I just need to dedicate some time to it and find a way to safely get dressed without my neighbors seeing me when I leave. Which is pretty impossible. So that leaves getting dressed outside of my home, which also very difficult. Really in my truck is the only way...but that?s very hard to do. Ugh...So frustrated. Anyone else dealing with this and find a solution?
I'm interested to know of solutions as well. I have building work going on at my property, and very attentive neighbours who are around 24/7. I have a field out the back of my house that I could walk around in, but there are often unsavoury types in the car park doing a drive in/out drug deal and I'm not going near that dresser or not!
Do you have any transformation studios close to where you live or work?
This may or may not work for you, but I have accomplished the stealth exit in the past this way...( but my car is in the attached garage) I do all my makeup and put on my dress etc. but leave off the wig. I put on a pair of sun glasses to hide my eye makeup and a jacket or sweatshirt over my blouse. I open up the garage door and away I go. I then find a subtle place to put on my wig and fix anything I might need to.:o
When you say outside do you mean literally being outside of your house or do you mean out and about among people (as much as covid social distancing will permit)? Back before I dared venture directly out from my house, I often carried a bag and changed in a public rest area using the family restroom.
Considering all the posts you have commented on what is the opinion of your wife? Is she on board with it? Aside from that issue I have found my comfort zone for going en femme outside my home is drives and strolls in the early evening. It's starting to get dark earlier. If you want to check on the best dates for sneaking outside without your neighbors seeing you go on-line and check when there is a "new moon" and sunset, etc. You have not stated whether you live in a home/house or an apartment complex. The biggest issue many people have is security lights blazing away.
When I go out I turn off my outside lights. No chance of me activating my lights. My car is parked fifty feet from the street. If there is a "new moon" that eliminates moon light. No security light. Years ago the dome light in my car burned out and I have been too lazy to replace it. Hence, when I open the car door light does not flood the interior. You can always hank the dome light out for the evening.
If your wife drives a car I suggest using her vehicle for your drive. I would recommend getting a wig which would more closely reflect your wife's hair color and style. If your wife is a blond and your wig is red a neighbor may be curious as to who is driving your wife's car. The same inquiry may be made with a blazing redhead driving a truck.
Once you're on the road the question will arrive as to your comfort zone. I am six foot and 200 pounds. My comfort zone is not a mall. I choose a residential neighborhood that has stores and restaurants which the locals patronize. There are 24 hour grocery stores. In the fall and winter when it gets dark early it is not unusual to see women toting a grocery bag from the local Safeway on the way home. The eye sees normalcy. I live in Washington State where it rains too much in the fall and winter. Out comes the umbrella for a stroll "home from the grocery store." The umbrella is useful for me because it obscures my face and to some extent my height.
If you're going to go for an evening stroll I recommend comfortable footwear. High heels tend to make a lot of noise. I wear a wedge with a lower rise than my heels. The shoe also has deadening soles. No clicking to turn heads. It is not unusual to see young women walking home from a bus stop wearing athletic shoes. That can be a good choice to wear a women's athletic shoe with colorful laces and carry a clear tote with a pair of heels. In my small city there are steep inclines in the financial area so it is not usual to see women walking to and from work carrying their office heels in a tote to change into when arriving at work.
Once out of the home there is always the possibility of something happening for which you're unprepared. Carry a "man bag" with a change of clothing in case you get a flat tire. Make sure all your vehicle lights are working. I am way past the psychological need to wear nail color and excessive makeup on my strolls. I wear just enough facial makeup to make myself feel feminine but little enough to remove easily if necessary.
At some point you may find yourself ready for that foray to the mall and interacting with sales associates. If I was five foot six and 120 pounds I would be in that comfort zone. But, that is not to be in this lifetime. Maybe the next time around.
Chloe,
Normally I would suggest a social group but most are closed down with through Covid 19 . Anoter option is to find a way of taking some time away as Helen Highwater does . If you are still consulting a counsellor then you could dress for the session , most counsellors don't have a problem with that .
Recently you wrote ————
She is trying her best to be supportive, despite it being weird, and a big turn off for her. She loves me and is trying to be understanding and accepting because of that. She just has limits she doesn?t want me to cross. -——-
Since I do not know her limitations I am not sure and normally I would say just tell her what you told us and see if she has ideas.
But
If I remember correctly recently you by accident went over some some limits you thought were ok but were not . ( buying forms I think )
Everyone is on edge with this staying home so do not rock the boat if it would be going over something she would not feel comfortable with.
But if she would be ok then ask her for suggestions ,solutions.
I got over trying to dress elsewhere a long time ago and just dressed how I want and leave. I live in a cul-de-sac and every one can see what all goes on - some even wave or say hello, not knowing who that person is as in maybe a friend or a visitor - never had a problem and much more relaxing ..............................Debra
See if you have something like TranSpace in your area.
http://www.transpace.transg.org/
Or better yet, forget about the neighbors and do what makes you happy.
Been doing it for years. Drive out the driveway and down our narrow street to the fast moving 4 lane road a block away.:thumbsup:
I wear a thin male jacket over my fem outfit. Remove my wig and wear a baseball cap and wide sun glasses. The last 2 effectively hide my makeup inside the car. There's also the fold down sun shade in my car if needed.:daydreaming:
All I have to do when I get where I'm going is put on my wig!:battingeyelashes:
Rent a storage unit. You can keep everything there.
Changing back you could do in the car. Makeup remover ,sweat pants and hoodie.
Or dress at home cover up and do makeup in the car.
I've done it all.
get a hotel room
hi cloe, been mia here for a while....first off take heed to Di's post....i was essential and my wife had been working from home, have been out and very social w wife's blessing but"cant leave the house dressed" so i put on as much as i inside home before i leave, kiss goodby, bathroom, pants...skirt under jeans....bra...top under dress shirt untucked, hides panties if they show up. drive off to nearby professional building next to hospital, pick a spot away from traffic but not too far off....open my bag and get all items set up, i remove my boy pants first and put on shoes i will drive in, dont drive in heels and rarely wear them out as im 6'....then remove my top fill bra with forms and add the wig last, if i only have the bra ready womens top then wig.
when coming home there was a gym off the local parkway and would undo there, they closed so i now use the commuter lot next door, figure if someone saw me fidgeting with clothes there its just changing gym stuff or now work for casual in the commuter lot, cautiously in plain sight works for me, im never naked. not doing makeup at the time being, stupid mask covers the beard shadow and i wear it in the car as i drive around, pull it up when i get where im going....good luck....hope this helped.
Love that story !
There must be 50 ways to go out and about dressed.
Normally, I do like Maryann in Post No. 4. My wife may even go shopping for a few hours so I can get pretty without her seeing me dressed.
But, I've gone to therapy early and changed in the bathroom, and changed back afterwards.
I've changed in bathroom stalls, mostly in the hotels that we meet at, but sometime just a random bathroom.
I've changed in parking lots and garages. I do recon to check out safety and solitariness.
I've changed at TG friends' houses.
If there's a will, there's a way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe_S
I take it you don't have a garage? If you are in your truck and leave from the garage, just leave the wig off. People can't see into windows anyway, much less makeup in a car or truck. If nothing else, do your Foundation inside and just do lipstick in the truck.
In the northern hemisphere, we will be going off daylight savings soon, so it will be dark around 5. Just go out after dark and people won't be able to tell.
Not that they are looking anyway. These days, everyone is looking at screens anyway. Do YOU ever look out and notice who is going in or out?
Plus, now is the perfect time. Go out Saturday. If anyone sees you--and likely they won't--just say you were going to a Halloween party. Or the following Saturday, which is Halloween, a/k/a the National Crossdresser's holiday.
I've gone out in jeans and a women's top (with boobs) under a hoodie. I've worn a skirt under sweatpants. I've used (pre-Covid) the family change rooms at the Y to dress. And I've changed in the car--or done makeup in a car, or cleaned up afterwards in a car, lots of times.
If you change your mindset from "I can't do this" to "I can do this" you will figure out a way.
Four years ago I couldn't conceive of going out.
I did it once, and figured out it wasn't as complicated as I thought. I've been out probably 200 times since.
Quit thinking, start doing.
P.S. And the same applies to you Charlotte.
Or, consider exchanging your truck for a used class B RV, use it as your car as well as a place to change, sleep, do weekends, keep your clothes and stuff there. Try a state park en femme?
Ineke
I don't know. I'm not even sure what those are.Quote:
Originally Posted by PetiteDuality
Ya, out and about. Maybe just an errand, or shopping or something simple like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by kimdl93
I'll look into the transpace, thanks. The whole, "what makes you happy" philosophy is just not something that will work. There are negative consequences to it that I need to avoid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Robertacd
There are suggestions about selling my truck, not an option. My wife and I tightly budget and allocate our money to maximize savings and investments. Renting a hotel room, storage unit, or anything of that is simply not in the budget. We just have bigger priorities, ya know.
My wife is fine with me going out. She is not an issue. :)
I like the garage idea. I might do that. Thanks.
I have been living in an single apartment on my own, for nearly 12 years and simply cannot get to my car without going past at least 2 other Apartments at a minimum. Over the years, I have put on my girl stuff under guy stuff and then carry shoes, wig and handbag in another bag and swap over in the car when I am away from home and during the cooler weather, I put everything on and a light jacket over it and walk out the door.
It is one of several reasons why I don't really go out much anymore and I almost never dress up, just to sit at home. I have been thinning out my wardrobe lately anyway and really only keeping things that are harder to replace like wigs and shoes and have reduced my femme clothing
Since your wife is fine :) ,I did not want to have you rock the boat if she was not.
Whew then great , I like Mykells ideas.
Sher used to do something like that when needed. She did her makeup at home , dress ect but put workout pants ( sweats) over and a big jacket big sunglasses and a ball cap .. would only have to put the wig in in the car and take off the outer clothing . Now days you can wear a mask and that would cover up the lower face and just touch up lippy.