CD Support Groups

Back in the 80s before mobile phones . I used to attend a local support group in Liverpool. They used to meet on Fridays evenings. There were dressing facilities, storage and I met many fellow CDs. Some married and helped by their wives some not. Most were heterosexual. You contacted them by telephone landline. They offered good advice and gave details of CD friendly local shops and names of local contacts. Sadly the group folded years ago. There is no longer anything much local. Although things have got better over the years I find the latest local support groups have an emphasis on the transgender or gay communities and marginalise CDs. I attended a group several years ago and although welcomed felt like an outsider. Does anybody else find this is the case or is it just where I live?There are other groups but I would have to travel to Manchester , North Wales or Blackpool which isn?t always practical for me.I am interested to know if this is now the case worldwide in society in general.

Can't speak for your area, but in my area of the US it's somewhat similar, or was, as I haven't been to any groups since Covid.
When I came out to my wife we joined a support group the was hetero in nature. It provided a safe haven as well as info about other groups. I did attend some others and found they were predominantly trans oriented. One made me feel at home but another made me feel like being CD wasn't enough. I wasn't trans and therefore was a lower class. I don't know if this is something universal or if it was particular to those in that group, but I have heard of that being more the norm than the exception.

I'm in Orlando Florida and the group we belonged to, many years ago, was based out of Orlando. It was a chapter of the Tri Ess group you can find on the internet. A long time ago membership dropped due to the meeting place being sold (and eventually torn down I'm told). That group survived and moved about a bit but did find a stabile motel to do the monthly meetings. However the lack of a kitchen for "pot luck" style of meetings the membership continued to drop. The group left the CD only group (Tri Ess)somewhere along the way in order to keep the group going with trans members being welcomed in. Now with COVID it has been a real challenge for the group to survive due and did due these core members. Good news is we had our first in person meeting was Nov 13th. All in attendance were happy to see one another. Decembers meeting will be our Christmas party. Looking very forward to it. So in answer to your question. Yes I've felt a little out of place at a few of the meetings with a trans person leading the group when subject matter of trans being the topic when talked about at long length. But we kept going to help the group survive. I'm very glad we did. I know who I am and it's all about support for each other. Everyone understands it isn't a "hook up" group. So we're cool with it.

I am in northern Alabama, I have gone to some Trans led groups, and since I am hetero, and have no desire to change, I to felt out of place. I did find a monthly group meeting in Atlanta, GA that I am now a member of. We are a small group. We are planning to have a Christmas special.
Besides the Covid problem, we, just like many social groups, are suffering in declining membership. Younger peoples are in a "go it alone" mind set, or just use the internet, like we are doing now. Gone are the days of large "nose to nose" meetings. To most people, they just can't be bothered. New hetero CDers want and need some help and don't know about many of our groups, like the listing on here, many are basically what I call "meat markets" (dating services). The "meat markets" hurt what we are tying to do. help each other live with ourselves and others like us, and to cope with help the rest of the world.
Tri Ess is trying to resurrect themselves and their chapters, etc.

Sounds like Cheryl, Joyce and Leslie Mary have similar experiences. I do hope covid and the internet don?t kill off the support groups. But I don?t think the one size fits all of lumping separate groups under the same umbrella always works. I left the scene when I married and had children . I returned later in life when Cd came back with a vengeance after a bereavement, CD provides an outlet to me as a stress release and form of relaxation. It helps me mentally too. But I have missed the support of the original group I attended years ago. The opportunities to meet fellow CDs in a safe friendly environment are limited and not the same. In a world that promotes inclusivity. I think that a lot of the modern groups can do the opposite.The emphasis and help appears more for the TG Ts community. That is my opinion.However this forum is brilliant.

There are still a few Tri-Ess chapters in the U.S., but like the other, similarly "cloistered" groups, they are dying out. When any kind of transgender activity was socially unacceptable, if not outright illegal, they were a godsend. Those conditions are largely nonexistent now. Oh, sure, you'll run into the occasional asshole, but they are rare, and are now, by and large, viewed as the "deviant". Before the pandemic, we had a regular "girls night out" social. Just dinner and drinks, and maybe clubbing or a show later in the evening. I am aware of a more "adventurous" (in light of the persistent risk of infection) group that is doing the same, almost weekly. If a group setting, or at lease a wing-girl is a more comfortable, look in that direction, but just understand that the era of private, non-public events is pretty much gone.

Our local group, the St. Louis Gender Foundation, has existed since the early 1970's.

Here is our website.

https://www.stlouisgenderfoundation.org/

We have ten dinner meetings a year at a more private location that attracts around 15 to 20 members and guests monthly (trying to rebuild our numbers post-Covid), and monthly Saturday lunches at local restaurants (i.e., out with the Muggles).

When I first started going out I was very happy to learn there was a local group of about 10 dressers. It turned out to be a mix of horrendously presenting and hookups. With how easy it is to go out these days and for all intents and purposes be welcomed/not castigated then I do not see the purpose of the groups. CDs tend to be rather vain and a roomful is more than the universe can bear!

