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Jealousy, I think...
Hello everyone. (This post is going to be me trying to unload some "stuff" that I think has been festering in the back of m'head for a while. If this is of not of interest for you, please feel free to bypass this spammy-sort-of post.) 😉
I am quite enjoying the myriad different posts and topics in this forum....wish I'd found you girls ages ago.
I confess to feeling quite "low" today, and from what I have read in other threads, this might be the place I can unload, somewhat.
Have any of you ever felt envious of the GG's that surround you in daily life? Seeing the girls wandering about in the clothing that has been designed for their curvy physionomy? .... then getting this very deep gut-punch as your brain stops admiring and starts seeing just how not-femine your genetic original form is...nascent jealousy that every little girl going through her growing up phases will eventually have such a beautiful form...
I go through times like this, now and again.
Once, when stresses from work were quite overwhelming, I stood in the parking lot, beside the open door to my truck, and suddenly started silently crying into the night sky. The only words I could articulate at that very alone moment was: "Sometimes, I just want to be pretty..."
Discovering that CD'ing was an option for me was, dare I say, a true life saver for me... even though my journey of self-discovery remains very private and only at its beginning steps...
Sigh...didn't mean for this to be a core dump... i hope that i have not triggered or offended anyone.
(Feels a little lighter inside, having typed this out.)
Jenny
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I have envied women almost every day of my life, Jenny! Or at least 25/30ths of the time (I am a wuss when it comes to pain! Lol). So you are not alone.
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Hi Jenny,
I think all of us have had that feeling on many occasions. For me, I know how pretty I feel when all dolled up and that honestly makes me see other CDers to be very pretty & sexy for that matter.
Feeling pretty makes you smile & smiling makes you pretty! Reading your story makes me realize none of us, CDers or not, feel flawless or as good looking as the next person & that?s where I?d say if I were there that you are beautiful & sexy,!
The right person always finds you to be perfect no matter your self seen flaws.
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Jenny you are definitely not alone in those feelings. For myself I am a straight man that is comfortable in my man skin. Yet I still have days when the pink fog rolls and I just got to put on my femme. It can be triggered just looking at a women in a pretty dress. Happened to me today. Was talking about circle skirts my friend says she bought one on amazon. So I go look to see what I can find. Boom fog alert. I found a skirt with some lacey details along the hem.
So please don't feel bad having those feelings we all get them.
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Sometimes I just want to be pretty as well. I guess that is what makes some of us simple crossdressers , those who are comfortable in both worlds but have a unique desire to test the waters of being en femme.
I suspect just about everyone who crossdresses takes a keen notice of women. I am not jealous in any way but sometimes I do think - gee if I could only look like that!
Sandi
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Pretty sure that half the women on the dance floor are envious of you, Sandi! The girl with the most expensive boobs there! Lol.
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I have never felt jealous of the females I admire. I simply copy their looks as best I can. And, if you've seen any of my pix? I hope you'll agree I'm a pretty good female impersonator for a 75+ year old man!:battingeyelashes:
The only women I can't imitate is those skinny, long necked, model types! But, even they don't make me jealous. Just frustrated!:doh:
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My own feelings are more in alignment with yours doc...I too try to copy the looks of the women I admire. Its not envy or jealousy, but rather imitation - the sincerest form of flattery. It can be an actress, TV personality, or someone I know (my wife included!) I just want to create as best I can that look given the "canvas" I am working with - myself! I don't get frustrated though - I'm having WAY too much fun to let any negativity get in the way of that!
I just have to watch myself though - often I find myself studying women - their makeup, how their clothes fit, their walk etc., so I might try it myself. Pleasurable, but folks could get the wrong idea!
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I'm not at all jealous of women - the pretty ones or the not so pretty ones. I do believe they've gotten the better end of the deal when it comes to looks. If they don't have naturally attractive features on the outside, they can use makeup and padding and cosmetic surgery to fool the world however much they would like. Guys pretty much just get to show the world the hand they were dealt. Other than maintaining a fit physique, there isn't a lot men can do that is acceptable to society in general. About the only thing I can think of is wearing a toupee. Yes, guys can have cosmetic surgery; but, most never do.
When I am wearing my dresses and/or my lingerie, I don't know that I feel pretty. I'd say I simply feel prettier than I do in drab mode. I feel softer and a bit more vulnerable and I love those feelings. After almost 77 years, I'm just plain tired of always having to be the person that others lean on, the person expected to resolve problems, the person expected to take charge. I want to feel as though I am the more delicate person that gets to depend on others and lean on others, if only in my fantasies.
