My story - How do I start?

Good evening ladies.

I'm completely new into the crossdressing way of life. I'm struggling with myself for quite some time now. Let me tell you my story how it all began.

I'm a 23-year old man living in Europe. When I reached puberty, I had a lot of questions about myself. I never really hated my male body however. I was always wondering how life would be in a female body. I was intrigued. Apart from that, my curiosity in women's clothes had risen through the roof.
For me, it all started with pantyhose. The smooth feeling of the nylon fabric is heavenly. I first wore one when I was about 15-years old. I wore them secretly under my pants or when I was alone in my bedroom. In case you were wondering: it was and still isn't a sexual thing. I don't get aroused when wearing them.

I started collecting them. Black, nude, brown pantyhose, fishnet pantyhose, sheer hold-ups.. This part continues for about a year. Questioning myself, I became disgusted from the idea. I was frightened that someone (my parents or sister) would discover my secret stash. I threw them away.

When I reached 18 years, I went to college and I went to a dorm room (student house). I really enjoyed the freedom. My affection for womanhood came back. I bought a couple pairs of pantyhose and even a pair of black heels. I also painted my toenails a couple of times!
I never went beyond those tiny, little girly steps.

I'm now 23 years old like I previously said. For the third time in my life, I started questioning myself and my gender. I think I always wanted to be a woman. Nevertheless, I'll never take a step into transgendering. My friends, my parents, my girlfriend, they can't handle with that. Neither do I, I think.

The best option I have is crossdressing. Those tiny things - the painted toenails, the heels, the hose - it frees me. I feel like i'm more 'me' when I'm crossdressing.


You can tell by my story that I'm really underexperienced. I don't have any women's clothes now. I threw everything away a long time ago.
I wish to start over and go into full girl mode now! Step by step, I want to discover myself and my inner me. I want to free myself.
Slow and steady.

Therefore, I need your help. I'm a big guy (110kg, 242lb and 172 cm, 5ft 8inch). I really don't know what kind of clothes fit me well. My shoe size is 42 (size 9 in US.)

I honestly don't know where to start. Hosiery first again? Shoes?


I'm sorry for this long and chaotic post. English is not my first language and I'm completely new to this.

With love

Helena

Hi Helena:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.

What ever questions that you have there is a 99.875 % chance that one or more
of the ladies here will have an answer for you. >Orchid ...:daydreaming:...

Helena - welcome to the Forum! The best place to learn and feel accepted for who you are, whatever that may be.
So you do not think you are a woman, so not a transsexual. You like the feminine aspects of what society says are woman's things - pantyhose, heels, nail polish. I also would prefer that society did not care who used those.
You say you want to go into "full girl mode", but also slow and steady. One option into "full girl mode" is to arrange a transformation session where an experienced person helps you dress and does your makeup and takes pictures. This will quickly show you what is possible without you having to buy much. People here may have suggestions where to go near you. Or for slow and steady, hosiery and painted toes is easy way to restart. You mention a girlfriend - if she would be supportive, then letting her set a pace that she is comfortable with would also be a great way to build a fantastic relationship. You also need to decide what look you are going for - blendable or more fashionable or retro looks.
Hugs, Ellen

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ClosetED

Helena - welcome to the Forum! The best place to learn and feel accepted for who you are, whatever that may be.
So you do not think you are a woman, so not a transsexual. You like the feminine aspects of what society says are woman's things - pantyhose, heels, nail polish. I also would prefer that society did not care who used those.
You say you want to go into "full girl mode", but also slow and steady. One option into "full girl mode" is to arrange a transformation session where an experienced person helps you dress and does your makeup and takes pictures. This will quickly show you what is possible without you having to buy much. People here may have suggestions where to go near you. Or for slow and steady, hosiery and painted toes is easy way to restart. You mention a girlfriend - if she would be supportive, then letting her set a pace that she is comfortable with would also be a great way to build a fantastic relationship. You also need to decide what look you are going for - blendable or more fashionable or retro looks.
Hugs, Ellen

---

Hi Ellen!

You're absolutely correct. I don't feel like a woman, I just want so desperately to be one, however that's never going to happen. I wish I was born that way and if could push a button that transforms me, I'd push it without hesitation. But the highest point I can reach, is pretending to be one. Act like a woman and ultimately feel like as if I am a woman.

I like your first idea, but I would rather keep it a secret for now, even for my girlfriend. I'm not sure if she can handle this situation and I would like to explore this part of my life alone. For now.. There will be a moment when I can tell her or even somebody else.

