A visit to Nordstroms Rack in beautiful Boise

I had a few things I needed to return so why not do it in girl mode! I mean I bought the things in girl mode, l kinda makes sense. I was dressed in a black/white tribal print skirt and a watermelon colored T-shirt and sandals. (What I am wearing I'm my Avatar and Profile pict.) I painted my finger and toe nails, a rarity for me but as it is crazy hot here (90F today!) I knew my toes would be exposed.

I parked near the entrance and made my way to the door fast so as not to melt and then the laughing and finger pointing started...

Wait, no, that didn't happen. No one pointed, no one laughed (while I was around anyway). I took my purchases to the cashier, a young man of about 20 smiled at me and he didn't flinch, hesitate, nothing. I said I had some things to return and his response was a pleasant, "I can help you with that." We had a brief and typical chat that one might have with any cashier and I was on my way. A perfectly normal interaction. Of course, one can't leave with at least looking around the store, which I did and without frightening any of the the other patrons!

To anyone who lives in a part of the country where going out would't be accepted I have to ask, is Boise, Idaho that much more progressive than your town? If you want to get out, go. You'll have fun.

Jennifer,

I think it's pretty awesome that you (and others) get out & about during the normal course of everyday life.

And yes, odds are one will be treated with at least some typical courtesy & respect when face-to-face.


However...

If one is in some sort of "business" setting, whether it be retail, or a restaurant, or whatever, then yes, most if not all staff should & probably will serve a CD as they would any other non-CD customer.

But after that CD is gone? Who knows what happens. And you'll never know. The professional might very well run to the bathroom & literally vomit. Or, perhaps simply chat with one of his/her associates... "Yeah, had some freakin' dude wearing a wig & skirt come in earlier today. I was like, WTF?? Unfortunately I was the only one around at the time, so I had to help him/her/it, whatever that thing was. And their nails were even painted? Really? Totally creeped me out, I'm telling you. I really hope I don't have to experience that ever again."

Is that what one would consider "acceptance"?


And remember, this is in a business environment, of sorts. Outside of that, anything goes, really. I've had some awesome experiences, myself -- as well as some not so great ones. I'm betting many of us here have. It's not all puppies & rainbows & glitter out there when it comes to this whole "trans thing." You realize that even physical violence can occur in some circumstances, right? And yes, some are even *murdered* because of this -- look it up, it's true.

Not saying this is likely to happen, but it can & does.

Again, does that sound like "acceptance" to anyone? Honestly?


In any event, this obviously shouldn't stop anyone from getting out there or anything. Have fun with it, enjoy yourself. But they do need to mindful of where they are, and who they might be around, and how might they be able to handle themselves in certain situations.

As a long time OUT transgender person,I can tell you that there are no angry crowds waving torches and pitchforks. Most people are live and let live. Most importantly is standing up for yourself and your right to be there. Never flinch nor give a clue that you are uncomfortable. People take people at face value in most situations and don't know what is in your panties if you don't share..No one knows if you are full time,or just a dresser out for the day..and there is no need to share that. Who cares what "they" think?

I haven't been out in public in femme since, um, 48 hours ago. Met a guy at a restaurant. Got food and drink. Waitress, bartender and other customers got a good look. Didn't see any torches or weapons. Paid the bill (split it) and left a reasonable tip. Left and drove home, alone. Yes, I've had a few instances over the past few years where someone "made" me as a guy in a skirt. Usually spotted by a 20-something woman who nudged and whispered to her boyfriend/husband. Maybe they giggled and stared but they didn't call in the torch-bearing mob. And, this is in conservative New Hampshire.
Go out. Enjoy being out there!

Thanks Jennifer for sharing your pleasant experience. I too find it to nearly always to be just that a very pleasant experience and your way of telling it was so cute. Once again thanks for sharing
Leigh

Laura, those are some pretty wild what-ifs, but let me take a crack at this:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by laurababe

...However...

If one is in some sort of "business" setting, whether it be retail, or a restaurant, or whatever, then yes, most if not all staff should & probably will serve a CD as they would any other non-CD customer...

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Yep. In my experience and the experience of my CD friends, this is true 100% of time. My money is green just like when I am in dude mode.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by laurababe

... But after that CD is gone? Who knows what happens. And you'll never know. The professional might very well run to the bathroom & literally vomit. ...

