Now you look like a woman...

So before my wedding one month ago I finally told my now wife that I would like to start wearing feminine clothes after wearing beautiful wigs for the last year. I have always loved long beautiful hair and one year ago I told my then girlfriend what the long hair meant for me (I am 40now so it took me a lot of time to come out). She accepted it and helped me to choose those wigs. Now after wearing them I couldn't keep it for myself because I wanted the more feminine look everyday so I finally told hair that I would love to accentuate the hair with matching women clothes. This was new to her but she accepted it and also helped me to choose. Now after some of those clothes arrived (some high waist trouser and blouses from zara, hm...) she looked at me and said... Now you really look like a woman. I had the long hair, my earrings some beige trousers and a yellowish blouse. It was a little bit much for now but she is still completely Allright and helping me with my wardrobe. I couldn't be more happy. She told me that she doesn't want anything offensive and vulgar and that's completely Allright with me, because I would like to achieve an everyday streetlook or maybe some kind of "office" look without "showing" too much because I am large and I surely can say muscular.
So this is it. Just wanted to share and say hi because this is something that's making me really happy right now.
Bye

A helping SO is always good to have. As you say, you don't want to push things too far too soon and certainly keeping your dressing more mainstream is the way to go.

Have you talked about bra wearing and forms yet? That does seem to be one of your next steps.

I am so happy for you - life certainly seems to be looking good.
I have to say that I'm with your SO on the subject of looking offensive or vulgar - because I feel the same way. Apart from the fact that I don't dress for sexual gratification, I respect both myself and the women I admire and strive to be like, to ever do anything that would cheapen them - or me. Some of the things I've seen and read on certain other sites make me feel ashamed and embarrassed to be a CD/trans person, and embarrassed for the women they disrespect.
I try to dress and present as what I basically am - a reasonably-pretty 60+ year-old woman with a bit of class and a sense of propriety. I dress my age, and try to behave accordingly.
I just wish that I had an understanding SO like yours to share with me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Misiokaku

She told me that she doesn't want anything offensive and vulgar and that's completely Allright with me, because I would like to achieve an everyday street look or maybe some kind of "office" look without "showing" too much

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There's something to be said for an understated office look. Very sexy without being overt. There's another thread on that just recently that supports this view. And if your avatar is the wig you mention your total femme look is no doubt quite beautiful. Be sure to share with us when you feel ready.

The question I have is she still completely all right, I think she may have tapped the brakes when she said she does not want anything offensive or vulgar. I say be careful here because if you overstep you could lose her acceptance.
It is hard for us but sometimes we need to read between the lines

An accepting partner is a great thing to have. In terms of clothing, I have to say "to each her own" but I agree that understated is better than vulgar or over the top. I could never achieve an office or professional look but like to go for androgynous casual - something that would look good on anyone.

Ziggie, I am working on that 'androgynous casual' concept so I can 'fly under the radar' a bit when I am in male mode. I've gotten a bit of subtle bling and am looking at getting my ears pierced (I had one pierced many years ago) and have scored a few suitable tops. I still need shoes and some jeans or similar. It's a work-in-progress at the moment.

Hello everybody and thanks for all the replies. I will try to answer some questions.
Regarding wearing a bra. This is something I talked about with my wife. As I like working out and as I have written I think I am quit muscular I don't see myself in female underwear. This is something my wife doesn't want either. So this is no problem for me. The same thing goes for me for shape wear or short skirts. I for myself don't think this would look good on my body. And as a guy I like the way I look and I like my workout and I wouldn't miss it. So I am trying to find a way that is feminine but will look good or maybe convincing on myself without looking forced. So this is why I try an "office" or maybe "street style" look that seems kind of "neutral" yet still feminine. This is how I explained it to my wife and this is how I see myself. So this is what I would like to achieve. When she said yesterday:now you look like a woman, a large woman but a woman... This means that I am on the right track for myself. But I also try her to be involved and let her say the last word so she is Allright and I am Allright. Actually what I would love to get someday would be a skirt to match the style I was talking about. But this can wait right now, because what I have right now is more than I ever thought I would have.

Misiokaku, Helen is right, "a helping SO is always good to have." I wouldn't push it to much. My wife is supportive and encouraging, but I try to not to push her too far.

Hi Misokaku,

It helps if you continue to talk about what want to do. For instance, do you want to grow out your hair? How long?

