How to not look so much like a guy or a tranny

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Originally Posted by ninapuella

Thanks for the advice on jewelry. I havent been thinking of that yet. You look great in your photos.

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Thanks. :) I blurred the face out mostly because I just threw on the clothes and I know little about hair or makeup (yet!) so I didn't want to spoil the pictures with my guy face. ;)

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Originally Posted by sissystephanie

I think I have all 3 of those skirts, and I do love them. Might have to get the top!LOL I have to admit I am very much like Joanne, as I dress to please myself and no one else. Since my wife passed away I have no one to do my wig and my makeup anymore. I am terrible with both items, so I don't even bother. I just dress and go out as a guy in feminine clothes. Those that don't like it don't have to look!!

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Yes, I was thinking of that too. I don't dress to please anyone but myself either, but the tips were kinda in line with the title of the thread. So if you don't care about not looking like a guy, then you may not need any of these tips. ;) I just got a new purple blouse today that I love, it's a bit fancier than that one. Also, I found a skirt that I used to own at the Salvation Army. I wondered what happened to that skirt. I know it was mine too because I reinforced the waist. What are the odds? Yay, wednesday, half-price day at the Salvation Army!

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Originally Posted by suzy1

A lot of work and thought has gone into this thread.
I would say there is a lot of good advice here.
And it’s reflected in your pictures too.
Well done.

SUZY

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I should have posted a picture of me just facing the camera and not posing for comparison. Yikes! I took the picture, but I was in such a hurry to delete all the pictures off the camera card I forgot to pull that one off first.

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Originally Posted by LitaKelley

should add, make sure your boobs aren't too big.. The majority of GG out there don't have enormous torpedos. I disagree with the posing part entirely. Having been working with professional models for the last 17 years, I've not once ever seen any model posing in such a manner. Disregarding the fact I know you as a CD and also disregard the face blur and hair, I'd recognize the pose and photos right away as a CDer

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Well, it could be because this particular pose mitigates a lot of the problems CDers have with trying to look like women. I lost all my bodyshaping gear a few months ago and initially I didn't care that much, but now I'm getting back into rebuilding my CD gear collection and hopefully I'll have a new set of gear soon. With the corset and pads and real breast forms I look a lot more like a girl in virtually any pose, aside from the broad shoulders. But as long as I don't face the camera/mirror directly, my shoulders aren't that noticeable.

I was browsing the forums after my return following a long absence, and noticed a lot of people having trouble with stuff I'd figured out over time on my own, hence this thread.

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Originally Posted by Jorja

Thank you, Vir Novum. There are some very good tips in there.

From past experience, if you want to blend in and dress like 99.9% of the GGs in this world, you need to take a trip to the mall. You will need a good book, a pen or pencil, note paper, and some coffee or something to drink. Find a comfy seat near one of the more frequently visited stores like J.C. Penny's or Marshall's. Whatever is in your town. Do not drool and make an a$$ of yourself. Just sit there and observe. See what girls and women near your age are wearing. I mean really, a 63 yr old grandma in a miniskirt, stripper shoes, and a tube top,,,, come on get real. I only know of 2 GG grandmas that could pull that off ;). Make notes then go shopping.


Edit: Always wear jeans when Karen is near!:D
If I had her address I would send her a pair.

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I agree 100% especially about sending Karren a pair of jeans. Seriously though I did hours and hours and hours of the same kind of research. I took notes as well. I believe it is the best advice we could offer.

a couple tips i have found that help me look my best:

V-necks help alot in disguising broad shoulders.

High heels are fun but GG's rarely wear them out of the house

Jewelry, it helps draw the eyes away from other flaws(thats why GG's wear it too but they are typically hiding slightly different flaws)

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Originally Posted by Jorja

Thank you, Vir Novum. There are some very good tips in there.

From past experience, if you want to blend in and dress like 99.9% of the GGs in this world, you need to take a trip to the mall. You will need a good book, a pen or pencil, note paper, and some coffee or something to drink. Find a comfy seat near one of the more frequently visited stores like J.C. Penny's or Marshall's. Whatever is in your town. Do not drool and make an a$$ of yourself. Just sit there and observe. See what girls and women near your age are wearing. I mean really, a 63 yr old grandma in a miniskirt, stripper shoes, and a tube top,,,, come on get real. I only know of 2 GG grandmas that could pull that off ;). Make notes then go shopping.


Edit: Always wear jeans when Karen is near!:D
If I had her address I would send her a pair.

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I was just at Target, and most women were wearing sweat pants and hoodies :(

That's great stuff... I always look like I'm going to a wedding or a club!

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

Part of the fun is dressing up and being pretty and I love to be noticed.

And they don't all put their hand on their hips and bend at the waist or point one foot in front of the other. They don't walk like catwalk models.

Fashion is...well fashion. It is the statement a person makes by donning clothing that they like. If you follow someone else's "fashion advice" it isn't your fashion it is theirs and you are emulating it.
So, here is the deal (as I see it). Be yourself, have fun, wear what you like (within laws and local regulations), stick out that chest and be proud. If you want to blend wear drab clothes that no one will notice, but trust me when you start trying to follow the "rules" to fit in you will stick out.

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Yes!! this is exactly how I look at things too. There can be no set "rules" for anything we do. Only guidelines becasue we can't all be put into the same category.

Zara

You can never have enough of these informative threads!

Another important consideration is confidence. Walking through a store with a sense of purpose and objective is important. Looking scared and nervous can draw attention you don't want. Basically look like you've been doing this all your life! Easier said than done, but possible. Took me a while to build up the confidence but after a while the scare-factor fades and it becomes more fun/normal.

A quick tip I'd like to add is comfort. For example, don't buy shoes that are a size too small just because they're the closest size to what you wish was on the rack. If you're comfortable in properly sized clothing, the self-conscious factor goes down and you can enjoy yourself more and focus on other things like posture, etc.

One thing I'd also add is to work on makeup in a way even beyond serious. Now, that is not the same as putting on a lot! I'm saying to work with professionals, a lot, over and over again, to get a VERY, VERY natural look. And, I am saying makeup professionals, since drag queens intentionally get it mistoned and over the top (the opposite of what you want). A handful of girls here have done it with talented GGs, so I do say it is possible.

Foundation should be natural. Eyeshadow should be not over the top, and especially working with what you are wearing, your age, where you are at and even the time of day. Each element should be worked on with a tremendous amount of artistry and precision.

If anything I've seen to pull off passibility it has been this:

- Being slim, but not too slim for a woman of your stature
- Padding, if your body needs it
- Incredibly subtle and flattering makeup
- Eyebrows that look within the typical female maintained range (but not too thin, either.)
- Your own real hair, or human hair wigs, done in a very natural and 'normal' feminine style, that being a style to also lays shadow over your (naturally more prominent) jawline and brow ridge (if necessary).
- The clothing tips stated in this thread.

Anyway, please keep this thread going! I wish there were more like this! :)

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

You forgot to mention "don't wear womens jeans". It a dead give away that your a crossdresser!! And I keep forgetting to suck in my gut when I walk by the security cameras in the mall! (And Women don't have guts, btw.. They have mid-riffs!! . )

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watch out Karren your new pic is leaving yourself open for criticism,the Jeans lovers will point to the fact your sporting a "baseball cap" albeit a pink one:heehee:

:hugs:Sophie

Props for putting together a helpful thread, thanks!

There are still clip on earrings made, and a few department stores have them. Like the pose, but have to agree, be yourself. Be comfortable
and well, some just will not pass, but if you enjoy the clothes, ok. Try to look good, and as others have said, look your age and where you
are at.
Char

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Originally Posted by Shayna2008

You can never have enough of these informative threads!