So I would go for option 2. Slow and steady. Step by step. I'd like to start easy. So I would like to go for a fashionable look.
A look that's very feminine, but not trashy. Heels, but no platforms or 5-inchers. I think that ballerina flats or just as girly as heels for example.
I want to look as a woman, not a man in a women's outfit.
I'm pretty aware that this will not be very easy.


Thank you for your opinion and support!

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID

Hi Helena:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.

What ever questions that you have there is a 99.875 % chance that one or more
of the ladies here will have an answer for you. >Orchid ...:daydreaming:...

---

Thank you Blue Orchid! I'm pretty sure you girls are all very supportive and kind.

Hugs, Helena

Welcome, Helena, grow and explore with us. Glad you are getting more comfortable with your feminine side. It's a part of you, and the ladies on this forum, so you are in good company. Don't deny it. It only gets worse. If your GF is a serious prospects, let her in on it as soon as you are comfortable. If she supports you, great. If not, better to know sooner. Julie

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JuliePtown

Welcome, Helena, grow and explore with us. Glad you are getting more comfortable with your feminine side. It's a part of you, and the ladies on this forum, so you are in good company. Don't deny it. It only gets worse. If your GF is a serious prospects, let her in on it as soon as you are comfortable. If she supports you, great. If not, better to know sooner. Julie

---

Hello Julie! I know, you're right. I went through that phase twice. I denied it, was even disgusted of myself, but the feeling came back stronger. I can't lie to myself anymore.
I have to accept that I'm a man, but that won't stop me from acting or being who I truly want to be.
You're also right about my girlfriend. She knows I have some special feelings about the pantyhose. She doesn't know that I wear them like she does - yet.

Hugs, Helena.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Helena93

I want to look as a woman, not a man in a women's outfit.
I'm pretty aware that this will not be very easy.

---

Hi Helena, welcome!

The world is full of women who are your height and weight, so there is absolutely no reason why you couldn't look as much of a woman as they do. You say you want to avoid a trashy look, so this means no short skirts, no plunging necklines, not much skin showing, and conservative wig & makeup- all very obvious really.

Look at the world around you. Go and find a comfortable coffee shop and just watch what larger women wear. I'd say avoid bright colours and things that cling to your upper body. If you like a more formal officey look, consider trouser suits over a sensible blouse; if you want a more hippy look, go for layers of loose, floaty things and choose large items of jewelry.

Where you are so fortunate, and I am so jealous, is that your feet will fit many women's shoes, and this is where you could really experiment, if you can find shops that are ok with you trying things on. I'd advise you go for 50% comfort and 50% style. Never ever buy anything that is just a bit too tight, you will always regret it, even if you are totally in love with the item.

Without knowing more about what sort of clothes excite you, it's hard to give better advice.

I hope you have fun, please do let us know how it goes.

Helena,

Welcome, you've come to the right place to find help and encouragement.

As Nikki quite rightly points out, your size is going to work in your favour especially in shoes. Read here and you'll find lots who would love to have your size feet as you'll have loads of shoes to chose from right off the shelf. AS for clothes, the advice already given about not going OTT is sound. A mistake many make when setting out is to think they can dress the same as super models. keep it toned down, it doesn't have to be dull, just think smart casual, comfort over speed.

Have a good trawl through the Picture and Video forum and you'll see many good examples of what I mean. Good luck on your journey. Keep us posted.

Hi Helena,
Welcome to our little corner of the Internet. I hop that you will find the help and encouragement that you want.
Reading your story so far took me back to when I was in my early twenties, when I felt and thought many of the feelings and thoughts that you are describing.
Helen and Nikki have already given you very sound advice. Let me add some things from my experience,

• I understand that you want to do some investigation / experimentation before revealing anything to your girlfriend. I presume that your reasoning is that there's no point introducing this 'big issue' into your relationship, with all the risks that entails, if its only 'a passing fancy'. To that, i would reply that it doesn't sound like a passing fancy and that the longer you delay in telling your girlfriend the bigger an issue it will be.
• I don't know where in Europe you are but... find someone who does makeovers for crossdressers and treat yourself to a makeover - not merely for an hour but for 2 or 3 hours if you can afford it. There is nothing to compare with the experience of seeing yourself as a girl for the first time!
• Sorry to be personal but... lose some weight! I'm around the 110 kg mark myself but I'm also 6' 1", and i need to lose 10 kg minimum. You're several inches shorter than me (which makes wearing high heels less of an issue - lucky you). Do it now while you're young and active and its relatively easy. There's nothing wrong with being a 'big girl' but drop down a couple of sizes and you'll have a better range of clothes (there's the necessary motivation!).

