Feeling thoughtful and looking towards the rest of 2019

Hi there

After my brush with death earlier this year I have been left wondering how to change a lot of aspects about my life.

One of reasons I come here is because talking to all of you really helps. After dragging my poor wife into the closet in 2014. We’ve had an up and down relationship on the subject.

My wife was recently away for three days and spent each evening dressed after the little ones were in bed. It left me feeling that I wanted more out of this. The only place in Ottawa I could feasibly attend dressed is a Gender Mosaic meeting but for some reason this scares me half to death. My wife has no interest in attending and the whole going alone for some reason freaks me out I think.

I do have a former work colleague who is transgender who I respect and admire for the crap she has to put up with daily she has thicker skin than me. I’ve thought of telling her but never been able to approach the subject out of fear of rejection.

Feeling thoughtful and a little alone

Rebekah
xxxx

Hello Rebekah ,

The fear is holding you back, as you know. One way to beat that and do more of what you want is to have a good sidekick that will help you while out until you can fly soilo, whether just to the Mosaic meet up or someplace else. If you can, why not call the Mosaic group and see if they have any problem with you attending in male mode until you feel you can be with others while dressed. They may even have a changing room to facilitate changepovers. Overcoming your fears starts with one step at a time, call your former colleague or Mosaic. next step is opening up, probably more to your former colleague. It is really easy at a meet up event with others like yourself. Just remember that we are a spectrum and probably represent every type of person in and out of that spectrum. You will eventually meet all kinds of people, some you like and others not so much. Please consider taking that first step, whatever you may think is best for you. Good luck and enjoy life as best you can.