In a Tight Spot - Damsel in Distress

After a relatively slow couple of weeks, I finally went on a proper outing this past Friday. I started by going to a Goodwill and an Art store which I have visited enfemme since my first outing.

Unfortunately, on the way back, an intoxicated / homeless / unstable person was sitting at the street corner, 30-40 feet from my car, which was parked between two cars and blocked by a double parked UPS truck. 😩

Trying not to stare, I watched the man at the corner from the edge of my field of vision. The man saw me approach and after fixing his stare and watching me for a few seconds, hollered something unintelligible and got on his feet, but didn't come towards me.

I took my eyes off him just long enough to look at the UPS driver who looked like he was getting ready to go, but not quick enough for me. "Excuse me", I said, a little panic in my voice. "Could you get me out of here please?", showing him my keys and pointing to the car he was blocking.

The UPS driver looked at me, understood my predicament, laughed (not a mean laugh, but he did) and said "Sorry". Then he started his truck.

"It's Ok" I said, rushing into my car. Eventually, the truck moved and I drove off.

Next, I visited a Ross and Safeway in a neighboring town and on the way back, another Ross where I picked up a dress and a skirt.

There, my outing ended. Unfortunately, I had to go back into drab and scrub off my nail polish to pick up some repaired tools from a contractor.

Thanks for reading.

Patience, I'm glad you got an opportunity to go out dressed. I'm sorry you had a little scare.

Glad you're safe, and I L.O.V.E Ross.

Think I would have had a heart attack if it happened to me.Good you escaped unscathed and enjoyed the rest of your outing.

I can imagine the situation was unsettling. Fortunately, it quickly resolved. What we will never know is what thoughts were going through the minds of either the apparently unstable guy nor the UPS driver. Thats when our imaginations can get the better of us.

This often happens to me and the ladies that I work with in a downtown concert location. Typically, the people who seem unstable are asking for money. One of the ladies that I work with does this when she encounters a person who seems unstable; she waves her hands around in the air and talks loudly to herself. She has never had a problem with that ruse. They leave her alone.

It is always unsettling though; you never know what is going through their minds.

I'm glad that everything worked out for you ok and you had a good time out.

You got a taste of what GG's have to fear every day; People not in the right frame on mind that may do the unexpected just because you're a woman and easy prey.

Yes, I've encountered my share of obnoxious men while out en femme. It's an unfortunate but unavoidable part of the female experience. I'm not good at handling it. But there are perks too. Like guys holding the door for you. And then there was the guy who let me pet the live boa constrictor he was carrying in his neck and shoulders. I enjoyed that.

I'm confused. There was a homeless/crazy guy 30-40 feet from you who did nothing towards you, but stood up and yelled randomly. And there was a truck blocking your car, whose driver moved when you asked him to. The problem was..........?

Patience, I get it and fortunately things worked out ok.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OrdinaryAverageGuy

I'm confused. There was a homeless/crazy guy 30-40 feet from you who did nothing towards you, but stood up and yelled randomly. And there was a truck blocking your car, whose driver moved when you asked him to. The problem was..........?

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And I'm confused that you're confused, but maybe I shouldn't, seeing as you're an ordinary, average guy.

I can sort of see that the entire story may seem like a nothingburger now, but that's with the benefit of hindsight. At the time, the outcome I reported was not only not guaranteed; it also could not have been anticipated and was only one of a number of different possible outcomes, not all of them positive. The UPS driver might not have been there to move the truck, or the deranged man may have done more than just stand up and holler, given time. And that's just two of the variables.

And in case I was not clear, It was the sight of me that caused the deranged man to start hollering and flailing. I had reason to be concerned.

I don't know about you, but to me, presenting as a female in public comes with an enhanced sense of vulnerability, which is/was exacerbated when I feel/felt trapped. Luckily, that does not happen very often.

I'd love to read some of your own experiences going out enfemme. I expect they will be way more interestng than mine. Can't wait.

@DebbieDenier - There was no time to have a heart attack or even think about one. When these things happen, you just have to roll with it and grin and bear it. Comes with the territory. Hopefully, one will come out stronger after the experience.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CynthiaD

Yes, I've encountered my share of obnoxious men while out en femme. It's an unfortunate but unavoidable part of the female experience. I'm not good at handling it.

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I'm not sure I'm that good at it myself, then again, I haven't had that much experience, although I do get the odd (no pun intended) man hovering around me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stephanie47

You got a taste of what GG's have to fear every day; People not in the right frame on mind that may do the unexpected just because you're a woman and easy prey.