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Jenny,
There are a lot of ladies here who do not have a perfect female figure but they make themselves look very pretty nonetheless. I myself don't envy women but have always admired how they look and try my best to emulate them.
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Very envious of the pretty ones. Not of the rest. There's some meaning there I think. Not sure what.
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Hi Jenny. Not jealous of women . But often feel the way you do. Like Heather pointed out. I get tired and fed up living up to everyone elses expectations of me as a man. CD is an escape and stress relief from the trials and tribulations of everyday life. Its also great fun.
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I think my perspective is a lot like others here. I emulate women rather than envy them. Of course, I would prefer that my physical attributes made emulation easier, but I made do with what I have. I suspect that a lot of women out in the world feel the same, in that they would like to be a little taller, slimmer, more buxom?etc.
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I think a lot varies from person to person and what drives them individually to pursue dressing. Personally I do admire a nice looking woman and want to imitate them, but there is also a feeling of wishing I could be her. Is it jealousy or desire, you could call it either. The difference is for ME I want to be female, not just pretend. I've pretty well lost my chance to transition so I have to accept life as it is. Pretending and emulating them is the best I'll have.
Roxie
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Like others I attempt to emulate women as closely as possible. But there are times I am truly envious of women. For example, some times I am envious that I don't have breasts.
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I envied women. I wish I had a nice ser. So a bra fits right. Have something to actually hold up. Something that just looks right. With out all the messing around To just slip it on and done
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For me, jealousy is definitely too strong of a word; envy is a bit closer. But I do pay attention to the style they use depending on their body shape and how easily they seem to be able to create an attractive look even though the framework is not close to the idealized shape which is not really all that common. As an NB male with a far less than ideal shape to work with the challenge is to make that look a bit better than it is. Many of the girls here do an excellent job of doing that but others not so much. I see the same pattern in the GG's. So it should be equalized. But it is not. Women seem to have a special talent in the ability to look nice no matter what. Or maybe it is just my perception. So a bit of envy does creep into my thinking but mostly it is emulation of those that are shaped more like me so I can look more like them. A curious phenomenon, for sure. Imitation can be a powerful complement.
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I am jealous also. I am envious also. When I see an attractive woman, I am jealous and envious that I cannot wear what she wears in public, that I cannot look as good as she does. Wish I could be an attractive, well dressed woman.
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I'm only jealous of women in a way that women were jealous of men when they couldn't wear pants without fear of being arrested or censored. Women have their own set of problems unique to their genetic gender. I have too many GG family member who have suffered for years with crushing pain and others who've been raped or otherwise assaulted.
I'm jealous of the variety of choices that women have. I'm jealous of the options to embellish with jewelry and accessories. I'm jealous of painted toenails (but, oddly not jealous of painted fingernails). I like my male body but would love to have a more toned physique.
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I wouldn't call it jealousy but, envious for sure. Mostly due to the amount of work I have to go through to present, somewhat, as female. There is no way I could just throw on some clothes and look feminine without body shapers, wigs, and makeup.
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When the body hit 75 I realized the vast majority of my years on earth are in the past. Looking into a mirror is reality. When I look at younger people of varying ages I reflect upon where I have been. It's a rare occurrence these days to see a woman who is attired as I would like to be. Women in pretty dresses, let alone having a form I would like to have if I were a woman are a rarity. There must be some conspiracy among the local television station to hire curvy female weather forecasters, who, it seems, must wear form fitting dresses. They please my eyes. There is also Vanna White of Wheel of Fortune who is 65 years old. I am totally hooked on watching her strut in front of the puzzle board in a dress and heels. If I am envious of a woman for her form, it is Vanna White. She is closest to my age and I definitely would love to look like her as a senior.
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I sigh, in a wistful, longing sort of way and try to make do with what I have.
As far as wishful thinking goes, I just wish I didn't live in such a reactionary, uptight sort of world.
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Absolutely! I think we deal with a form of dysphoria one way or another. I am extremely envious of femininity and the female image. I just wish I could be them in their daily lives.
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I also wouldn't call it jealousy but, envious. To be able to wear what you want, when you want, and where you want, within reason. At this time of year in the northern mid-west, women are wearing what I want to wear out in public without having to get made up. I want to go about my daily business or chores in sundresses, miniskirts with a tank top or camisole or sleeveless blouse wearing strappy sandles or heels as I please in public without any stigma or worries about what others might think. This is why I am most envious of women...they can do it.
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Absolutely, I admit to female envy. If it weren?t for familial and societal consequences, and the fact that I have a large male body frame and voice, I would opt for procedures (hormones and surgery) that would give me breasts and swap out my male equipment. I not only envy the clothes, but the bodies. Nancy