I do not wear a wig or any make up; just not my preference.
My wife tolerates my dressing desires even so far as to say she is reasonably accepting. She does not wish to see my wardrobe (or know of its size) nor see me dressed but will offer times to be out of the house or let me dress upstairs while she is downstairs for a while. She would not be as supportive if I wore make up and/or a wig. Things would get a bit strained if I did.
I wish my wife would let me dress. Early in our marriage I tried to approach her and she said absolutely not. We have been married 47 years . She knows I secretly dress and on various occasions has found some of my clothes. It used to be a sexual thing but not so much anymore. I just like the feel of women's clothes. Am now in to make up and shoes. I love my Rago panty girdle and wear it everyday. I wonder if I approached her and promised to do it out of her sight if she would let me. It would be our secret
I don't often get the chance to do full make-up.
My wife usually goes on vacation to her home country for about 4 weeks in the summer, so that's my cue to bring out the make-up. I spend a lot more time dressed during that time, too.
When I dress, it is usually completely from head to toe. I use makeup only when either wife or I are out of town. Makeup takes time to apply and makeup incompletely cleaned up can tell...and DADT has that don?t tell part. I have three wigs and a large collection of clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, and padding and forms, current in fashion enough to dress and blend into nearly any occasion.
Definitely a secret. She reacts violently when she gets a hint that I may be dressing. She has always been bigger than I am. I keep everything in a rented storage unit a few blocks from my office, neatly arranged, with furniture and space to dress. I have a separate bank account with its own online statements and credit card to pay for my hobbies, the storage unit, and Abby?s finery. If I die suddenly, my storage unit and its contents will be a big surprise to her.
Definitely in a DADT relationship. She doesn't want to know anything about it, see it, or hear about it. What she does know is that once a week, in the middle of the night, I leave the house dressed and covered in male attire. Once on the road, the male attire is removed and I get to have my enjoyment. I should only be gone for an hour or so, so that limits my distance I can go dressed. What she is not aware of is on week-ends during the day, when I know where she is at and will not be home for a while, I will leave the house dressed like for the night and change when a distance from home. I have a couple of mom and pop stores, very small, I will stop at and shop with total acceptance. Also, have been to a beach a couple of hours from home and worn my girl shorts, shirts, and sandals down to the beach.
A couple of years ago, I had to take a road trip to get to a family function 4 states away. It was a 2 day all day drive to get there and it presented me with the opportunity to dress for the majority of the road trip. Once I arrived, it was total guy mode, but before and after, pure pleasure. The best part of the road trip was when I stopped for the night in Bishop Calif. I kept seeing signs for Keough's Hot Springs and advertising how they had lap swimming from 7 to 9 daily. Since it was a week-day, I figured it would not be crowded. So at 7 o'clock I called and spoke with a very friendly girl. I confirmed they offered the lap swimming and the cost ($7). I also asked if I would be allowed to swim in a 'one piece suit'. Her first response was of course, people wear speedo's all of the time. But when I explained I meant a guy wearing a women's one piece, she said without hesitation, 'Of Course, there are a couple of guy who where them during the afternoon swimming session." Off I went, arrived, paid, and her only direction was that I needed to use the mens dressing room, not the ladies. I changed, walked out, got a couple of looks from some of the other swimmers (there was only 7 other swimmers) but once I started swimming, it was with total acceptance.
I really wish I could share these experiences with my wife, but again, she doesn't want to know, see, or hear about any of crossdressing.
I 'm not DADT. I dress every day, but my wife draws the line at makeup or a wig. Once a week I go to TCNE and I put my makeup on there. It seems to work out OK for both of us.
The problem with DADT, it seems to me, is it limits communication. I think "Don't Show But Talk" might be harder at first, but would limit the stress on both halves of the couple in the long run. Easier said than done, I know.