Good luck and keep us posted!
Judith xx

Hello,

Welcome this is a great place! The good news is you started to understand yourself earlier which is better than I did. The best things to do is keep an open mind, feel out your SO and try some therapy to have someone to talk to. This helped me the most.

hat on this forum as you will see there are many like you and stop purging your stuff, you will always buy it back...believe me ! This group must have lost allot of money doing that. lol ..

If you need anything ask..!

Hi Helena, not much to add to the very sound advice already given, but just wanted to say welcome and hope you find this place as much of a help as I did. One thing I will say is that at 23 you are still very young, compared to many of us, and have lots of time to find and perfect your ideal look.

Hi Helena and welcome here,

Oh how I wish I was your age and had access to the Internet information resources that you have now! When I was your age, the world was still black and white and the wheel had just been invented! To top it off, being 5ft8 with a size 9 shoe! Yes, you have it made!

You can get a lot of advise on this forum, some good, some bad. My first piece of advice: Be careful what advise you listen to from here!
You just joined, so I would suggest you spend some time reading back on all the stories about other peoples experience. You will get a better understanding of how diverse this group really is and how different everybody's situation can be, even though we find that we have something in common, and you might find some information that fits your own situation.

The world is changing, and being something other than Male or Female is becoming more tolerated. Probably not exactly fully accepted yet, then at least more tolerated. More than anything, it is up to you how easy it is going to be to be accepted! You will find that people are much more willing to accept you expressing some gender fluidity or gender variance, if you yourself accept it fully. In other words, if you were to dress as a girl and walk through town with your head held high, people would be much more accepting than if you were showing discomfort, fear or guilt, sneaking around in the darkness.

Quote:

---

Nevertheless, I'll never take a step into transgendering. My friends, my parents, my girlfriend, they can't handle with that. Neither do I, I think.

---

If you are transsexual, it is not a choice! If you are transsexual, you will sooner or later get to the realization that regardless of what friends, parents and girlfriend would think, you have to change to survive.
From what you have said so far, you are probably not transsexual. More likely, you just enjoy the thought and feeling of dressing, and maybe even fully presenting, as a girl/woman. Most here recognize that as being a crossdresser, someone who enjoys wearing the opposite genders clothing.
Some like one or more specific things, like pantyhose or high heels, others like to dress and present fully like the opposite gender. Either way is fine, there is nothing wrong with any of these variations, although some here will always argue that their way is the only way. Dont let that bother you.

I do find it curious that you have been playing with this for 8 years, but still have only tried on pantyhose, heels and some nailpolish. Growing up with a sister, and a mother, in the house, I think most would have tried on some of their clothing as well.
However, if you enjoy the hose and the heels, and you feel you would like to try getting completely dressed, then I can pretty much promise you that you are in for a fantastic moment when you for the first time see "the girl" looking back at you in the mirror!

As for keeping it a secret then I will tell you this: You will eventually be found out, and the deeper you are into this the more difficult that time will be.
If you have the guts to do so, and if you can accept that some people will find you to be weird and that they, because of their own limitations, may think less of you for a while, it would be a lot better to just openly admit that you enjoy this! I think most of us wish we would have had the nerve to just admit to it at your age.

Oh and as several others have already said .. stop throwing your things away! It is just a waste of money and it doesnt solve the problem.

Hugs
Suzie

Hi, Helena! Welcome to the forum. Throwing your stuff away is called purging, DO NOT PURGE! Mostly because you may throw something you may want later and it is too late and it costs money to replace things! I would say go with the pantyhose and shoes and nailpolish then add maybe a dress or a blouse and skirt or pants. Take it slow and make an outfit at a time. Goes as far as you want no pressure it is you not someone else. It is not going away and you might as well enjoy. Best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lana Mae

Hi, Helena! Welcome to the forum. Throwing your stuff away is called purging, DO NOT PURGE!