It also helps if you set boundaries, such as where you can go dressed.

As a rule, the smaller and thinner you are, the more options you have clothing choices. Both in terms of what you can buy and what will look good on you.
Looking good certainly has a big impact on what is "acceptable."

Marion

What a wonderful endorsement! You have a great partner!

So glad for you that you have an accepting SO, take small steps one step at a time and I am very sure you will both be very happy
Best wishes to you both

You are fortunate to have a partner who is engaged in your needs and desires. I would think your expanding interests are still new to your wife. Acceptance now does not guarantee acceptance in the future. You may be satisfied right now with your self image and with your wife's limitations, but, what will happen if your interest expand. You could creep along and one day your wife may drift away. I would not put to much stock in her limitation on "offensive or vulgar." She probably has some stereotypical images society has thrown out depicting cross dressers as hookers.

Yes I also see myself as very fortunate and that Is why I don't want to push it. I want it to be fun for me and if possible for her. That is why I encourage her tell her point of view if I look terrible, funny, to lough at me if I choose something that just looks ridiculous on me. And I think that works. I ask her for advice what colors to match and I showed her some instagram "models" to show her the style I would like to achieve so she could understand what I meant as I said I would like to wear feminine clothes to match the long hair of the wigs I already have and this is where she is really ok. With the wigs she even got me some styling tools and helped me with styling because she knows that the hair is the most important part for me. The dressing is kind of crown to accentuate the hair. That is why I try to get a style that is still feminine but keeps the hair as the main "attraction".
As for growing my own hair. I have had it to shoulder length for 4-5 years. Back then I wasn't honest and I didn't tell my wife (we were not married then) that I wanted it to look feminine. This i told her just 2 years ago. I told her that I always wanted my hair to look like from a victorias secret fashion show�� and If my hair was good enough I surely would. But it is not. Some people told me I looked good with the long hair but I felt kind of disappointed as I also felt good. Now with the wigs during the day as a guy I feel very good with myself. But when I can put the wig on i feel what I always dreamed about because I would have never achieved this kind of hair. So that is why the clothes have to match the hair and that is why I try to get a look that is rather neutral in color and style but surely feminine. My wife can understand that and this is all I want. I don't have to hide it anymore. If I am not dressed I try to be appealing for her as a guy and if I am dressed I try also to be acceptable so I don't have to hide myself anymore.

What a lovely post, Mis! U r one lucky dresser!:thumbsup:

And, not just because you're wife's on board with it. It sounds like you're completely happy looking like a woman.:battingeyelashes:

While some of us aren't satisfied unless we can pass for a woman!:daydreaming:

Lucky you! You found a wonderful partner and you are openly sharing your interests and desires and goals and she is accepting and involved. You also have a good handle on your interests and goals. Wonderful, happy for you both!

Hello everybody
Thank you for all the replies. Yes I can consider myself very lucky. Lately we talked about it a little bit more. I like to consult my wardrobe choice with my wife because I think her style is great. I don't want to copy hers and look like her, I would like to find my own style. The netflix series "the woman in the window..." I think she had a great style... So As i am completely new to this... Just the 2nd month am I very happy that I finally opened up and that she not only accepts but she also said that some of the styles I chose look actually good that they fit and the other great part is that she is is happy about the situation wich is something new, interesting and I actually think it helps us getting closer. It was kind of a dream that started with my desire to have long hair, like a VS model. Now that I am open about it (to her) it helped me to be open about other stuff i our relationship as well. So I try to involve her, I think the hard part is not being selfish and making this about "me" but somehow to make this something for "us" through sharing my "deepest" secrets with her and being open about them.
So have a nice Sunday everybody

Since I have been dressed up totally femme and going in stores to try on dresses sometimes, I have had comments for the salesladies who have helped me with my zipper or help me get untangled with strappy dresses, saying how good a certain dress looks on me like very flattering and even cute. These are the pleasantries of trying on dresses, lingerie and other feminine articles. It has been a fun ride through the years.

An accepting wife is great. Many folks here have lost their wives and families because of crossdressing and others are forced to hide their crossdressing stuff and only wear it when their wives are not around. Others have wives that "tolerate" their dressing but don't participate.

My suggestion to you is to take this slowly, don't let her come home one day to find you prancing around the living room in a cocktail dress and six inch heels.

And before you invest a lot of money in clothing, get your bra and breast forms and hip and butt padding. These will change your clothing size.