforces why I do not have any social media accounts. Yes, I am a senior and find technology rather burdensome. Yes, IP addresses seem to track and throw up information onto the screen about prior visits to sites. This morning I was on Firefox going to Kohl's to look for books. I did not log into any account...I do not have one, but, have bought and perused as a "guest." There it is....a the bottom of the screen.....a selection of panties from a prior "guest" visit. My wife uses Internet Explorer. I have not idea if advertisements are thrown up on her logins based on my peruses. Both of us use an ad blocker. This morning I did order some panties from Beall's (Florida) which were on sale and new colors for my collection of Vanity Fair panties. The "auto fill" feature threw up my wife's information including email account. If I had not checked before ordering information would have gone to her. Technology is not necessarily your friend. Even data from this site is not 100% secure. There are times when I have not logged onto this site and have inputted the site name or cross dressers and hit "google images" and have found some of your posted pictures which enables one to follow right to this site.

PS: I decided after posting this response to check the email account I created for the sole purpose of receiving information/contacts from this site. My login/user name is actually a complete sentence. You'd think I would not receive any junk emails. I only respond to the girls here on the site. Well, there is unwanted junk and an offering for a company offering a line of women's bras. These solicitations have not appeared in my other email accounts. I can only take away from these intrusions that nothing is 100% private.

I have my GUY FB, and no other... no photos of me in 'pretty' exist anywhere except on my phone. I heard long ago of the possible perils from social media. I don't even visit sisters' FB accounts for the same reason.

Geez Jessie Mae , I was having anxiety about it just reading. I?d probably die a thousand times. So happy it ended well for you. My wife knows and for the foreseeable future I?ll keep it at that.
~Joss

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Originally Posted by Stephanie47

Your experience really enforces why I do not have any social media accounts. ...

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Thank you for saying it so well. I don't have any social media accounts other than LinkedIn and Twitter for professional purposes only. Neither has my picture attached.

It is stories like this that remind me of the basic premise of using Facebook: if you have used FB even once on your computer, even just to read a message from them, everything that has ever appeared on that computer is now fair game to FB. That includes your contact with any other computer. It is why I avoid FB. I have an account from long ago, but I do not use it any more.

Read their user agreement if you doubt me, all the legal gobbledegook. You will find that they admit all this and, by your use of FB, even only once, they have your consent to it. Google has the same stuff in their user agreements.

I now get evidence my activity on my work computer. FB is not on my work computer but I once foolishly read a message there from my wife posted through FB. Now they clutter my desktop with their annoying “notifications”. Avoid FB like the plague that it is. Delete your cookies and history regularly and often. And deny FB your computer?s location in your settings.

You have some great lady's in your life. You are truly blessed. :hugs:
Angie

JessieMae, Welcome to the forum. Congrats on having such an accepting family.

Facebook sucks that way. I tried setting up a separate account as April. I didn't even have an account as my drab self. Before I had even finished registering the account, it came up with suggested connections to my drab self's coworkers. I immediately stopped and tried to cancel the account. I wasn't able to do so. It is just languishing somewhere in limbo.

If you don't think they are greedy for your data, and just see you as a commodity, try canceling an account. No way any siri or alexa type device is ever coming into my house.

I should add that this didn't happen because I had 2 accounts. It is because it was on a shared computer with my wife's account.