Smitten

Like a good many others I started off dressing "Borrowing" clothes firstly from my mom, mainly girdles and stockings, and then in later life my GF/SO. In time that became saving items from going to jumble sales and creating my own little wardrobe. Along came the internet and online shopping and now as a rule I only wear my own clothes.............mainly.

My daughter is as tall as me and has a wardrobe full of dresses she hardly ever wears. Some are styles I'd never really consider even trying on in the shops but being home alone for the afternoon and able to dress I decided I'd check a few out just to see what they looked like on me. Most I could get on comfortably, one or two strappy summer dresses were just a bit too tight under the bust. Most I tried on suited me ok. Then I found a simple black, long sleeved slightly scooped necked, just below the knee dress made from tee shirt material. On the hanger it looked nothing but once on, oh my word!

It just looked so classy. Hung beautifully, the long fitted sleeves really having a thinning effect upon my arms. And I'm sure you'll appreciate this, it felt as good as it looked. Help, I'm infatuated with this dress. I covet it beyond words.

I Googled the brand name but couldn't find anywhere other that the end of line online stores that seemed to stock any and even then nothing in my size resembling anything close to this LBD.

So now I have a mission in life. On my next enfemme shopping trips I'm on the hunt for a dress like this. Wish me luck and oh, yes, the willpower to resist taking this dress out of the wardrobe any chance I get

Does she know you are trying on her clothes?

Tracii,

No and it's normally something I no longer do. Yep it's a bit naughty of me but as I say she's my size and most of the dresses I haven't seen her wear in years.I found a couple with the labels still in the back! Goodness knows how long they've been there. It wouldn't surprise me if a good few end up in a bag and off to a charity shop to make room for more dresses she never wears. It's not just us that get the online pink fog descend.

Stuff she wears on a day to day basis is definitely off limits.

You must must know that even if she doesn’t wear them, going through her things without permission is a violation of her privacy right?

There's no way I would borrow any of my daughters clothes, except if they were in the donation pile.

Too much can go wrong, like what if the zipper stuck and you couldn't get out of it without tearing it.

What if she caught you. That would be the end of the world in my house, right after the nuclear bomb.

You do know that she knows, maybe not exactly what but that something is a miss with that dress. Maybe if you come clean with her you may "inherit" the dress and all will be forgiven.

My 25 y/o old daughter lives with me. And, is nearly my size, Helen. I can honestly say I had never thot about looking thru her things, much less trying them on, until I read your post!:eek:

I'm not a prude. But, even I find that creepy.:Angry3:

Does your daughter know u dress? If so, then maybe no harm was done. But, I think u should talk with your daughter about this. She mite not mind. Or, want to give u that dress u like. Or, toss it out. Knowing u wore it!:doh:

Yes a bit naughty, however, I think you are all being a little harsh.
As Helen said, its not day to day wear, but stuff that hasnt been used.
Havent we all done that at some point in our careers?

Helen,
It loooks like I've reached a point where my daughter may borrow some of my clothes , I feel it's a lovely turn of events .

As for the LBD I know exactly what you mean , I now have 4 , they are so versatile , and all lovely to wear .

Helen knows the rules , I'm sure she has every respect for her daughter , she wouldn't touch the items if she thought it would cause a problem .

One question Helen , does she know about Helen ? If she doesn't how do you think she would react ? The point I'm aking is would she pass them onto you if you asked ?

Teresa raises a good point. While there may be suspicion on my daughters behalf, can't say for sure. I know she has loaned her shoes to a drag artist while at uni, she has big feet for a GG! So I know she's not adverse to our community.

As others have said, many of us started out "borrowing" clothes from family members. Would we be so condemning of a younger sister secretly trying on an older siblings clothes? If not then aren't we guilty of at least a modicum of double standards? How many would chastise a younger brother for trying on his sisters clothes, the brother who then goes on to transition?

Can I suggest in my defense that there's a world of difference between trying on and extended wearing. Yes there will be a proportion here who haven't started their journey by trying on a family members clothing. There will equally be a significant tranche who took those first tentative steps looking into a mirror, seeing themselves in a family members clothes.

In balance I'm one of those who would condemn someone who continuously and repeatedly in secret wears the clothes of say an SO. If you know you need to dress in femme clothing then it's time to at least get a basic wardrobe of your own.

One further point, those in an open relationship, with an SO who knows they dress. If a partner of a member here tried on a dress/skirt/blouse of without asking but then reported it later, how many here would be posting with glee a positive event to the forum? Still fundamentally a failure to ask but does a positive outcome negate that initial faux pas?

