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I have a female roommate who I've been friend's with for about 15 years or so, and she has a band mate who is openly a crossdresser, and my roommate is very supportive of this person, and I know she would support me, and be great about it, but I still find myself a little scared to tell her. By the way I told her CD bandmate and he said he had a pretty good idea anyway. Not sure if I had a question in here, or more of just putting down my thoughts.
If she was my roommate, I would tell her without hesitation. If she's supportive of her bandmate there should be no reason why she would not support you. With a friend like that she might even help you dress.
Just be open and honest with her. Tell her like...your not 'coming out' or nothin just to her and your good friend is all. and will she please respect that? If so, you three could be open and relaxed and cool with each other which is basically really cool. Your all friends and stuff so thats cool ya know? In fact its kinda exciting.
Who knows maybe she n him will letcha get some action now n then. Just don't push it. Respect your Cd friend and her gf...and fit in if that ever becomes a possibility. other than that just go on your merry way and hope someday your as lucky as them. Probly will be. Patience babe...
It'll all work out in the end. Just remember...always be honest to the GG girls you meet. You'll find one of your own someday.. Gauranteed!!! Then who knows? Y'all become famous 4 some friends to the end. BFF baby. A rare commodity.
Your on the right track in that regard. And when you come down to it? There's nothing more important than Fidelity. Truth. Honesty. And your Friends. PERIOD!
Curious if you "have" to tell her for some reason, or do you simply want to seek her support as a friend?
Sorry... I may have been unclear in my rambling. I have a very supportive girlfriend already, who is also friends with my roommate, and the other CD is just friends with my roommate and more of an aquaintance of mine who I don't know very well yet. I just recently met her band member. This still may be confusing. I'm not great at explaining things. Either way I realize I'm being silly not telling her, although I doubt she would help very much, as she's kind of a tomboy, and has a little trouble getting girlied up herself. Maybe we could learn together. IDK.
No specific reason MissTee, except that I would like to maybe cook or clean while dressed up on occasion, although I do have 2 other roommates who I'm 50/50 on their reaction.
If it's safe, I'd tell her so that you can store your stuff without having to hide it from her.
Well I have my own bedroom with a lock, and a supportive girlfriend, so the finding my stuff thing isn't an issue, bc I could always say the clothes are my GFs
I would ask your GF her thoughts, if your GF is OK with it, just put on a skirt and top and go cooking.
Maybe the best way is to let your girlfriend tell your roommate about your CDing so that you're off the hook. Then, best case scenario, is that she'll accept you for who you are just like she accepts her bandmade for whom he is. I think the odds are pretty good that you'll come out unscathed in all of this, and that you don't have to hide anymore. If she had a problem with her bandmate dressing up, I'm sure you would've heard something by now.
Oh she definatly does not have a problem with the band mate. They're are 3 in the band, and they are an "all girl" band with 2 GGs and a CD. I'm a little jealous bc they perform in bars with him en femme, and it's awesome! I realize I'm being silly , but sometimes it's still fun to have a secret, but also I like to hear people's reactions when I tell them. I like when people say "well that makes sense" or something along those lines.
If u have accepting GF you've already found the CD's Holy Grail. Whether or not u tell your roommate(s) is irelevent.
All u really need is a place of your own!
I can understand your dilemma. You would like to confide in your friend, but you are apprehensive about changing a long time relationship. My best guess (based on little on no relevant information) is to go ahead. If she doesn't know, I would suspect she's guessed and is waiting patiently for you to tell her.
Does the CD bandmate dress for their gigs? If so, you might suggest a dress up day for the gig, and go enfemme with your girlfriend. Your roommate might feel comfortable starting a discussion by saying something like "You looked really good tonight", followed by "Oh thank you. It was fun. I like dressing up…"
Pat, if I read your post correctly, you have a friend/roommate who is a girl and not a girl friend in the romantic sense. If I am correct, I think it will be easier to disclose your CDing to a friend, regardless of gender, than to a girl friend as the investment in the friendship is much different.
Confide in the bandmate for a while and maybe he will search out your roommates views for you.
sounds overly complicated to me. Just tell her. No big deal
Ya, I'd say go ahead and tell her. But I'd also tell her something else and make it REALLY REALLY clear. Not that you would or would even consider it, but let her know that you will never touch HER things. Most GGs don't like that and I think it would be best to be right upfront about that.
Thanks for the clarity, PatChick. Makes sense that you want the freedom to dress in your own apartment and it would help to clear it with the roomies. Good luck and keep us posted.
soooooo much drama! LOL
Just be yourself Pat. Tell your roomie that you're a cross-dresser already. I'm a 45 year old broad (now) who wasted the good years being afraid of the truth. Don't do that. What are you afraid of anyway?
Be young, be free, be yourself. You have NOTHING to lose yet, don't wait until you do.
I would tell her as she seems supportive of her band mate, real girls that support crossdressers are a rare breed make the most of it
I think you should tell her! She is cool with bandmate and has a gay brother. She seems like an understanding person. If you are nervous ask your gf or the band mate to be with you or tell her for you. One more person you can be yourself in front of.