---

Listen to Lana Mae....she is correct! I wish i had much of my stuff back

Hi Helena
my $.02 worth
Enjoy all the learning you can here and from any REASONABLE place where you can safely and effectively gain knowledge.
Seek out a local organization if any exist and meet some peers in person in a safe and friendly environment
Live YOUR life!
Everybody has a different experience in life make sure you are honest with yourself
Advise and in put is always welcomed but dont let others determine your path
look ahead and back once in a while to make sure you are in the right place
and above all else have fun!
Cheers
Cath

Hi Helena,
Welcome to the big board of advice! So many perspectives and lots to share in this hall of mirrors. I am happy to be the 'man dressed as a woman' figure in your story, but I can still hear the precision with which you are describing what you feel, and your plans. Once we decide to escape our gender prisons, we never turn back, because the underlying motivation is very simple- we want to feel more of what life has to offer.

The importance of this is that you might as well tell your girlfriend now and save her the grief of spending time with you if she turns out not to feel comfortable with you 'pretending to be a woman', or more generously stated- 'enjoying as much as I can of the woman's world'. You want to pair with someone who embraces that, and the sooner you start showing yourself the sooner you will find an SO who does!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nikkilovesdresses

Hi Helena, welcome!

The world is full of women who are your height and weight, so there is absolutely no reason why you couldn't look as much of a woman as they do. You say you want to avoid a trashy look, so this means no short skirts, no plunging necklines, not much skin showing, and conservative wig & makeup- all very obvious really.

Look at the world around you. Go and find a comfortable coffee shop and just watch what larger women wear. I'd say avoid bright colours and things that cling to your upper body. If you like a more formal officey look, consider trouser suits over a sensible blouse; if you want a more hippy look, go for layers of loose, floaty things and choose large items of jewelry.

Where you are so fortunate, and I am so jealous, is that your feet will fit many women's shoes, and this is where you could really experiment, if you can find shops that are ok with you trying things on. I'd advise you go for 50% comfort and 50% style. Never ever buy anything that is just a bit too tight, you will always regret it, even if you are totally in love with the item.

Without knowing more about what sort of clothes excite you, it's hard to give better advice.

I hope you have fun, please do let us know how it goes.

---

Hi Nikki!

Thank you for your advice! It's a great idea to prospect and to check what other women wear.
I have absolutely no sense for women's style of dressing. I think I'll be a disaster if I have to match and pair women's clothes.

Yes, I'm aware of that! I'm thankfully blessed with a rather small shoe size (for men). I definitely will experiment, as you said.

I'll keep you posted.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater

Helena,

Welcome, you've come to the right place to find help and encouragement.

As Nikki quite rightly points out, your size is going to work in your favour especially in shoes. Read here and you'll find lots who would love to have your size feet as you'll have loads of shoes to chose from right off the shelf. AS for clothes, the advice already given about not going OTT is sound. A mistake many make when setting out is to think they can dress the same as super models. keep it toned down, it doesn't have to be dull, just think smart casual, comfort over speed.

Have a good trawl through the Picture and Video forum and you'll see many good examples of what I mean. Good luck on your journey. Keep us posted.

---

Hi Helen!

As I said to Nikki, I'm greatful for my feet size! I think there are a lot of possibilities. I'll keep your clothing advice in my mind!

Hugs, Helena

Your smaller sizes will help, and others have said, if you work on losing weight, clothing will be even easier. Once you hit 10 posts on the Forum, you can see the Picture gallery. As to what to match, look in any women's clothing website or catalog and buy the entire ensemble. Or similar items found at thrift stores.
HUgs, Ellen

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Judith96a

Hi Helena,
Welcome to our little corner of the Internet. I hop that you will find the help and encouragement that you want.
Reading your story so far took me back to when I was in my early twenties, when I felt and thought many of the feelings and thoughts that you are describing.
Helen and Nikki have already given you very sound advice. Let me add some things from my experience,

• I understand that you want to do some investigation / experimentation before revealing anything to your girlfriend. I presume that your reasoning is that there's no point introducing this 'big issue' into your relationship, with all the risks that entails, if its only 'a passing fancy'. To that, i would reply that it doesn't sound like a passing fancy and that the longer you delay in telling your girlfriend the bigger an issue it will be.
• I don't know where in Europe you are but... find someone who does makeovers for crossdressers and treat yourself to a makeover - not merely for an hour but for 2 or 3 hours if you can afford it. There is nothing to compare with the experience of seeing yourself as a girl for the first time!
• Sorry to be personal but... lose some weight! I'm around the 110 kg mark myself but I'm also 6' 1", and i need to lose 10 kg minimum. You're several inches shorter than me (which makes wearing high heels less of an issue - lucky you). Do it now while you're young and active and its relatively easy. There's nothing wrong with being a 'big girl' but drop down a couple of sizes and you'll have a better range of clothes (there's the necessary motivation!).