Look, I acknowledge what I did wasn't the best possible option. As I said I respect her day to day attire. However lets remember few of us live in an ideal utopian world and we have to make the best of what we can. Yes there are limits but on this occasion I'm not convinced that I strayed too far.

Further, as I stated, I'm not going to be wearing my daughters dress again despite falling in love with it.A one off. I'll seek to source my own. Find something to hang in my wardrobe. What I'll take away from this is that I've learned from a master. If you want to CD well, look to GG's for inspiration and guidance.

Helen, I am not going to chastise you for doing what you did. I see the point of your thread. So, what is the label/maker on the dress? Perhaps we can all join in the quest for the missing dress. I know you're in the UK. Perhaps, it is available on ebay USA. The quest for the elusive dress shall begin!

Morality aside (Not here to judge others for sure) I really want to know more about this dress! What is the brand? I am good at finding things. Let me know and I can help you look. I have a little black cotton dress with a scooped neck that I got from Forever 21 about 3 years ago but it has short sleeves.

Well treasure hunters, the brand is "What's uppp", yep with 3 p's.

While it would be lovely to find the dress online not having it gives me something to shop for. My wardrobe (stash) by necessity needs to be kept relatively small so when I do get the opportunity to go out enfemme I always have an idea of what I want to buy. Very rarely do I impulse buy.

So I'll have my own Mission Impossible. I'll don the disguise, sorry Sherry, no mask other than foundation, and head out to find this holy grail (sorry, different film) of a dress or one just as nice.

And if at first I don't find it, I have a reason to keep shopping knowing there's a bench mark to be met.

Then of course I'll need the shoes to go with it......

Helen

I hope my comment above wasn't too harsh. It was meant well, but it was more about me than you.

Of course, I "borrowed" my mom's lingerie and clothes when I was a pre-teen and a teenager. I also borrowed my GFs once in a while. She was in retail at the time and had a great eye for clothes, although they were strictly business (pant suits and skirt suits), nothing for girl's nights out. I felt a lot more guilty borrowing my GF's clothes than my mom's.

When my wife accidently found out about my CDing, she really blew up. After a couple of months in therapy, she was still on simmer. Even now, she's like a dormant volcano, and I can never tell when the eruption will occur. I hear rumblings now and then, and sometimes the volcano releases a little steam, but no eruptions for a while.

We agreed on boundaries, and one of them was to not tell my daughter and to not let her find out. Because of that, I'm possibly overly sensitized to not borrowing my daughter's clothes.

So, sorry.

Have you tried this site Helen? https://www.vinted.co.uk/ they sell 'whats uppp' clothes apparently.

I agree with Alissa, she knows. Maybe not that it was you but that it was someone.

I admit my guilt in doing this but it was my wife's. I thought I had gotten away with it until I was confronted. Seems I overlooked a slight white mark on the underarm of a nightgown. It was from deoderant and a type she didn't use. I played it off as since she looked so sexy in it and I was in the mood and she wasn't there that I just had to try it and think of her. That worked Once. I learned my lesson and from then on wore only my clothes.

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Originally Posted by Carole

Have you tried this site Helen? https://www.vinted.co.uk/ they sell 'whats uppp' clothes apparently.

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Carole,

Thanks for looking and yes I had found that site. It does seem like it's a somewhat of a clearance market, a bit like eBay. Of course it's possible the brand has gone out of business so clearance of second hand is all that's available.

I've tried on my daughter's clothes many many years ago. It was when she was a teenager. She was a chunky girl and wore loose fitting clothes. She had her Mama's taste in things so there wasn't mut that interested me. But, she had this one white flowered jump suit that was cute as cute could be. It fit very well on me and didn't look half bad!

Helen,
I'm going to touch an another point which I know isn't what you implied .

Setting aside the rights and wrongs of wearing clothes belonging to other people , to wear something belonging to a wife / GF can be a very intimate thing . I felt this very much after I came out to my wife , it was hard to explain to her especially as she began to think they were a sustitute which they weren't . I guess many women would struggle with that notion , at the time I felt she handled it badly , I know I was hoping the outcome would be different .

May I suggest you check out Oxfam Online but you'll need sometime to search it , I've found some wonderful items on it .

Sounds like an awesome dress. Sucks you can't find it online. I know sometimes I find something at the thrift store and try to look up the label's company for more similar items and sometimes it seems like a dead end.

Helen, Good luck getting lightning to strike twice. I have bought a dress from one brand only to find nothing else from them. It really is just hit or miss.