Another important consideration is confidence. Walking through a store with a sense of purpose and objective is important. Looking scared and nervous can draw attention you don't want. Basically look like you've been doing this all your life! Easier said than done, but possible. Took me a while to build up the confidence but after a while the scare-factor fades and it becomes more fun/normal.

A quick tip I'd like to add is comfort. For example, don't buy shoes that are a size too small just because they're the closest size to what you wish was on the rack. If you're comfortable in properly sized clothing, the self-conscious factor goes down and you can enjoy yourself more and focus on other things like posture, etc.

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Yeah, I've definitely seen other CDers at the Salvation Army and I try not to look like them. I always act confident toward the cashier when I check out, and while I'm browsing the clothes I always just look intently at the clothes with a confused look on my face like I don't know what I'm doing. But confident! Definitely confident! I still like the self checkout at Wal-Mart though...

I've found that if I buy shoes a size too small, they usually stretch out a bit to where they fit nicely. Which is nice because there's a much bigger selection of 11s than 12s...

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Originally Posted by Lady Zarabeth

Yes!! this is exactly how I look at things too. There can be no set "rules" for anything we do. Only guidelines becasue we can't all be put into the same category.

Zara

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Yeah, reading this thread, I've realized we all have different goals in our dressing. Some like the feel of wearing women's clothes, some want to pass in public, etc. I guess my goal is to be able to look in the mirror or at a picture of myself and think, wow, that chick is not half bad looking!

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Originally Posted by Eva_nine

a couple tips i have found that help me look my best:

V-necks help alot in disguising broad shoulders.

High heels are fun but GG's rarely wear them out of the house

Jewelry, it helps draw the eyes away from other flaws(thats why GG's wear it too but they are typically hiding slightly different flaws)

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I do like v-necks, especially with either the really short sleeves or the sleeves that come just past your elbows. I've never really identified why I like them, they just seem to look good on me. Maybe that's why. They tend to show a bit of chest hair though, so they usually take a bit of adjusting to minimize that. And I try not to buy anything with no sleeves, since then I'm guaranteed to show some armpit hair. :p

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Originally Posted by charlenesomeone

There are still clip on earrings made, and a few department stores have them. Like the pose, but have to agree, be yourself. Be comfortable
and well, some just will not pass, but if you enjoy the clothes, ok. Try to look good, and as others have said, look your age and where you
are at.
Char

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I like hoop earrings though, and I've never really seen them as clip-ons. So I've been forced to make my own, once out of one of those sets of brain-teasers that's made out of wire shapes where you have to figure out how to disconnect the two parts. I was able to get three different sizes out of that set! :p

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Originally Posted by Sophie_C

One thing I'd also add is to work on makeup in a way even beyond serious. Now, that is not the same as putting on a lot! I'm saying to work with professionals, a lot, over and over again, to get a VERY, VERY natural look. And, I am saying makeup professionals, since drag queens intentionally get it mistoned and over the top (the opposite of what you want). A handful of girls here have done it with talented GGs, so I do say it is possible.

Foundation should be natural. Eyeshadow should be not over the top, and especially working with what you are wearing, your age, where you are at and even the time of day. Each element should be worked on with a tremendous amount of artistry and precision.

If anything I've seen to pull off passibility it has been this:

- Being slim, but not too slim for a woman of your stature
- Padding, if your body needs it
- Incredibly subtle and flattering makeup
- Eyebrows that look within the typical female maintained range (but not too thin, either.)
- Your own real hair, or human hair wigs, done in a very natural and 'normal' feminine style, that being a style to also lays shadow over your (naturally more prominent) jawline and brow ridge (if necessary).
- The clothing tips stated in this thread.