Good luck and keep us posted!
Judith xx

---

Hi Judith!

I think you're right about the girlfriend part. But if I want to come out, I have to make sure I'm absolutely certain that I want this crossdressing thing being a part of the rest of my life. I'm still confused and trying to know myself better. I think it's better to wait patiently, try some clothes out and feel what it does to me.
I live in Belgium. For now, I don't know any crossdressing man in real life. I haven't searched either, so it's probably a good idea. I'm quite shy however, so we'll see how that part will go in the future.

I totally agree with you! Furthermore, I'm already losing weight! I started early in september. I was 126 kgs back then. I'm already quite proud of myself for reaching this mark. My ultimate goal for now is 90kgs. We'll see how it goes after that. And as you say, it IS definitely a good motivation!

I'll keep you posted.

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrishaTX

Hello,

Welcome this is a great place! The good news is you started to understand yourself earlier which is better than I did. The best things to do is keep an open mind, feel out your SO and try some therapy to have someone to talk to. This helped me the most.

hat on this forum as you will see there are many like you and stop purging your stuff, you will always buy it back...believe me ! This group must have lost allot of money doing that. lol ..

If you need anything ask..!

---

Hi Trisha!

Thank you for your kind advice!
I know now that purging is not a good way of dealing with my gender-issues or crossdressing thoughts.
I definitely will!

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Suzie Petersen

Hi Helena and welcome here,

Oh how I wish I was your age and had access to the Internet information resources that you have now! When I was your age, the world was still black and white and the wheel had just been invented! To top it off, being 5ft8 with a size 9 shoe! Yes, you have it made!

You can get a lot of advise on this forum, some good, some bad. My first piece of advice: Be careful what advise you listen to from here!
You just joined, so I would suggest you spend some time reading back on all the stories about other peoples experience. You will get a better understanding of how diverse this group really is and how different everybody's situation can be, even though we find that we have something in common, and you might find some information that fits your own situation.

The world is changing, and being something other than Male or Female is becoming more tolerated. Probably not exactly fully accepted yet, then at least more tolerated. More than anything, it is up to you how easy it is going to be to be accepted! You will find that people are much more willing to accept you expressing some gender fluidity or gender variance, if you yourself accept it fully. In other words, if you were to dress as a girl and walk through town with your head held high, people would be much more accepting than if you were showing discomfort, fear or guilt, sneaking around in the darkness.



If you are transsexual, it is not a choice! If you are transsexual, you will sooner or later get to the realization that regardless of what friends, parents and girlfriend would think, you have to change to survive.
From what you have said so far, you are probably not transsexual. More likely, you just enjoy the thought and feeling of dressing, and maybe even fully presenting, as a girl/woman. Most here recognize that as being a crossdresser, someone who enjoys wearing the opposite genders clothing.
Some like one or more specific things, like pantyhose or high heels, others like to dress and present fully like the opposite gender. Either way is fine, there is nothing wrong with any of these variations, although some here will always argue that their way is the only way. Dont let that bother you.

I do find it curious that you have been playing with this for 8 years, but still have only tried on pantyhose, heels and some nailpolish. Growing up with a sister, and a mother, in the house, I think most would have tried on some of their clothing as well.
However, if you enjoy the hose and the heels, and you feel you would like to try getting completely dressed, then I can pretty much promise you that you are in for a fantastic moment when you for the first time see "the girl" looking back at you in the mirror!

As for keeping it a secret then I will tell you this: You will eventually be found out, and the deeper you are into this the more difficult that time will be.
If you have the guts to do so, and if you can accept that some people will find you to be weird and that they, because of their own limitations, may think less of you for a while, it would be a lot better to just openly admit that you enjoy this! I think most of us wish we would have had the nerve to just admit to it at your age.

Oh and as several others have already said .. stop throwing your things away! It is just a waste of money and it doesnt solve the problem.

Hugs
Suzie

---

Hi Suzie!

Oh-my-god, what a long reply! Thank you for being so kind.
I'll definitely keep your advice in mind. As a new member here, I get a lot of information right now. It will have to sink some time before I can see everything clearly and can act to it. I also think you're completely right. If someone is proud of who he is, people around him/her will feel that very same thing.
I think this feeling will eventually come in the future. The future is bright. I have time. I want to explore this at a right pace. And when time is there, I will walk proudly in full girl mode on the streets, head up high.

I indeed never thought of myself as a transsexual. If I however had the choice and in a perfect dream-world, I definitely would go for it. But as you say, this feeling is not strong enough. I don't want to give everything or anyone up. I don't want to hurt anyone. And I can live with myself the way I am right now.

I know, it is a bit curious if you think about it that way. But I've always been very respectful towards my family and I would feel very guilty to intrude their privacy.

The 'coming out' part will eventually come one day. I think I first have to find my true self in order to show myself to others. But nevertheless, you're again absolutely right.

I promise I'll never purge again, haha! It's a huge waste.

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lana Mae

Hi, Helena! Welcome to the forum. Throwing your stuff away is called purging, DO NOT PURGE! Mostly because you may throw something you may want later and it is too late and it costs money to replace things! I would say go with the pantyhose and shoes and nailpolish then add maybe a dress or a blouse and skirt or pants. Take it slow and make an outfit at a time. Goes as far as you want no pressure it is you not someone else. It is not going away and you might as well enjoy. Best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

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Hi Lana Mae!

I promise I'll never do that again! It's indeed a huge waste of money. Money I definitely could have spent on other beautiful things.
Thank you for your kind advice.

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by DIANEF

Hi Helena, not much to add to the very sound advice already given, but just wanted to say welcome and hope you find this place as much of a help as I did. One thing I will say is that at 23 you are still very young, compared to many of us, and have lots of time to find and perfect your ideal look.

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Hi Diane

You don't have to add anything. I'm already really grateful you took the time to read about my story. That's very sweet of you.
I think I came to the right place. You girls have already shared so much great advice and experience.

Hugs, Helena

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Originally Posted by KitCat

Hi Helena
my $.02 worth
Enjoy all the learning you can here and from any REASONABLE place where you can safely and effectively gain knowledge.
Seek out a local organization if any exist and meet some peers in person in a safe and friendly environment
Live YOUR life!
Everybody has a different experience in life make sure you are honest with yourself
Advise and in put is always welcomed but dont let others determine your path
look ahead and back once in a while to make sure you are in the right place
and above all else have fun!
Cheers
Cath

---

Hi KitCat!

You're absolutely right. I think came to the right place to share my story and my true inner feelings.
This is an amazing community of like-minded persons who all want to be beautiful women.

No, it's like you say, I have to make the choices. And in order to do so, I have to experiment with myself and let my feelings do the work.

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by phili

Hi Helena,
Welcome to the big board of advice! So many perspectives and lots to share in this hall of mirrors. I am happy to be the 'man dressed as a woman' figure in your story, but I can still hear the precision with which you are describing what you feel, and your plans. Once we decide to escape our gender prisons, we never turn back, because the underlying motivation is very simple- we want to feel more of what life has to offer.

The importance of this is that you might as well tell your girlfriend now and save her the grief of spending time with you if she turns out not to feel comfortable with you 'pretending to be a woman', or more generously stated- 'enjoying as much as I can of the woman's world'. You want to pair with someone who embraces that, and the sooner you start showing yourself the sooner you will find an SO who does!

---

Hi Phili

Yes, you're absolutely right. I see you can read through the lines. It wasn't my intention to offend someone. It's just my feeling about this and I maybe haven't explained it in the best way, but it's a pretty big and hard task to perfectly describe what you feel.

You're right about the girlfriend part. This will inevitably happen in the future, but I want to come out when I think I'm ready for it. And I'm going to do this in the right pace.

Thank you for your kind advice.

Hugs, Helena

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by ClosetED

Your smaller sizes will help, and others have said, if you work on losing weight, clothing will be even easier. Once you hit 10 posts on the Forum, you can see the Picture gallery. As to what to match, look in any women's clothing website or catalog and buy the entire ensemble. Or similar items found at thrift stores.
HUgs, Ellen

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Hi Ellen

I'm so happy about my smaller sizes. Like I already said to Judith, I'm currently working on it. I already lost about 16kgs. My ultimate goal for now is losing another 20.
If I can achieve that goal, I will be so proud of myself! And I will fit in even more clothes than now.

I'm looking forward to this. It will be a huge help for me. I'm a bit of a awfuls stylist, I think, haha.

Hugs, Helena

Hi Helena, welcome, if your looking for ideas regarding clothing and putting things together, Pinterest is a great place to start, also great for makeup ideas
You've joined a great forum here and your by no means alone

Hugs
Abbey