A friend's reaction

Since my wife and I separated (not because of my CDing, I feel obligated to repeat), I've been dressing as a woman more regularly and publicly. I was having a birthday beer with a guy I've known since I was 7 (we were on the swim team together in our home town). I was in mostly male mode. He told me that he's been having a rough time. I knew he's struggled with depression in the past and he told me that it has returned and he's struggling. He was very open and forthright with me, telling me some things he hasn't yet told his wife.

So when he asked me "So how are you doing?" I had to be honest with him. I wasn't planning on "coming out," but I felt honored by his candor and wanted to respond in kind. So I told him that I'm gender-fluid and that I've been crossdressing more or less full-time since the separation.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't be totally surprised, and he wasn't. He and his wife have more or less known for some time. He said "I wondered if you were ever going to share that with me." I kept talking, and told him how meaningful and fulfilling it's been for me, etc. Then I looked over at him (we were sitting side-by-side at the bar), and he'd taken off his glasses and was rubbing his eyes. He had actually teared up. I couldn't believe it.

So he was totally supportive, and curious, and wants me to come have dinner at their house, en femme of course. Amazing. As many on here have said, "You never know who people really are until you give them a chance to respond."

Thanks for listening --

Wow, that is a beautiful story, Tracy. You've got me thinking about some of my own relationships now.

Tracy, I agree that is a beautiful story, you are lucky to have a friend like that.

Wow, if only I had a friend like that.

That's a really moving story and a great breakthrough. That's what a true friend should be. Good for you!

That is what I would call a real friend indeed. Most of mine though would run me out of town if they knew I would imagine.

And why not? You and he have a history of mutual support. He trusts you with his inner emotions. Good on him, and good on you for being just as much of a good friend when he needs you.

Circumstances and my own spiky personality mean I don't have many friends. (Divorce is great for shining a light on personal relationships) But I run an online gaming group among whom I count several friends. I mentioned in a thread of mine coming out to my closest on my birthday. His reaction was exemplary, apart from a slightly poor choice of words in saying 'We all have our vices'. Lol
Another I came out to after I'd gently probed following my own suspicions and found she's TG, and intending to transition albeit maybe only hormonally. Naturally it was only fair and even germane to share my own experiences. Living at home she's jealous of the shoes I can sometimes wear. 😁
And I've made some good new friends here. Thanks everyone.

Tracy, that is such a wonderful story. I second what Macey wrote. Thank you for sharing.
Robin

Yes sometimes the ones you think will have issues with news like that are the ones that accept you for who you really are.
That is a true friend.

Tracy, that is a wonderful story.

Amazing story. What a great friend. The worth of friends like that is incalculable.

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the dinner details now.

That is a great story Tracy, so good to know that you have a friend who you can share with

When I shared my secret with a good friend of mine, she was very matter of fact about the whole thing, no big deal really, it had taken me an age to decide to share it with her, would it spoil our friendship, would she think less of me, nothing of the kind, she was, and is very supportive of me

As you say you never know until you try and it was lovely to share, they re out there, you just need to find them

so true. The hardest thing for people with our "secret" is realizing that it doesn't mean we are toxic. Just a bit different

in vino veritas

I found most people were interested in what I did and how interesting a life I apparently lead.

I am still aprehensive in telling others though.

I haven't shared my crossdressing with anyone outside of related forums. One of my kids came round unannounced the other day, I heard her car door shut outside and I rushed to the bedroom to quickly get rid of bra and forms and through on a teeshirt. Even then, I still had on a pair of flowery short shorts but, bless her, she never said a word. Sometimes I wish I could tell the kids, but then doubt steps in and I don't. Perhaps they know though, because, last Christmas, I was given gifts that included a couple of sweatshirts and a necklace. The sweatshirts had to be from the womens department because of the wide round neck and lighter, softer material and the necklace was definitely feminine but designed to hold my late wifes wedding ring.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by abbiedrake

Circumstances and my own spiky personality mean I don't have many friends. (Divorce is great for shining a light on personal relationships) But I run an online gaming group among whom I count several friends. I mentioned in a thread of mine coming out to my closest on my birthday. His reaction was exemplary, apart from a slightly poor choice of words in saying 'We all have our vices'. Lol
Another I came out to after I'd gently probed following my own suspicions and found she's TG, and intending to transition albeit maybe only hormonally. Naturally it was only fair and even germane to share my own experiences. Living at home she's jealous of the shoes I can sometimes wear. ��
And I've made some good new friends here. Thanks everyone.

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I was a very hurt and unhappy bunny due to above Hubster discussing our very personal and private life with a mutual friend. I'm very shy now due to years of being pretty much house bound and it just being the two of us. The first things you lose when you become disabled (in no particular order) are:
Friends
Independence
Dignity
Income
Security in ANY form

You learn to value what little of those things you are able to hold on to.

The person the Hubster poured his heart out to is someone I'm really not wanting to meet face to face now while prior to this I was looking forward to welcoming the friend's soon to arrive baby but now I'm not wanting to talk to him, much less meet him and his family, face to face. Why? A large part of it I think is that I'm late to the party. Hubster has a habit of telling me important parts of our lives last or changing the rules we've agreed on and the parameters we've set out for ourselves only to go off piste the second he's out the door on a far too regular basis. Because I'm so dependent on him I find it far more than a little unsettling. He's happy to dump me in it and embarrass me because he is far more outspoken and demonstrative than I am. He's right when he says he has no qualms about pretty much anything. I'm very different. I like to keep private things private. I guess it may come from a lifetime of having to play my cards very close for survival sake.

I feel like after 21 years together, this being his longest relationship in his life, and he stares at me all day every day, he could maybe either give me a little warning, or wait until he's thought things through, has some kind of plan, or possibly is able to discuss things with me before he airs the bedsheets.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ozark

in vino veritas

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Some of us manage to over share despite being sober now...
One continues, humbly, to learn from one's mistakes.