Anyway, please keep this thread going! I wish there were more like this! :)

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I haven't really gotten into using makeup yet. I suppose because putting on and taking off makeup requires the use of the bathroom and I've always lived with other people who I don't want to know about my hobby, not to mention I don't want to hog the bathroom while I'm experimenting. The few times I have tried, I've looked kinda like a teenage punk rock chick that hasn't gotten the hang of makeup yet. :p

My goals right now are first, get a good set of bodyshaping gear, second, lose some weight, third, figure out makeup, and fourth, get a wig that isn't from the Halloween store. Once I do that, I plan to go to one of those CD photo shoots, so I'll have some pictures of me while I'm still in my 20s and can actually look kinda hot as a chick. (I hope!)

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

Little houses on the hillside little houses made of ticky tack and they look just the same. C'mon people if we wanted to blend in just wear what you wear now, Part of the fun is dressing up and being pretty and I love to be noticed.

The OP "rules" may work for posing and static photos but as Karren indicated we don't walk around sticking our butts out and sucking our stomachs in. Neither do GG's! And they don't all put their hand on their hips and bend at the waist or point one foot in front of the other. They don't walk like catwalk models.

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Actually, one of the reasons I looked kinda awkward in those pics is that I had 10 seconds on the self timer to make sure the camera is oriented right, run over to my place while wearing heels, and get in the right pose before it flashed! I usually had time to get my chest and hips right, but didn't pay as much attention to my feet, and just put my hands wherever they happened to be. I got better at it by the time I took pictures of my last outfit. (the one in my avatar) The others, my chest is sticking out too much relative to my butt. The picture in my avatar looks a bit more natural.

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There was a thread not long ago asking why CD's tend to pose in suggestive ways...this thread answers that question. Put your right foot in put your right foot out ...stick out that chest soldier, stand up straight shoulders slumped (because if you throw out your shoulders you look masculine) but do stick out your chest! Wait slump your shoulders and sick out your chest...doesn't that make you look like the crones in every fairytale? Girls don't put their hand on their hips with the fingers in front was one of the first things I was told in how to present...I rarely see women with their fingers in the small of their back unless they have a backache (from slumping and sticking out their chests at the same time no doubt).

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Again, I had maybe a fraction of a second to adjust where my hands were! But I'm impressed that you have enough attention to detail to notice that. But yeah, this pose was conceived as way to look good in a photo or in the mirror, not like I'd go around like that all the time. ;)

I also noticed that the camera is too high. It was maybe a foot above my head, because that was an easy place to mount the tripod. But it makes my feet and legs look funny and probably makes me look shorter. Se the table next to me to get an idea of the angle that picture was taken at.

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Fashion is...well fashion. It is the statement a person makes by donning clothing that they like. If you follow someone else's "fashion advice" it isn't your fashion it is theirs and you are emulating it.

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In that light, I suppose my advice still holds that when picking out clothes, you should pick a "look" and try and make sure all your clothes fit that look. Of course, "drag queen" is a look too!

I just had another thought. Quick, do an impression of a teenage girl going clothes shopping. "Oooh! I got this really cute top that matches that skirt I got on sale last week! And there was a two for one sale, so I found another one that goes with those pink and black shoes I have! I had to get those shoes because I looooooved them, even though they didn't really go with anything I own! But now I have two new outfits I can wear!"

See, most guys don't get the constant obsession with "matching" and "outfits". (in this sense, sets of clothes that go especially well together) But really, I think part of being more feminine also involves thinking like women or at least understanding how they think, in this case on the subject of fashion. It doesn't come naturally to many of us, or even many GGs for that matter, but it can be learned. However, GGs without as much fashion sense are forced to learn the hard way in high school, by the subtle ridicule of their peers when they make mistakes. Eventually, virtually every GG learns at least the basics of fashion. Most CDers are never exposed to those social pressures though. Any thoughts on this?

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Originally Posted by Vir Novum

Actually, one of the reasons I looked kinda awkward in those pics is that I had 10 seconds on the self timer to make sure the camera is oriented right, run over to my place while wearing heels, and get in the right pose before it flashed!

