affecting my sleep.

OK, here is an issue I never thought I would have. I have a wife with me 24x7 except for her 45 minute bicycle rides every day.

I do a quick dress up for 1/2 an hour, no makeup, no hair except a brush through or two. I am finding that this amount of activity is not scratching this itch I have to dress.

I find myself dreaming at night about dressing, waking myself up at 2 am. Just lying in bed for hours thinking about makeup, hair and clothes and 3 pairs of new shoes I need to get.

I consider myself a man's man. I do motorcycle trips and I can build stuff and I am looked upon by my wife as the man she loves. She does not want to see me dressed. I asked but it was a flat no.
We do kid around about panties and I ask where she bought those cute polka dot pair. Polka dot clothes is good luck during new years we were told. I do not want to miss out on good luck.

The question is, and I am getting concerned here. Are my urges more than CD? I do want to go out in public dressed but I have not done it yet. I want to improve my look first.
Am I really TG and been lying to myself all these years? By keeping it buried and this emergency thing going on has me stressed out and this is how I am dealing with it?

Natalie

Natalie, I think there are several reasons for a lack of sleep and the obvious one of course is the crazy spread of this virus. I also think that with myself, the lack of exercise and just being less busy has caused my sleep to not be as good. I also believe that with being with my wife almost 24/7 is another reason. I love her dearly but I like going off to do my own things.

Just my opinion, but it sounds like the typical pink fog that envelopes a CD.

Marion

hello Natalie,
Being deprived of something we strongly want to do will make us unhappy. We start to get stressed because of that. Not being to distract ourselves during the Covid restrictions means we cannot avoid it. We have extra time to think... We are crossdressers; that is never going to go away. There is a gender element to our dressing.
Perhaps you could strike a deal - explain to your wife that not being to dress is really really really stressful and ask if you could dress in a separate room for an hour a day without her seeing you? Perhaps you could under-dress - be outwardly manly with feminine core?
just some suggestions.
stay healthy!
luv J

Natalie, My crossdressing or trans dreams have been more vivid than normal since shuttered in my house. I constantly have CDing dreams, but lately I am having dreams where I am actually a woman which is a switch. I don't worry it that much. I am otherwise happy my life and think its\'s just the stress of what's going on around us.

From the day I wore my first pair of pantyhose, stress relief has and is a part of my now dressing totally. With a supportive wife, I?ve not had any dressing issues other than going out dressed..small town. Now that we are sequestered, I find I spend more time on details...nails, makeup, what to wear. I dress daily as just part of the day. I find my desire to go out seems to have increased though.

Sounds like pink fog to me it will pass.

Given that many of us here are in similar DADT relationships with our unaccepting wives or SO's - and which are exacerbated by a bit too much "togetherness" time during the current 24/7 self-isolation requirements - your yearnings are far from unique. To now extrapolate that into thinking that this might be indicative of your CDing heading in the direction of full transsexualism and the desire to transition might be a bit of a stretch, given the tremper of the times. This question would more legitimately need to be addressed during more normal times for the answer to be meaningful.

Personally, I would be more concerned about your wife's "flat no" response to your request to have more crossdressing time beyond the daily 45 minutes of "grace time" permitted to you while she goes out cycling and attending to her own needs.

Self-centered much? Where is the kindness, compassion and caring here that all of us have a right to expect in a healthy relationship, and that is respectful of your needs as well?

I think circling around like a lion in a cage has some side effects on everyone :) If this TG shift did not strike you before the confinement I would explain the surge by the latter. Like Leslie said, better differ existential questions like this to when the Covid dust has settled.

No, you're just suffering a lot of angst because you're deprived. Natalie is not getting any play time. If your wife is aware of your needs, but, does not want to see it, she needs to take longer road trips. With the coronavirus, my wife recovering from total knee replacement, and retirement I am driven to distraction too. My only outlet is wearing a floor length nylon nightgown and a nylon panty. Due to my wife's recovery she sleeps on the other side of the house. I sleep through the night and, sometimes do awaken with a nice dream still going on in my "head!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

Self-centered much? Where is the kindness, compassion and caring here that all of us have a right to expect in a healthy relationship, and that is respectful of your needs as well?

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It probably flew out the window when he "warned " her not to come home without letting him know first or she would see how much he looked like his mom or sister , at the beginning of this .
I don't know many women you could "warn" like that and get a positive response .

It does not mean you are a transsexual, if that is what you mean by "TG".

Instead of being upset about not dressing, why not spend some quality time with your wife? Be thankful you have a partner who loves you, and that you are both safe.

Natalie, it called my attention to thread about your first time "out", the. I checked your profile and read your I introduction and then this one.
I can see that mostly cds are commenting here.
in my opinion, there's a huge difference between a crossdresser that does it from time to time, go out and then go back and keep his normal life up to what they call "pink fog" attacks again, with some one that has been dressing for 30 years, then find this web, in few days is going out for the first time and enjoy it and then express anguish (people here attribute it to the pandemic, that's wrong)
You mentioned about sleeping problems and ask for help.
I see myself some years ago on all you expose.

You talk about several issues, after all this years, now you want to get out, it's a very common phenomen and doctors as well mental professional assig to a decrease in testosterone but not a sure explanation. Another important is your wife and a flat no.
I'm married too, 41 years same wife all those beautiful years and cding for 30 more years, and now a transexual living happily both together. She's an amazing woman. She could probably have more reason to reject me because when I came out to her I included being bisexual. It's a long story and, honestly no time now to tell it and may be you would just discard it.
I recommend you go to a therapist.
They won't give you and answer but will help you to find stability and show options and strategies to work out with your wife.
Here you will find a lot of wisdom but just personal experiences, all we are different, please don't think that what happened to me is going to happen to you, it could but I would discard "ping fog" or being just a crossdresser because what happen to you is more than just dressing.
You can pm whenever you want.
Good luck.
Mho.
Devi

I wouldn't read too much into this. It certainly doesn't make you a transsexual. You are just daydreaming about doing something you enjoy.

No worries dear, we all love the time we get to spend as our feminine self. When you spend 24/7 with your wife and don't get that "me time" you crave, your mind finds ways to fill in the blanks. Once you get to have more time as Natalie, your sleep schedule should go back to normal... or not.:D