Hi Gionanna :hugs:, My biggest problem is Perfecting my Makeup, Orchid**o:daydreaming:o**
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Hi Gionanna :hugs:, My biggest problem is Perfecting my Makeup, Orchid**o:daydreaming:o**
I always thought of getting some dance classes. Has anyone done that? Did some stiletto dance classes but it was geared more to club dancing, not movement...
There's so many things for me 😩
But at the moment it's makeup... I've been trying to practice mascara, and all I succeeded in doing is poking myself in the eyes so many times with the wand. I've got to the stage I've given up, before I really hurt my eyes. I really don't know how you girls do it...I think I'm just really uncoordinated and don't have a delicate enough touch.
Trying to do eye makeup without my glasses on. Especially eyeliner.
Why do I have an urgent need to listen to "Lola" by The Kinks?
I suppose that voice would be near the top of the list for me as well but since I don't venture out, it's not an issue for me. It's the old "if a tree falls in the forest" scenario for me.
The top of the list then, for me, is walking, sitting and bending over like a lady (loading the dishwasher etc). Without trying to sound too cliche, I really enjoy cleaning and organizing my home while channeling a well dressed 50's or 60's woman complete with swing dress, petticoat etc.
As a big part of that, I wish that I could sit comfortably with my legs crossed at the knee rather than at the ankles. I love the look of smooth legs in stockings, open toed heels and anklet with a hint of my slip, and thigh high lace top showing. That's as feminine a look as I can present, just wish it was more comfortable and natural feeling...
Seems like we have a lot of hangups over not being ladylike enough. Fact is, we will never be ladylike enough. As was mentioned here, a 30-50 year old woman has been acting,walking, talking and even standing still like a woman for 30-50 years. Game over. I spent many years worrying about this, until I learned to accept me for me. Not going to try and fool myself or anyone else, because all it does is create anxiety. All I can do is be myself and try to minimize my male characteristics to a reasonable extent.
Monica is right of course. I try up to some point... also because what I try to improve is not for passing or anything like that, it is for me! So all part of my transformation process I guess. But there is no frustration or feelings that I am not woman enough. You have to be happy the way you are.
body shape - bigger around the bust and waist than the hips
Bigger around the bust would be a plus point though, wouldn't it Jacques, if you can fill a bra naturally! :
Well I have always been a dancer, ballanced and light on my feet still as I rock climb these days and thin as a rake for my build. I have a natrualy soft voice too. None of which will ever make up for being 6ft 7 in heels and having spades as hands and size 13 wide anvils as feet. The most hard, confidence. I had some when I was young and indomitable, I have far less these days and stay hidden at home. But life is still very good for me on the whole. :)
There's a lot of ladylike things that I'd like to improve, but I'm fine with what I am.
Um, I took a belly dancing class. It was really fun because I could be as femme as I wanted.
I also tried to sign up for a hula dancing class. The woman said that they didn't teach the male parts. I couldn't find a way to tell her that I wanted to do the female parts anyhow.
The idea of this thread was to get a cross section of our - pain points - and see if they overlap... I see a lot about movement, posture. And how do we solve for that? Practice, practice! For the walk, search for the hip matrix, helped me a lot.
Someone posted the hip matrix (or something like it) years ago and it is an eye opener.
However, I also came to this conclusion:
I've found that trying too hard to mimic female gestures, walk, talk etc. can cause an exaggeration of these attributes; Like an actor overacting. For me, it's better to reduce masculinity rather than increase femininity. YMMVQuote:
All I can do is be myself and try to minimize my male characteristics to a reasonable extent.
Sadly, after all these years, and with an accepting wife and son, and open minded friends, It still comes down to self acceptance. All the other issues, while they certainly could use some work, pale in comparison to my inability to overcome my own timidity, and the feeling that I am being judged based on my gender non conformity.
The hardest thing for me is knowing that, no matter how much effort I make, I will never pass, even for an evening.
Hand size & height.
I'm very skinny so a shaper helps with an HG figure but hand size and height always bothered me.
I manage the height by avoiding long wigs and vertical stripes, sticking to a top - bottom jewelry approach layered look.
Usually wear some type of patterned top like a floral to break up the verticals further.
Tried to find some good false nails and lashes but still have none - always went au natural in that regard - but I think false nails would help at least psychologically.
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Hands and height.
A natural feminine walk is very difficult. The mechanics are automatic for women. It's very difficult for a man to change muscle memory the way he walks. I've lost most of the male walk and can say I don't have a distinctly male walk but I know I haven't completely switched over. I don't know why I'm trying so hard on this and not bothering more with voice voice is probably the most difficult.
All this talk of voice reminds me of this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoJ-34Ssa0
The bloody eyebrows. Arrrrgggghhhhh :facepalm::hmph:
For me, the hardest part is about holding shape and mimicking a female body language at the same time. Being a little overweight as I am, achieving an hourglass figure can be quite painful sometimes. I Generally use waist cinchers In order to compress my belly and make it more even. It works, and I get some curves I wouldn't ever be able to achieve naturally, but it has a cost. The compression makes it a bit harder for me to breathe, and sometimes I lose focus on the body language.
My country's weather is also something I struggle with. To make my legs smoother and more feminine, I like to wear a black, thick pantyhose. To achieve a nice cleavage with realistic breasts, I use a silicone vest with gel-filled breast forms from roanyer. The vest goes all the way down to my belly, and it's also great to hide my shapewear, creating a more realistic look. However, as I live in a tropical country, using them under this hot weather can be a challenge. I end up sweating a lot, and on some (quite frequent), occasions I have to dress up without pantyhose. When that's the case, I have to shave my legs with extra care if I want to pass.
I have a rather masculine figure, due both to my height and weight, so I can't even think of passing as a girl without my shapewear. But when I do that, I have to endure a lot of compression, which takes my attention away from my body language and my voice acting. When I'm focused, I can do a rather convincing female voice impression, as well as mimic a feminine body language. They are both important things for those who want to pass. Basically, my main struggle is to keep myself comfortable when I'm presenting as a female, while I'm trying to pass convincingly. I hope one day I'll be able to do everything at the same time more naturally. I can say that it's the hardest part of crossdressing to me, but I'll keep practicing until I achieve it.
make up, I've tried several tutorials online, bought several make up kits and still can't get the hang of it.
Improving my make-up skills is certainly on the list but I avoid speaking when out, so the voice isn't that much of a problem.
What really gets to me and I find hard is being unable to shave all over. I would so love to wear a sleeveless dress and not see hairy arms, or a plunging neckline without chest hair but that's strictly off limits in a DADT relationship. I've got away with legs because the hair was patchy but that's it. That's why winter dressing, with long sleeves and crew neck sweaters are my preferred fashion. As much as I'd like a gorgeous floral summer dress, I just look like a MIAD.
For me, it's something I can't overcome. I'm 6' and 200#. The good thing is I've seen a lot of taller/larger women recently.
When my friend and I go to the casino I'm not the tallest/largest "girl" there. I do leave my beloved high heels at home to blend a little better.
I'm really happy with the body language stuff, but learning to sit with my legs together did put some stress on the thighs at first. :o