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Been there done that deleted 100 pictures to get one almost good one ;)

I kinda hate open toed shoes as well.. My toes are such hampsters.. I mean they just look out of place in most open toed shoes.. If I wear tights then the little guys look like they belong there but otherwise who let the vermin out?? You know?? I really have gotten to where pumps are my favorite shoes and for me, I'm at the six foot mark, and wearing high heels is a no no for women of my height but my excuse for wearing high heels is I'm not woman so that rule doesn't apply to me. Of course I rarely go out so..

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

Been there done that deleted 100 pictures to get one almost good one ;)

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Funny, the experiences members here have in common! :D

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Originally Posted by Carly D.

I kinda hate open toed shoes as well.. My toes are such hampsters.. I mean they just look out of place in most open toed shoes.. If I wear tights then the little guys look like they belong there but otherwise who let the vermin out?? You know?? I really have gotten to where pumps are my favorite shoes and for me, I'm at the six foot mark, and wearing high heels is a no no for women of my height but my excuse for wearing high heels is I'm not woman so that rule doesn't apply to me. Of course I rarely go out so..

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I suppose if all proportions are larger, from a ways away people may not be able to realize how tall you are. The same holds for photos, thankfully. :)

I've always been incredibly fond of high-heeled boots. It's my favorite part of winter! Come the first cold weather, I can barely watch where I'm going between checking out all the girls in their high-heeled boots. Fortunately, these are quite conducive to CDing.

The best CD clothes leave a fair amount to the imagination, and make people imagine that things are there that aren't, or that things aren't there that are. ;)

The image of me in the mirror wearing a stretchy dress with no bodyshaping gear is still burned into my mind no matter how many times I try to get rid of it! Thankfully, that was an easy lesson learned.

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Also, suck in your gut when the camera flashes! :)

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Yeah that!

And then there's this:

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Originally Posted by LoriLeah

Part of the fun is dressing up and being pretty and I love to be noticed.

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Yeah that, too. Women should take a clue from crossdressers. Dressing up is way pretty, and people like "way pretty". Girls should do "way pretty" more often. And I like doing the "way pretty" thing as much as I'm able to be way pretty. Give or take a few "ways". :battingeyelashes:

I'd steer clear of water balloons, sis. Better to just get some pantyhose, clip off the ends, and fill 'em with rice or birdseed. If you can't afford, or can't explain a set of falsies, that's the way to go. They don't jiggle so much (unless you're into that), and they don't leak or puncture. :eek: And they'll last a good long time.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

I'd steer clear of water balloons, sis. Better to just get some pantyhose, clip off the ends, and fill 'em with rice or birdseed. If you can't afford, or can't explain a set of falsies, that's the way to go. They don't jiggle so much (unless you're into that), and they don't leak or puncture. :eek: And they'll last a good long time.

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Not a bad idea. I haven't had any problems with the balloons popping, since I use the 12-inch ones and just fill them up to the size of boobs, so you can step on them with heels and they won't break. The only problem I've had is when it's cold wherever I was keeping them they don't feel nice at all against the skin! I like that they're bouncy and squishy but that's not something I'd mind giving up.

I concur with guyz aren't taught fashion and matching. Scarily enough, I learned under the guise of spending time with my daughters, "What not to wear" on TLC. To the point that my GG SO asks me for advice.

Virtually every femme photo of me uses the 45-degree shoulder trick because it's absolutely necessary!

Super tips,especially the ones about color.Everyone is so different,but for me staying away from things that are to light really keeps the body looking trim.I keep all my old pics that didn't work and review them in order to find the mistakes,almost all of the bads ones were bad because my colors were wrong,to loud or not right for my complexion.I believe its ok to stretch the boundaries a bit but keep it within reason.And the jeans thing,omg there are so many different styles,they can look good,its just a matter of searching hard enough to find your best style and fit.