---

Well first, I have to reevaluate my deodorant. And secondly, you are suggesting that this person was able to choke down their vomit while treating me with courtesy and respect. Does that really seem like something that could happen?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by laurababe

...But after that CD is gone? Who knows what happens. And you'll never know. ... Or, perhaps simply chat with one of his/her associates... "Yeah, had some freakin' dude wearing a wig & skirt come in earlier today. I was like, WTF?? Unfortunately I was the only one around at the time, so I had to help him/her/it, whatever that thing was. And their nails were even painted? Really? Totally creeped me out, I'm telling you. I really hope I don't have to experience that ever again."

Is that what one would consider "acceptance"?..

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I would not call what you wrote as "acceptance." Rather, I would call it tolerance. It's like gay marriage. You don't have to like it. You don't have to agree with it. But you do have to respect it.

Still, as you suggested, I was treated with courtesy and respect (like any normal) and then I left. How am I adversely affected by a person I do not know, and with whom I am not interacting, laughing at me or even hating me? I am not affected. There is ZERO adverse affect.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by laurababe

...And remember, this is in a business environment, of sorts. Outside of that, anything goes, really. I've had some awesome experiences, myself -- as well as some not so great ones. I'm betting many of us here have. It's not all puppies & rainbows & glitter out there when it comes to this whole "trans thing." You realize that even physical violence can occur in some circumstances, right? And yes, some are even *murdered* because of this -- look it up, it's true.

Not saying this is likely to happen, but it can & does.

Again, does that sound like "acceptance" to anyone? Honestly?....

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I have never written nor suggested that "..all puppies & rainbows & glitter out there..." In fact, after 5 years on this forum, I have NEVER read that from any poster. I am curious where you got that notion. Of course the world is not fair. Is this news? We have terror attacks but we still go out. In the USA, there are multiple mass shootings, LITERALLY, ever week, And yet, people still go out. No one can live a life behind a closed door ordering everything on Amazon. Life is "out there." So again, in response to your extreme examples, in my experience, we are accepted and at the worst, widely tolerated.

I'm not going to play tit-for-tat. I'm just not like that. And believe it or not, I do enjoy reading your threads. :)

But I do want to respond to this...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

How am I adversely affected by a person I do not know, and with whom I am not interacting, laughing at me or even hating me? I am not affected. There is ZERO adverse affect.

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For whom, again?

Maybe some *others* simply don't want to be around that. Whether it makes them feel uncomfortable, or have their own religious beliefs, or don't want their young children exposed to that, or whatever.

It's not always just about us. Don't they also have the right to live their life in a society that they deem acceptable, just as any of us do?


And no, I'm not saying to go hide behind a closed door & order everything on Amazon. What was that about extremes, again? ;)

But again, I know it might be difficult for some to believe, but there are some people out there who *really* don't care for this kind of stuff. Yes, there will be actual (not exaggerated) hate or anger or disgust or disapproval, or simply sick & tired of the "whole trans thing being shoved down their throat all the time," or whatever. And yes, they are a sizeable-enough chunk of the general population -- whether or not they may show outward signs of it in front of a CD'er at the time.


Anyway, who knows what was going through that SA's head at the time he was assisting you. And if he was any good at his job, you probably wouldn't be able to tell.

Heck, maybe it was nothing. Or maybe he even found you attractive, so after his shift, he raced home, threw on a pair of his own panties, and had a "great time." :laughing:

Hey Jen, I got to pass thru Boise last year and found the size of the city and people very similar to those here in Little Rock. I was in Idaho to raft, not shop, but I still found the folks friendly. I have been going out in public in Little Rock for almost 25 years. I have only been called out once by a teenage girl working at a bakery. Her boss took over and corrected the situation. Most folks call me by appropriate pronouns and don't even snicker or double take when I interact with them. I've even gone as far to check the reactions by having someone who's out with me watching.
Last Friday I did roughly what you did at a store here called Belk. The store chain is based throughout the S.E. but is like Nordstroms. I was treated just like the other ladies and had a wonderful time going thru the dresses in a big sale. I got my dress and they got their money and every one was happy!

Hi Jennifer,

I was out and about dressed for the first time in years last week and it was a fantastic experience. The fact that I was able to do so was largely due to your encouraging posts. My next day out is already planned and I expect I'll have a similar experience then. Thanks!

Elizabeth

Hi Jennifer.

Good to know you're still such a level-headed girl! :cool: