I wanted to say that all those people who identify as nothing who crossdress say they don't fit anything. Well I researched it and there is a term for that and that term is androgynous. One who is male/female display and in spirit or dress or anyway else. That is what they are. Many women are that and use it well. So, on males who cd that is at least what they are. They are not gender variant but are androgynous.
Here is a link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgyny
In terms of how it feels... it just... is. I am a male. It doesn't feel bad, or good, it just feels what it is. I have never been successful at traditionally male things (sports, cars, etc... could never throw a ball to save my life), but in terms of how it feels to be male... a person with male genitals and XY chromosomes... it just "is".
Sometimes GGs will ask what "feeling feminine" is. Sort of how I feel like as a man. It just is "normal", or "default".
Your statement "I feel like I have short-changed my CDing or transgender sole" really hit home with me. I'm 50 and started crossdressing about 10 years ago. I just wish I discovered this much sooner. I feel at home when dressed and at a CD friendly club. I feel 25 years younger when I'm dressed and many people have said I looked 15-20 years younger. Make up can do wonders to not only how young you look but that translates into who young you feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rita Leigh
Lori
Mmmkkk, how do you feel as a man.
First of all, I feel like a man that was short-changed. My dad raised me as best as he could.(Or for what he knew) His father was killed in an industrial accident when he was three. I don't think he got too much guidance in the fine art of being a man. He did have friends that pushed him along, and would teach him about life in general. But then, he had friends that lived close by. I didn't. So I learned nothing from him about women, or even how my body worked. I guess he figured I'd learn from my friends.
I became a do-it-yourself man. Being bullied in school got me to retreat, and just use it as a place of learning-and not socializing. Curiosity about women got me dressing-that was the closest I was going to get to a woman.
I feel self made. I learned by doing. I like working because people depend on me to do the correct job. My opinion is asked and respected.
I'm a man that can't approach life aggressively. It's not my way.
When i pursue my other interests,the best word i can come up with is "neutral".When sexuality comes into play,it brings along Gender dysphoria,thus i feel completely out of place as male.
I think I may be like you, CarolynO, I like only the fem role in the bed room.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolynO
That is a very strange question. I identify as "just a CD" and feeling like a male is normal. It's all I've ever known.
thats exactly my question....can you describe it
I don't feel as manly as those manly guys especially at this point of my life. I giggle to myself when I see men doing those tough guy gestures, stance, gait style etc. Also the clothing of guys that have that hunt and fish look - thick belt with knife in holster etc.
But why did you exclude CDs that are bi or gay? Your grouping sexual orientation and gender identity together by doing this.
Marla, i get what you said, about curiosity about women got you dressing as one, because you thought that was about as close to one as you would get. I was so estranged, and a loner, and lacking confidence, that is one reason i started to dress at age 14. Exactly the same here! I am more like the passive woman in the bedroom, than male aggressive, if i ever do have an SO or wife. I did meet a man, as Alice, and we "pretended", and i was not the aggressive one.
As I grow older, I find that my male image grows fainter and my female image takes control. I have never lost the desire to be a truly real woman. It's amazing how the desire keeps coming back, no matter how I deny it. So it seems as if my desire to crossdress will never go away.
I feel fine and dandy. I got my brother to take up some light sparring again (hand wraps and mma gloves), i wear plain clothes (jeans and blue or whiite tshirt) to work, and I usually chill in athletic shorts (male version) and a tshirt or tanktop (male versions). I have only gotten my first two tanktops (male version) recently since it seemed weird, but I enjoy them. I totally love mind my dick (though if actual magic happened I wouldn't die to trade it in), but i am sad I have no boobs (A or B cup preferred). I hate my thigh fat, stomach fat, and arm fat. I've never gone full female mode and only crossdress in things I think are cute and would look good on me and comfortable. Love and embarrassed by the red shorts (girls) i bought that the patterns on my panties show through. I don't mind male clothing at all, except for dressing up. "Flip the bird" at suit and tie occasions, i would rather be easily dresssed up in a yoga pant and dress, or something.
What other things I apply to male? Every gender knows about sports and to different degrees, know about politics, raising babies, getting jobs, blah blah. This second paragraph was to clarify I don't know how to answer. [teasing] I'm so manly I eat meat and mow the lawn and wear man's deodorant and use man's shampoo and conditioner. Just kidding, screw mowing the lawn, my dad does that and when I actually own a home that grass is growing to at least half a foot before I cut it. Everyone eats meat! Man's deodorant, psh, my sister wear's man's deodorant and what do I wear? Unscented. Shampoo? Whatever is there. Conditioner? Whatever is there. There are those men that need everything that reads "Men's _____" because there's nothing more manly than wearing deodorant to smell like a tree. Sorry, Old Spice Denali ---- with spruce (tree) - deodorant.
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You look like an badass with that cigar. Irish mafia!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabitha_Sinn
I feel like a man. I've accepted that I dress so the guilt is gone. It is just part of who I am. That is it!
I have no proble being a male at all. I don't feel any desire to change or that I am a "female in a male body." When en femme I do tend to behave in a softer, more gentle fashion. This is partially because the very femine clothes I wear make me feel "softer" but also more at ease.
I feel perfectly normal as a man.
I kept my CDing secret for 60 years and during that period do not recall analysing why I dressed (probably because it was a mystery to me) - but I do remember the fear of being discovered.
Throughout my life i have always felt I had a softer personality and was less aggressive than many men, and also seemed to gravitate more towards women.
Now my secret is out, I want to be more public - not necessarily away from home but certainly within our house - and no longer wish to be "locked away". But I also realise I cannot realistically present as a women (due to my body size) and do not wish to transition.
But if asked what group of "trans" I fit in - I still really have no idea, and i don't think it is important to me. I simply want to enjoy my cross dressing in the little time I have left.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
what prompted this thread was this : http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=gender+fluid
i was pressed by a member to describe how i felt gender fluid or like a women, tough to self assess ones "self",
but while i learned much about my "self" i then tried to describe how it felt to be male, very humbling tasks.
i had much "self" awareness about myself and about members here as well and it prompted this thread and another by myself:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=gender+fluid
so this is a crossdressing site.....how does one get the alfa male aspect of how it feels "to be a man" when they are out hunting or fishing or cutting down trees, not posting on a crossdresser site :thinking: so i made rules, we have some here who are adamant about how they identify and i choose that group as the best to represent as the alfa males....it was not a slight or judgement on any who were not included or even those included.
i even gave up on this thread in the end as it became a hot mess....but it seems to be back on track, most responses almost always reverted back to dressing and acts, some who clearly identify other ways responded..... i found it curious that men who say the identify with women could not get in touch with theyre feelings and describe how "they" relate to feeling like a man without what could be described as misogynistic or narcissistic traits.
i was one myself but after i was pressed and dug in i was able to find an impartial look at myself and i felt better for it and thought these threads would be interesting....wasnt judging by excluding or including anyone....
I hope this is not out of context, but as someone new to this, how I feel/will feel is something that has constantly been on my mind as I have slowly entered this journey. As of today, I definitely feel like a man and have no desire to become a woman. However, sure there is a fantasy of what is would be like to be a woman, and understanding that feeling of being out in public perceived only as a woman, treated as a woman, and all the things that means.
I think part of the fear i have had in dressing is whether putting on those clothes, or putting on that makeup would somehow change who I am inside, and further confuse the situation. Recently, I have come to feel that I am a man, and will continue to be one, and just trust where my desire leads me.
After reading all the replies here, I think it will be interesting to see how I might answer this question again in 6 months.
For me, I have a very strong "type-A" masculine personality, and really like being a man. I just want to wear women's clothing even when I do "manly stuff." I am the kind of person who would chop firewood in a wedding dress lol.
Stephanie, I really admire, you, that you are a Viet Nam combat veteran, yet have embrace you dressing side. I am a vet, but never saw combat, but was bullied by older brothers, and bullies at school, and on some jobs, and going through bullying form the same cruel nazi brothers now, having to fight over and over. But Nam combat must have been total hell. I can see why you suppressed any dressing desires then. Humans and animals are very adaptable when circumstances dictate.
sorry i screwed up a link in post #91 the other link is this http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...en-only-please
auld and hirsute
There really is no feeling when I'm male. I just feel normal. To contrast, I feel special when I'm dressed as a girl.
I think the hugely varied answers really point to how nuanced the question is. I doubt that there is a black and white, definitive answer to your question, even for "alpha males". It would be like trying to describe the feeling of a color.
"Man in a dress" conjures an image of a guy in a kilt. For me crossdressing is more like crossgendering. I am and love being a guy and pretending to be a girl makes me giddy.
Being a "man" doesn't require "hunting or fishing or cutting down trees". Being a man is just that, being a man. Some men hunt or fish and some cut down trees, but many sit at a computer adding up figures, work in retail stores, make or sell jewelry or pluck chickens. Some even dress as women now and then.Quote:
............how does one get the alfa male aspect of how it feels "to be a man" when they are out hunting or fishing or cutting down trees, not posting on a crossdresser site...............
We are what we are and since we've never been anything else, we can't say how it feels to be a man other than it's normal.
Im a crossdresser and i need both of me its who i am inside.