Debbie,

I attended the Manchester Concorde starting probably 6-8 years ago. It was a vibrant group and well attended. It slowly withered as it became easier to CD'ers to simply go to LGBT pubs around the village and just be part of the crowd as opposed to meeting in a private room. Folks have got more confident.

I think you're right in saying groups still in existence do focus more towards Trans end of the spectrum.

Have you considered just doing what I do each year and put out a post asking if anyone would like to meet up, assuming of course there's an LGBT friendly venue you can meet in known to you.

My hubby started a CD group (social/support) in the local Pride center about eight years ago. There were already active transgender groups at the Pride center but for some reason, some of the transgender people wanted to come to the CD group. Of course, the topics were very different. When some of the CDers concluded that they were transgender, the dynamics of the group changed and fewer "just CDers" came.

I used to go to a meeting here in Columbus Ohio. The people were nice however it catered more to trans people than it did cross dressers. I don't know if it still exists or not.

Debbie, I belong to several groups in the Washington DC and we meet about 8-10 times a year. I truly enjoy meeting other girls and chatting.

Our Atlanta group has be in existent since about 1970s. It is strictly Heterosexual in nature. Trans can visit but not Join. We gather on a Friday and disperse on the following Sunday. We do much more than sitting around and talk. We take tours, visit assorted things of interest like going bowling, visits to museums and theaters with live actors. Some time we do In house events like make up classes, and make overs, we discus about our selves and problems. some times we split up into smaller groups when their are several different things to do. We also go out to eat as a group. Some of our members do presentations in collages and on radio/television.
Yes we are a small but active group. Parts of our meetings are closed to just member and their support teams.

I have never attended a support group. Nothing against them at all. I am not much of a joiner. It has probably been to my detriment. I suspect that I may have had an easier time accepting this part of myself if I had.

Some interesting replies . I agree with Helen groups are not the same. May need to try venturing out. But the stumbling block is that I will not pass. Hence the safety net of the support group.

Passing is an illusion. Do your best to blend with other ladies, of course, and as everyone advises, seek out busy, daylight venues rather than dark, lonely places. There is safety in numbers, even if they are not all fellow travelers!

When my wife and I had "The Talk" in the early 1980's she told me it was alright with her if I joined a support group. Back then to be labeled a cross dresser was akin to having an "A" branded onto your forehead. I did look. There was none. The issue became, if I were to find a support group, how would I get there? Would I go en femme? What was the distance? Over the years there were some groups that seemed to come and go, but as some have said the group seemed to cater to young transgender teens or gays/lesbians.

I did find, when I was brought into the internet age, a listing for a group in Seattle. Before posting I did check and it seems there is a cross dressing social group in Seatte; The Emerald City Social Club. However, there is an application process which does make some sense. However, it also seems to limit the ability to "just walk in the door." I'd say, the time when I needed it the most is long past.

The Tri-Ess group we belonged to in NJ had been around for about 30 years.
From what I hear Covid and the freedom we currently enjoy coupled with an aging population that preferred the safety and anonymity of the group setting has whittled the group down to practically nothing. It seems the younger ladies don't feel the need for the comradery or the seclusion of those types of groups and find it elsewhere.
It's a shame as so many "firsts" for me were found in that setting. It also was a great help to my wife in her journey to acceptance.

We have a support group here in SW Michigan that's gone thru a few changes over the past few years. We have a mix of CDs, TGs, straight, bi, etc. We had a meeting place once a month that had changing rooms for those that chose not to leave home enfemme. And there was usually the option of going to a club after the meeting.

Since the pandemic started, we have been doing Zoom meetings weekly. Outings are planned for those that would like to go out with a group. We talk about anything anyone wants to talk about whether TG related or not. It's very loose and one goal is to recruit noobies or those that need help coming out or just going out.

Most of us long time members also have a good sense of humor!

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Originally Posted by Debbie Denier

Some interesting replies . I agree with Helen groups are not the same. May need to try venturing out. But the stumbling block is that I will not pass. Hence the safety net of the support group.

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Debbie,
did send p.M. regarding our "lot" in liverpool,U.K. We have two weekly Zoom meetings ,one is a sort of general meeting while the other is a "peer suport group" aimed at helping members with their problems. P.M. me if you want more dtails , thought i had a reply from you only to find my message repeated back....
xxx Liz

Liz sorry about that not very good with IT have sent another private message. Hope it has worked this time.

Hi Debbie, other side of the country to you, but Covid permitting we still hold meetings over in the Linca/Cambs area. Lynx Ladies is currently closed as our usual venue is being used as a refugee hostel. The Huntingdon Beaumont group is meeting next Sat 27th. This group also holds a weekly zoom meeting on a Sat evening, it doesn't matter whether you pass or not ALL are welcome; as Liz said pm me if you want further details with your email address and I can get the host to send you a link. Lynx Ladies has a new webpage, (still under construction but useable) at lynxladies.com.