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Yes, it is a bittersweet feeling, although in truth, I did not feel physically threatened, as the man was smaller than me. Still, the last thing I want to have to do enfemme is to get into physical altercations with loonies on the street. I'm a lady, goddammit.


Thank you all for your replies.

Yes even when in drab mode it can be a bit stressful when someone around you is exhibiting abnormal or erratic behavior. I had to do some work in a psych ward of a hospital recently, and I was certainly uncomfortable not being used to that environment.

Also, was walking to my hotel room at 2 AM a couple of months ago and was being followed to my room by a male. I did not open my door until I made sure he went away. You have to always stay alert for sure. Of course I was bigger than this guy so he would have gotten a surprise if he had tried anything - Think like the Sandi in SpongeBob. Kapow.

Sandi

I thought of you last night Patience. Many here know I run 5-6 miles daily split into morning and evening and I'm rather willowy anyway but have been fighting kidney stones ALL summer and am currently 106 lbs @ 5'6.5" and was actually in a pretty swanky part of Hancock Park (adjacent to BevHills) here in LA and had a guy pull up in a new Mercedes last night and try to get me IN it.

He pulled up beside me and rolled down the window motioned to me and started to speak to me.. I keep walking with my music on pretending I don't hear. He keeps on with this moving up with me as I walk and 3 times he does this before he finally got OUT of the car to walk after me. I picked it up and ran faster, darted down and zig zagged behind some houses and other buildings and lost him

Yes I know how to defend myself ( they actually taught us in WIC classes back in Houston 35 years ago so you could defend yourself while carrying a baby or little kid ) but this was a very buff 30s-40s something , Ill be 60 next month and the fight would have been very rugged for both us and most likely he would've won.

Anytime I am out I never pass any male person, no matter how dressed, without glancing back slightly ,sometimes 2-3 times , just to be safe.

Unfortunately that is the real female exp in life. Not prancing about in short shorts, giddily conversing with gf's about nail polish.
Patience knows this but some here don't.

Wow, Dutchess, what a story. I'm glad you were able to get away ok. Still, nobody should have to endure that ever. That was common assault.

I don't know if it would have helped, but I have heard it's a good idea to use a cell phone camera to record events like this, although in this case, some pepper spray might also have given you some extra protection if needed.

I hope your future outings are much less eventful and if you think of me, it will be for a far more pleasant reason.

Dutchess, sorry you had to live this. When the #meetoo movement surfaced years ago, I asked my wife if she had been enduring male misconducts, and boy, was I surprised to learn how many times it happened to her ever since she was a teenager. And even when it is not plain predatory conducts, it can be more subtle (sort of) things like a guy addressing her in a very rude and commanding way while if it was a man facing him he wouldn't dare using that tone. This is a milder form of agression, but it's agression nonetheless.
I remember also the first time my wife explained to me what it was for a woman to go back home alone in a city at night. Although I guessed it wasn't a walk in the park, it is eye opening to hear a woman saying it in her own words. And another thing comes to mind as I am writing this: she once told me that girls had the habit, when facing a store window, to use it as a mirror to spot males checking them from a distance, without having to make eye contact with them. At the time, I thought: wow, cunning. But today, I realize that if I never did this as a boy it is simply because I never felt like I could be a prey.
About the walk in the park and the walk in the city at night, told from a woman's point of view, there is this absolutely excellent episode of Master of None: Ladies and Gentlemen (season 1 episode 7, available on Netflix). https://liketowatchblog.wordpress.co...ies-gentlemen/

Thank you both of you... this is all sort of part and parcel.. you just sort of learn to avoid . At my sz I needed to 1.Keep moving and 2. find OTHER people within sight..like in cars or random people/the ups driver etc just out to walk/run TOWARDS that would see me , the more people the better....something else that works really well for me is a small can of bugspray I slide down into the pocket of my running shorts. I get it from the dollar store actually to keep dogs away..its quite effective on humans too!! for anyone and its easy to obtain!

I was dodging down between those houses thinking this is a TRIP ,of all days, Patience was just talking about this!!!

Diane you are right about what M said. We get so used to being prey that we don't even think about it .the things we do to avoid become automatic looking in windows ,mirrored surfaces, over our shoulder in a way that no one even close up notices. I did that Saturday night in a Little Caesars pizza window when I was out running - I knew I was going into an area of no visibility with not many people and that window is my last checkpoint. No one was following that I knew of and it was light out..its just what I do

Thanks for sharing about your outing. I am always so worried but they almost always end up being quite boring.