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I stopped at a 7 11 the other day on the way to work, Saw another like me, I guess I was looking too hard or she was freeked out by my uniform, I would have liked to talk for a little bit, has this ever happened to you, you see another you want to have a positive reaction but her perception of you is more or less oh no that dude clocked me.
I honestly can't remember seeing any CDer when I was out anywhere. Maybe I have and they were very skilled at blending in
so I didn't notice ?? Like others have said here before probably best not to go up and talk with them as you would really put them
on the spot.
I never see other CDers. My rule is: "If you're presenting as a woman, then you are a woman. If you're presenting as a man, then you are a man." Telling someone that you know they're not what they pretend to be is just plain rude. No matter what you're talking about.
Once while shopping out of town at a north Jersey mall, I spotted what I thought might possibly be a CD.
Even though she looked very feminine and carried herself very well, there was something about her.
About 6 moths later I was at an east coast CD weekend and, there she was.
After talking to her briefly, I learned that she was indeed from the N jersey area.
I never let on that I clocked her that day at the mall as I did not want her to get her paranoid, even if she had no reason to be.
The only other time was a local mall when I spotted an obvious CD with an obvious GG walking across the parking lot to the mall entrance.
Of course, I never engaged them for the same reason.
I generally endorse Cynthia's rule. I'll add one exception, having just come back from a week in Provincetown (a gay resort in Massachusetts.) If you're in a place where the transgender/crossdresser crowd is comfortable and accepted, it's probably OK to approach as long as they return your eye contact and smile. I had lots of lovely interactions with all kinds of people while dining out or just walking down the street (or in the parade :) ) But even in PTown there are people who want to have their space -- if they avoid eye contact, leave them alone. If you're that anxious to talk, go put on your big girl clothes, go out and engage the public yourself; don't force them out.
Extremely seldom and rare. But, once, in 1990, before i was into this, a blonde lady walked up to me as i was working on my car, and i could tell it was the dresser in the next rooming house, who rented a room i used to rent. I just said it was a nice day to work on the car.
Actually, I see 30 of them every day Monday thru Saturday and sometimes Sunday. They work for me.
That's kind of interesting Jorja, what kind of work do y'all do?
And what the heck is a "gurl" anyway? Who came up with that word?
Yes, but I did not approach or engage them in conversation. I would find that presumptuous. And, forgive me, but I detest the term 'gurls'.
I saw a CD and her wife/girlfriend at restaurant in Claremont NC a few years ago.
No one was gawking at her.
I left them alone to enjoy their meal.
That's awesome Jorja, an advocate who 'walks the talk'...I mean your hiring practices...the working 7 days a week thing, yikes! LOL 😀Quote:
Originally Posted by Jorja
That is the construction industry for ya, work while the sun shines and cover it up and still work when it rains. Time is money!
I see some of us around town fairly often. In book stores, malls, and shopping centers. In the salon where I get my hair recolored. In discount shores like Nordstrom's Rack. All over the place. Some I can barely clock, others are pretty obvious, to me at least. But my town is pretty open and accepting. Usually I just treat them like any other lady I might encounter randomly. Most of them seem intent on going about their business with minimal interaction with others, so I leave them alone, and don't try to let them know I noticed them.
None of the above includes the TG regulars at the club I go to on most Saturday nights. Now those girls I know I can approach and chat up, because the club is that sort of place - you don't go there hoping to be ignored. :) It's a friendly, sociable and accepting environment for anyone anywhere in the LGBTQ spectrum, or any straight folks who like visiting politely.
I have spotted a few CDs while out and about shopping -- several times at the grocery store, at least once in a home improvement box store. There used to be a TG hairdresser working in the salon where I had my nails done every two weeks. We were pretty much from different planets in terms of background and interests, but we had several casual conversations.
- Diane
To my knowledge, no, I have not.
It surprises me when other members post about seeing crossdressers every day when out. The only one I have ever seen while out is me, in a mirror. I did see what was apparently a transsexual woman working in a beauty school where my wife and I went once. She had a rack to die for but she also had an adams apple and was probably six feet tall.
Before I get any snippy replies, I do get out quite frequently and go to malls, grocery stores, and other "normal" places. I don't go to gay bars (or any bars) so perhaps this is where all the crossdressers are hanging out.
That's what I would have done but she ran ran out, I really hope I didn't trample her cloud too much.
I know gurl can have some negativity behind it, I see it like this by taking that word and using it in my lexicon in a positive way I take the word and throw it back at all those who would use it in a negative way. So if you have been offended my apologies, I was trying to be empowered
Other than the one CD that I had a one-time-only sexual experience with, I can only remember having seen one other CD out in public. At least I'm pretty sure she was a CD--it's hard to be totally certain, because some women do have some non-feminine characteristics. She was very young--no more than early 20s, I'd say, and although she was tastefully and attractively dressed, and reasonably credibly as female, there was some undefinable thing about her that made me think, "Omigod, that's a CD." She was obviously very uneasy--maybe that was part of what made her stand out as maybe not what she seemed, as if she were saying to herself, "What the hell am I doing here ... this is scary ... people are looking at me ... I wish I could hide somehow." I wanted to say something to her, but her nervousness was part of what was a barrier to my doing so. Also, I thought, "Sure, I THINK she's a guy, and I'm maybe 98% certain, but what if I'm wrong." It's like the classic case of seeing a woman who is obviously pregnant, so you say something about it, and it turns out that she's just struggling with a weight problem. Eek!
In my small city I've seen one cross dresser twice, and, another once. I did not see any reason to interrupt their day. If there was some reason to make eye contact, as in passing each other, maybe I would have nodded "good morning," but, I do that with everyone. Most people in my small city exchange pleasantries when passing in the street.
I haven't seen any for over a year now but I have seen my fair share of them around these parts. What I don't understand are the four of them that have heavy bears and dress up like sissies or little girls. I have never talked to them. There are a few others I have seen out shopping and just plain walking around. Never talked to any of those either. I only tried talking to one but she suspected there was something up with me and hurriedly left my presence.
First, it can only be written that way. In real situations it is pronounced the same as "girl". As for empowerment. IT does indicate that the T world is 1) different, that we aren't real. and 2) immature. That would be true using "girl" also. I have never understood how any group can take a word that is derogatory or demeaning and say "If I use it, I'm empowering myself" Seems you are just propagating it and feeding the word to keep it alive. With most words like this, people who aren't part of the community tend to "steal" them to try and fit in your group, thus the empowerment is lostQuote:
Originally Posted by Elli87
I have seen others although not often. Have never approached but I would love to just to make a friend. We need an international sign or word or something so we know our tribe when we see them.
Oh, please... has "gurl" become politically incorrect now? I always found it such a handy term. :( We need more words to apply to us, not fewer.
I live near New Orleans - happens all the time down here!
Bingo"dingdingdingdingding" Free masons have signals, gangbangers have signals, Death people have signals, why not us?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sallee
ok I don't know anybody who isn't into our scene that wants to hang out with me while I do my nails or put on make up. People re appropriate words all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah