Nobody likes to be objectified.
Printable View
Nobody likes to be objectified.
So very true. You and your therapist understand women!
I'm a typical GG. I am feminine. I am NOT submissive. I am strong. I am independent. And I relish this. I do not wish to pretend to be weak and cede my power to anyone. I do not need to purposely show off my legs or bust or booty because I know I have them. Most days I wear practical clothing because they make going about my days so much easier. If I wish to entice a man, then I can show off my body parts. But I don't go about enticing men on a daily basis :)
I dare say that most women are like me.
... I'll edit this to add there was a time in my life when I was unattached. I dressed more often in a manner that members in this forum would consider attractive. It was important for me then to be attractive to men. So it sounds as if my sexuality is focused outwardly towards men, but yours is focused inwardly towards wanting to feel vulnerable.
I am not sure that the way I dress is submissive, but I do dress the way women did when I was young. To me it sounds like the therapist is projecting her view of women's clothes and not the reality of what you like to wear.
I enjoy the dresses, skirts and heels. I also wear women's pants and capris. While dresses and heels have inherent limitations I do not consider those submissive.
We are in an age of comfort and I think fashion is showing that for both women and men.
If one works in an office environment that employees can wear skirts and dresses I do not consider them submissive compared to working in an environment that type of clothing would be impractical.
To me my wife is the most beatuiful femimine women there is and she wears a skirt maybe once a year.
I have never looked at a women in a dress heels and hose and thought that they were submissive.
This kind of plays into what I heard Steve Harvey say on his show last night. He was telling a lady in the audience that women have pretty much all the power in the relationship. She has been with the same guy for 5 years and has always told him that she was NOT going to be in her 60's still calling her significant other her "boy friend"
My first thought to your post was What? So all straight crossdressing men are submissive? I guess I do have a little bit of that, so maybe it's true??? I don't know...yet. So thanks for the thoughts to ponder. I'll let you know if I come up with an answer.
I think many of us like to dress the way women dressed in our younger years. I know for me my dressing in secret started in my teens, and even now my crossdressing fashion sense is slanted towards the fashions when I was a teenager (90s). Those younger years were where when our fashion sense was formed from movies, television and how the women around us were dressing.
Thank you ReineD for shining a bit of reality on this thread. Women haven't changed, society and fashion has.
Too many people here are stuck in the past. It's like we stopped growing once we discovered cross-dressing.
We, and I guess most GM's have this image of what I perfect GG looks like and wears. For me that image has kept up with the times, for some it hasn't.
The explanation is pretty straightforward. CIS women choose their clothes for different reasons than crossdressers use to choose their clothes. Crossdressers are satisfying a fantasy or fetish. CIS women choose for function and style, just as CIS men do. I am absolutely not judging, but let's be honest. If your presentation is not crafted to blend, you're getting a kind of satisfaction that non-CD's are pretty much never after.
Most women I know personally are the opposite of being vulnerable in the way they dress.
Most are just like ReineD.
I agree Roberta many here are locked in the past and haven't accepted the reality that times have moved on.
What has crossdressing to do with what women wear? It concerns so called female clothes. I couldn't care less what women wear today and if they stop wearing dresses I would not mind. I like to see dresses worn with style and either man or women can do that. I only dress in skirts or dresses in my own times and what underwear I wear is my own business. There is no need to keep up with the times, that is more to do with commercialism. Style is timeless.
If all you do is dress at home deep in the closet wear whatever you like from whatever era you want but don't complain if women don't wear what you want them to.
Honestly, I make a very concerted effort to dress as any other woman in my age bracket would dress, within any given context. If I’m alone at home, I seldom bother with make up, I’m happy in exercise leggings and tops, or casual tops and jeans. If I’m going out for dinner and drinks, I’ll try for something more a bit nicer, but comparable to what other women will be wearing. Having not experienced childhood, adolescence and puberty as a woman, I pay very close attention to what real women actually wear and do not hesitate to ask for advice.
What sort of satisfaction are we talking here? My wife dresses up on the weekend simply to look nice and enjoy her clothes. My 80yo mum will always be wearing a skirt when she leaves the house. To some, looking your best when in public may be an old fashioned idea but seeing as it harms absolutely nobody then what’s the problem?
Have you never checked out the comments below YouTube videos that show “vintage” fashions and all the remarks from both men and women along the lines of “why don’t people dress like that anymore?” Well, some of us do continue to dress like that! Because...it looks fantastic!
I have no problem flying the flag for style and injecting a little class into the otherwise humdrum and boring “let’s dress like everybody else” crowd.
For the record, I don’t blend in male mode either.
I grew up wearing the clothes Robbiegirl had in her post. From time to time something could be uncomfortable. But for the most part if they were fitted right they were as comfortable as the clothes today. I see a lot of women wearing clothes today that are the same as I wore years ago. Jeans were common back in the 50s. Slacks zipped on the side.
As for not growing with the times. I wear current stuff. But I see things in department stores that are the same fashion from the 50s/60s etc. Fabrics have changed sometimes. My wife and I talk about the quality of clothes today. We are in a throw away time slot currently. People buy and throw away.
Is it that we like to dress as we we like to see women.. I’m not objectifying women as anything other than the opposite gender, but I like the elegance that a confident woman projects through the way she dresses.
