Just venting

Earlier this year my situation changed to where I am not able to dress as much as I have or would like to. I brought this up to my some what accepting but still not understanding wife a few weeks ago. She suggested that I spend some time in the basement (away from the family) or use some time off when the family is otherwise out.

So I have off this Friday, and my dear wife has asked that I take her car to the dealer ( the previous conversation is not on her mind). So typically when I have errands on my day off I would underdress, wear women's shorts, maybe women's shoes, and maybe light make-up and/or jewelry. I think it is still androgynous but still presenting male. Of course I still want to take this further, because I want to be myself and not hide. But I do know what society could do and realize I could run into family or friends (I have on these days off). So do I continue on with what I have,add a khaki skirt thinking I could pass as cargo short, or say hell with I it and go out wig and all (remember this is at a dealer where I would be "trapped".)

I know only I can answer this, I just need to vent.

Thank you.

Rylie, early on after I came out to my wife, she was understanding and said if I needed time I could have it, no problem. But of course, as the social calendar in my life, she makes plans and tells me what we are doing on night 1 or 5 or whatever. It seemed that every time I felt like dressing, she would announce our plans only moments before I could get my plan out of my mouth.

So after many such instances, I had a sit down with her and told her exactly what I wrote above. I let her know it's not her fault and I don't expect that she' be thinking about my cross dressing but asked how I can make a plan and not upset hers. We worked it out. I just scheduled something on my calendar and invited her to that "meeting."

We don't do that any more, but it worked early on. Now, it's old hat.

I hate it when they want you to see something in the engine bay when you have your best skirt & heels on, and you know your going to get grease on somewhere.

I dress in women's clothes almost every day... but 'women's clothes' don't automatically mean a skirt and ruffled tops. The biggest give-away might be that tops have buttons on the wrong side, but most men are NOT going to see that. Women probably will.

I live in liberal New England, but nobody says a word. Once I got evil stares from a guy when going out for ice cream with my Mom and the kids, over my sandals showing my electric blue painted toenails. But not a word was said. I'm certain he had no idea about my girl jeans, panties, and t-shirt. He was just looking at my feet.

There is out, and there is >>OUT<<.

- Kitty / Moose

Can't you drop the car of the night before.

I can sometimes be tuff to get PlayTime.

Last year my wife was pushing me to find a new job, little did she know I was rejecting jobs that interfered with PlayTime.
I came close to taking a 12:00 am to 8:00 job but I was afraid I would the hate the late night hours.

Jennifer@home, I like the compromise. It's refreshing to hear that a spouse can be respectful to the needs of a CD instead of the usual resentment or DADT.

Rylie, if you have an entire day to take care of errands, you could drop the car off in subdued mode and catch a taxi home and really girl it up until the car is ready.

Heck, you do not have to be a cross-dresser to open your mouth and declare, "Hey, honey, you're killing me with all these social obligations. How about we do nothing for a while?" I see a counselor for issues not related to cross-dressing, and, she is of the opinion everyone needs a space for their own and time to do what they want.

Rylie, if your wife knows you have a need to wear women's clothing, then you should speak up and negotiate. I think I saw on your bio that you're into model trains and have been told to go to the basement. Heck, lock the door to the basement, dress up and get a model railroad layout going. Darn, I'd give half my soul for that arrangement.

Rylie,
I have this problem with my wife and son, I can't say if it's deliberate or not, but Sunday is suppose to be my day, it was agreed by all , mid morning I will often get a call from my son saying he's going to drop his dog off or just popping round to borrow some tools. The times I've sat around half the morning waiting for him only to find he's changed his mind.
I think Jennifer has the right idea but it's still not a nice feeling that my needs are still met with a feeling of isolation and a lack of consideration.

I will add that if you want to go out dressed and not feel anxious try joining a social group, I find it's changed my my outlook on my dressing , the secrecy and hiding and fear of what people think has gone.

Drop the car off. Get a loaner. Go home. Dress.

Thanks for the replies and encouragement, the service isn't going to take long (1hr) so I will wait. I do have some other errands to do and i think I fit I some shopping too��. What I will wear has not been decicded yet.

Jennifer, I like the scheduling idea too, I may try that next time I'm off, well I guess I did as I have my dr appt which was scheduled so I could attend as myself.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

OK I feel I owe you ladies what happened. The dealer called last night to cancel, they didn't have the parts, so I told the wife I was going to text my friend (MTF) for a lunch date. My wife knows this friend and is ok with use meeting for lunch. So after she goes to work I take the dog to the park, and then go Shopping (doing many of the other errands) and SHOPPING befor I had my lunch date. This was ALL done as feminine as possible. Those chaser I did have to interact with were all very present and perfessional. I never felt like I was treated any different.

Unfortunatly due to sickness, lack of parts at the car dealer, etc. the trip I mentioned in the original post didn't happen until this past Friday. I decided to go some what androngonys. I had a khaki skort, women's Skechers, fem tshirts with my forms but a large sports jersey and ball cap; no make up or wig. I arrived at the dealer and was nervous about the others in the waiting room but felt comfortable in myself. After awhile I used the restroom (mens), and when I came out there was a coworker of mine also in the waiting room. I just kept my head down and hoped he didn't see me, he didn't say anything today?.

I left the dealer and went shopping, First to the grocery store. Al that was said was people noticing the Sports team on the jersey. Then off to old navy to try on some clothes, again nothing said even the attendant at the dressing room didn't say anything about the women's jeans I tried on. I also went to Ulta and DSW. The SAs at Ulta seemed busy, thought I may try asking for some assistance? Maybe next time? And nothing sparked my interest at DSW.

Overall a good trip :)

The question you need to ask yourself (and your wife) is, "Am I OK with people I know knowing I am a crossdresser?" For some of us, the answer is "Yes" and for some of us, the answer is "No." Sometimes it's the wife that is more worried about it.

You mentioned seeing a co worker and trying to hide from him. That tells me that you are not ready to come out as a crossdresser. You can't really have it somewhere in the middle. You don't have to grow a beard and wear wife beater T shirts but on the other hand, if you start wearing obvious women's blouses or shoes in public, people will begin to figure it our.

I suggest not taking the women's thing past underdressing in your home town and going somewhere where people don't know you to do the full on crossdressing.