I believe that copying that is the most sincere form of flattery
GG here . I am 56 born in 62 . My favorite decade for clothing was the late 60's through 70's . I still very much dress like that - I will always be the hippy gypsy surfer girl .
Stevie Nicks has been my muse since 77. It has grown on me to a point that my friends see that era or clothing in that style and will tell me about it . So it is me- my identity . Lots of velvet and fringe and sparkles and such but that is just me .
Not much make up these days .
. As alot know I am not in the best of health right now so I am primarily in long shift dresses / lots of peacocks in the theme . I try not to wear a bra it is painful and I have not worn underwear since 81 - but I am very much a girl . Jeweled, beaded flip flops ARE my shoes with Uggs added in winter .
I have had 2 TG'ers in my life . One my former husband constantly stole and ruined my way smaller clothing , he would only dress in what he though was extreme sexiness but instead was streetwalker chic . Clothes came before everything and I would be ridiculed if I did not wear a GIANT BRA that I stuffed?? I have no need to stuff anything . . He would only wear what he deemed sexy to the touch , silk or silk feeling fabrics. His trying to hide his touching them was strange . He had alot of self shame though that no one could help but himself . He would also get very ill tempered if he didnt find something at Goodwill that he liked . He was from Europe and his family was not ok with any of this .
My late partner could care less what anyone thought dressed openly , we went places together with lots of PDA . Both s/he and my former husband had waist length hair so no wigs . S/he was also happy to be very gender fluid . I just loved her for this . Beautiful person . Wore bra 90% of the time and same with panties but it was not obsessive , s/he like cami's and boho skirts mainly but was beautiful in high dollar ski pants and a black turtleneck too with lots of VERY colorful jewelry . Was always in a good humor and was not secretive and angry about this part of her life , it was just her - I never understood how clothing could make one so angry ??? . We met on a Lilly Pulitzer discussion board so s/he enjoyed dressing me for daily life too.
So two different types there .
It's been my opinion that a lot of us wear certain female specific clothes in order to calm the inner conflicting GID, by getting the various feedback that the clothing gives us, sort of affirming that we're actually the female that something in our mind is telling us we are: It's clothes which are psychologically comfortable, actually made more so by being physically less comfortable. Foundation garments, bras, girdles, corsets, which give a constant reminder that they are there, dresses & skirts which visually flow into our sight lines, accessories/nail polish, feminine jewelry, everything adds up to support the illusion of being female that we need.
Women, OTOH, don't need this, because they have always known that they are female; so they will wear whatever they feel most physically comfortable, in.
Angela, I think a lot like you do. I do not like blending in in either mode! Modernism has made most clothes boring and classless. to me Not all, but much. I have always been odd and out of step and unusual.
As a short guy in clothes that were too big I was pretty much ignored.
Now that I have lots of long hair well past my shoulders wearing clothes that complement my petite hourglass figure just about everyone notices me now.
And now the clothes that I used to wear feels uncomfortable. I have skinny form fitting jeans that I can barely tell that I'm wearing something!
This may be coming from left field but I am curious about something.
I prefer the dresses or skirts, heels and full makeup. Except for a few hours three times a week I have dressed for 35 days in a row. On house cleaning days it was in capris or jeans otherwise dresses or skirts.
I do not mind wearing a suit and tie. We have been at weddings and before we began the trip home my wife changed from her skirt to shorts but I stayed in my suit.
Do you think their is any bearing that those who dress up in skirts and dresses are more formal dressers anyway?
I've tried to buy a suit but it is hard when you are my size. One of the first female clothes I wore socially was a 4P woman's blazer with the buttons on the other side.
Lea,
That is an interesting observation ! I would fall into that camp as a fan of always dressing up and being the class act
Attachment 306655
I’ve been wondering about this for sometime. Much of the clothing I enjoy represents an antiquated version of woman’s beauty. I’m happy to say that I’ve been enjoying more jeans and blazers while in femme mode these days.
So I have tired the super girly outfits in the past. I worn the heels, did the stockings.... and while it is occasionally fun, and the sexy feeling is great but can be a pain at times. I once asked my x-wife why she don?t wear super girly stuff she said ?it?s just a pain!? Wearing skirts you have to worry about ?are my legs shaven? and leggings aren?t practical as they get runs and torn easy.
Heels do amazing things for your arse but main they get painful after a while. You will never see woman that spends any length of time standing like a waitress wearing heels.
I personally mostly wear functional clothing. Jeans, leggings. (Love lula roe) blouses, shirts, and the like. I do have some nice dresses and skirts which I wear some times but my self consciousness about my legs keeps me from wearing them too much. A little hair and thick. I have huge cafe muscles.
I think most CD people just love the girly outfits and since most of us only wear around the house for short times and not worried about what people see as no one ever does we don?t have the same stress most females get about girly outfits.
I am free to spend most of my time dressed however I like. At these times I wear dresses (rarely skirts, never trousers), tights (except in summer), medium heeled courts shoes, panties, a bra and a slip. I avoid shapewear, stockings, and make up (except lipstick). Most of the clothes are very stylish and I have had a colour and style consultation. I want to look elegant not feminine and I feel good if I look good. There is no easing off in the clothing preferences over time. I will wear a wig and make up to go out and will then adopt a fairly feminine walk but at no time do I ever imagine I am a woman. I am acting and it is fun. Many of the women around me are very well dressed in dresses and skirts.